Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your
contribution is not tax-deductible.)
PayPal Acct: 
Feedback: 
Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):
| [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, [5], 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ] |
| Subject: ' i love you' | |
Author: sweetsong | [ Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
] Date Posted: 15/01/07 14:10 you know everyone uses the word love here a lot, very freely and says 'i love you' to everyone - do you not think it dilutes the meaning of what it really means to love another. what i love about nature is that it throws bad things at you too and yet the love stays. is turbulent and from that love grows. obvoiusly we cannot love each other as we don't know each other! do not know if we could love each other unconditionaly [well not all of us anyway know each other offline]. don't mean to be negative i just find it a bit odd when people say i love you here! just a thought. i don't like people saying they love me when i know they don't. maybe it is an online forum thing. i care about you all. but love, well i don't know you guys face to face (apart from two of you and even then we are not close friends to whom i would feel right saying that sacred word). [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
[> Subject:  Re: ' i love you'
|
|
|
Author: Blackhawk [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15/01/07 15:44 I think the real question here is : why would somebody have such an issue with others spreading words and expressions of love? Love IS something one can feel for somebody one has never met - because love is something given, and can be given to those we choose at any time. If I tell a person I love them, it means that I am 'giving' them love, that I am reacting in a positive and loving manner towards them, for whatever reason. It can be that I have some sense of an aspect of their personality through words and sentiments expressed here, or it could be that I am generous enough to offer love to all unless an individual proves themselves unworthy of such a gift. Love IS sacred, and as such, should be spread far and wide, that all should taste a little of this divine sentiment. It should not be hoarded and analysed, kept only for the select few. Love is for giving freely, and in the giving we find ourselves drawn closer to the Divine. To give love without expecting anything in return, to give love unconditionally because WE choose to do so, is one of the most beautiful things there is. No offence Sweetsong, but your words ("i don't like people saying they love me when i know they don't") seem to be not only a barrier to receiving love, but an insult to those who would offer love freely only to find their gift discarded. Of course, this is only my humble opinion, but I feel that you may have an issue with accepting love from others. If I am wrong, then please accept my heartfelt apologies, but if I am right, then just know that the Garden is a wonderful place to talk freely should you feel the need. The people here are, for the most part, truly wonderful, and there really is a whole lot of love flying around. With love. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15/01/07 16:19 i think love is a behavior and it matters less what someone feels more than what they do. you can say you love someone but would you care for them if they were ill, would you sacrifice for them or translate that feeling into action? if not love is just words, ideals. i think people can act lovingly which we all should but to love someone is to accept them fully. when one has experienced someone saying i love you and then acting in the oppposite way you realise that love is something that can be felt to please you but also not given properly. love can be used to hide and to defend horrible actions. i don't have trouble accepting love when i know it is based on the fact i am really loved. if someone does not know me they cannot love me. do you really love me the same way you love your friends you meet in the pub at night. if you do then i feel you are doing your friends a diservice? if smoeone creates a nice feeling in you, you love the feeling but do you love them if they didn't create that feeling? true love would. thanks for replying and speaking out and risking things by saying what you said. i don't have a problem with love i have a problem with idealism. hope i expressed myself ok have taken ages writing this out so it makes sense. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: sam samuel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15/01/07 17:01 dear sweetsong. i realise i am one of the people who says...'i love you guys' a lot in this forum... and in my way i do mean it... i have known a few people personally for a whole lot of years here, and i do genuinley love and respect them, others such as lil, paganwolf, pilgrim etc (sorry for those not mentioned) have handed me a lot of wonderful advice which has helped me through some very extreme and difficult times, and in a way have helped me become a stronger person, and a person who can cope with situations which without them i believe i would have still coped but found it more difficult, and stressful,..... so in the time i have 'known' them, i have grown to respect them and love them in my own way. i am sorry if i offend any body by saying 'i love you' here, but i won't stop saying it as i do genuinely respect people. i feel love is sacred and it should be shared among those who care for each other.... everyone here cares for others here , otherwise they would not be in the garden would they?? i have been helped and given advice by some wonderful people here and i hope i have in turn helped and given advice to those asking here too,... share love, don't block it away from you... accept it and take it as a compliment... and yes to your question, if i needed to look after people i tell i love them when they are ill, i will, those people could be dissabled, blinded, have all manner of things happen to them and i would still love them..... i would still look after them.... be there for them... why not? i am a loving person as are many on this forum and my love goes unconditionally to those wonderful people... i can't say any more than that apart from.... to those who will accept it..... i love you guys. and thanx for all the wonderful things you have said and done to support me over the time i have known you xxxxxxx Sam Spaniel xxxxxxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15/01/07 17:28 I stand by what Blackhawk has said, and agree with Sam - if I say I love someone, then yes, I would help them as best I could, and yes I would care for them if they needed me. Sweetsong, you say 'if someone does not know me...' but how do you define 'knowing you' - there are friends in the Garden who I know in the physical world, and also those who I firmly believe I have met on a different level (during meditation for instance) and who I feel I have 'met' and gotten to 'know' - I feel that there are many different levels of knowing someone... and to have that connection with someone you may not have met 'physically' but still know that they would be there for you if you needed them, know that they really do care about how you are, is a wonderful thing.... I am so happy that the Garden has become a place that folk can relax in and is a place where I have witnessed, and felt, such love and respect