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Date Posted: 21:16:39 04/23/01 Mon
Author: ~~Lauren
Subject: ...I like pretending that I don't wanna get involved...but that's a big fat lie, cuz I got something to say...
In reply to: Jessica 's message, "I just gotta say it." on 14:54:07 04/23/01 Mon



I know how you feel, Jess...I really do. You're walking in the middle of a three...and then somehow ya end up behind the other two...and the conversation goes up and around and past you. I know how you feel.

But at the same time, I think it's senior year and everyone's panicking. Everyone's like "Shit...I have three months to get as close to these people as I was supposed to be doing for four years. I have three months to do four years!!!" But you don't really do anything differently, or try harder, you just EXPECT more from other people. We're all guilty of it.

And sometimes, I see you alone, and I pull you in. Cuz I know ... you don't wanna feel like you're imposing. You don't want to feel like you HAVE to run to catch up...you just want it to be as slow as you. Right? I try to pull you in... not cuz I feel bad, but cuz "here" just isn't as good as when you're in it. But, Jess, honestly (and I'm only saying this cuz hopefully you know I love you and that I'm just being honest)...sometimes you hide yourself in the background, and then get mad at us for not searching. Like, you sit in a corner and write in your book, and no one says anything. Or you and Jay are in the corner, cuddling and whispering, and it's not like anyone's gonna go sit on the arm of the chair and clap you on the back when it's all kissy-face and be like "Hey buuudies...what's the haps?"

No one "gets invited" and no one owns the conversation. You know us...it's invite yourself when you hear about something by word of mouth. And join the conversation. JUST DO IT. And don't get mad if someone teases you for what you say. I mean...c'mon...if they couldn't make fun of me, I'd barely HAVE a relationship with Erik and Will and Ryan and Bryan and Jay. Ya know?

Like I said...everyone's just freaking out that we have such a short time together...but let's not ruin it.

Love you.

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  • "Everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same things that they do." I'm not gonna preach, I'm not gonna make a fuss, and I'm not causing trouble, cos I can deal with change if that's how someone wants it. (NT) -- Willie, 21:31:51 04/23/01 Mon
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