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Date Posted: 14:01:25 10/26/05 Wed
Author: No name
Subject: TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS

When Friends Hurt and Friendships Harm
Joy Stevens

Recognizing a toxic friendship before it starts. Avoid friends that harm you and friendships that are potentially harmful when you can.
Entering into a friendship opens the door for hurt and harm; a harmful friend or a toxic friendship can be one of life's hardest relationship tribulations to forgive and forget. Toxic friends often come back to haunt you for a long time.
There are nine main types of toxic friends--those people whose friendship hurts you eventually. Knowing the categories of toxic friends helps you avoid them. Unfortunately, though, becoming friends is risky and there is never a guarantee you will not be hurt by a toxic friend.

The User as a Toxic Friend:
This person only has friends as long as he/she can use them for some purpose or goal of his/her own. This person could be the most harmful of toxic friends.

The Betrayer as a Toxic Friend:
Nothing hurts more than a friend who betrays you. The betrayer is truly a toxic friend.

The Control Freak as a Toxic Friend:
The control freak is a friend as long as she/he is in control. The control freak often seems to be helping you. Refuse that help or break that control and find out what toxic friendship really means.

The Judge as a Toxic Friend:
Ever judgmental, ever critical, this friend can erode your self-esteem. The judge is a fault finder. You can rarely do anything completely right with this toxic friend.

The Promise Breaker as a Toxic Friend:
This person rarely does what he says he will do. If you have a date, your toxic friend is often a no-show. A general lack of dependability makes this person a toxic friend.

The Gossip as a Toxic Friend:
The gossip will eventually betray your trust and become a toxic friend. Gossips are easy to spot so beware your friendships with them.

The Self-Centered Person as a Toxic Friend:
Self-centered people can't think of you as they are too busy thinking of themselves. They make toxic friends.
The Competitor as a Toxic Friend:
The competitor is always looking to be "one up." Although some competitiveness is normal in friendships, too much competition makes a toxic friend.

Again, no can always avoid a toxic friend. But often to be forewarned is to be forearmed.

The Leaner as a Toxic Friend:
The leaner is a very needy friend who clings and may be at your doorstep every day. He/she usually wants all of your time and jealousy often enters the picture in this friendship.

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