for one another. There are some folk who have been with the Garden since it first opened, and although I may not have 'met' these folk in the manner you might deem acceptable, I feel very close to them, and yes, I have love for them. I mean no offence Sweetsong, but it sounds like you have been hurt by someone who you believed loved you. In previous posts you have talked about problems with trusting others, or making friendships - perhaps if you allow yourself to be loved, and allow yourself to love others, you will find your world a happier place. Ripples not only stretch outwards, but also return to the place they originated :) Namaste Whitewolf [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: zenwind (zhenghuo_sarah@yahoo.co.uk) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15/01/07 18:57 Dear singing sweet garden dweller. I imagine love will be conceptualised differently by some of us, felt and experienced differently by others. For those that see life, love, people 'out there' and separate......a sense of 'relation'- ship will come into it. What you are talking about as love is more what I consider friendship......both intertwined of course. Who knows if we mean the same thing when we say the words 'i love you' to another. We can never know that about anything, only the influence of life/people/beings on our hearts and our exchange in the eternal flow of moments. Back to the expression of friendship and the love within that, I think needing the solace and acceptance of people that you feel know well your reality, your deep feelings, your hopes and your dreams within the sphere of your experience is very important for our emotional well being. If you are not getting that right now and therefore feel you aren't being loved genuinely then it is very understandble we are having this conversation...... Feel free to drop me an e mail off list...... zenwind [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16/01/07 16:25 All I know is that when I have asked for help, I can feel the love comming in, from the people in the garden. Sometimes during the day (even if I haven't asked for help) I can feel that someone here has sent me loving thoughts. When I stretch out in spirit and make contact I feel a vibration that can only be described as love. I know I am loved by people here. I can feel it. I know I love people here and hope they can feel it. The english language is limited but love is not. So I think what happens is we try to put such a huge all encompassing thing like love, into a tiny four letter box and it doesn't always fit just right. But when you feel it, it makes sense. Pilgrim [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: Permandi [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16/01/07 20:37 I love the Garden and everything in and about it and that includes all the people here. Ok, I have never met any of you although I have a bit more personal contact with Whitewolf.This sight has kept me sane in the past, especially recently with my deppresion. I don't really have any Pagan pals, which I find quite lonely at times.I have asked several 'daft' questions and have always been given sensible and helpful answers. To me I have some great friends here which I value highly. Thanks all of you. Permandi x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: heather [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16/01/07 21:13 When i say "i love you guys" i am sending out a feeling with my words, i feel a connection with the people in the garden. Everyone here has given me so much. I used to feel weird about saying i love you to some people other than my family members. I was in a situation when i was younger where i knew i felt so strongly for this person, i loved him, not in a sexual way but a real deep connected feeling....he touched my soul. He gave me a lot emotionally even though he was dying of cancer. When he died i wished that i had told him i loved him, i hope that he knew i did. After that i decided that whenever i felt a rush of that same feeling or a feeling of closeness to anyone i would tell them and hug them if i could, life is too short to analyse everything...its what i feel and what i say when i feel it, its a hug in words. I love you all in the garden, you have soothed my soul so many times, made me laugh out loud and even brought a tear to my eye, thank you so much. Who knows what love really means, there are so many different kinds of love, and does it really matter? Big hugs and bright blessings, love heather.xxxxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16/01/07 21:54 sweetsong love is what we want it to be. the love we share with everyone is a different type of love than that, that we give to that someone special. the love that everyone here in the garden has sent me has really helped me a lot. although we dont know each other, it shows that we can care about one another and understand what we have all been through. I want to thank EVERYONE here in the garden for all there love and support, as me and my (ex) are talking agian. thank you all love, lite and Rainbows. Newy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16/01/07 22:36 so happy for you newy!!!! heppy loving, peacefull thoughts making their way to you xx sam x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17/01/07 13:27 it is a different thing showing someone love, acting with love and loving someone because you are prepared to stand by them through thick and thin for always. for me love is like that which i give my siblings and my parents and will my children. always. i think the words 'i love you' can suggest a devotion. perhaps not among spiritual pagans but in the outside world away from that. it is why you don't say 'i love you' to a new boyfriend until you are SURE you can be dedicated to them!!!!! i just want you to realise that it isn't just me that thinks like this. it is pretty common in life. if i was to tell most of the friends I have that i love them it would be very inappropriate and could end up putting divisions in my way or them avoiding me in future or having them think they owe me something. the only person i knew here briefly was zenwind we are colleagues who worked on a project together. i think she (you) are great zenwind and inspiring and one of the most mature people i have met. but it would be wrong of me to say i love you even though you are great and very loveable. i don't love you like my siblings or parents and as such when i moved to a diferetn place we were in less contact and that was OK. if i had said i loved you then you could have got hurt when you realised my love was in name only. i think i am going to leave this forum as in the world i live in life just doesn't work this way here. if it did i would be fine!!!!! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: Lilly from the Valley [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17/01/07 15:21 Dont walk away sweetsong Whatever our differences of opinion here in the Garden, there is a place for everyone. We are all different in many ways but we have a common respect and understanding for each other. This includes you. I have never known a more welcoming place and we would miss you if you didnt come and talk to us anymore. Its life that not everyone will agree with you but that doesnt mean that you shouldnt continue talking to them, as long as things are discussed in a sensible, grown up way like here in the Garden. No one thinks badly of you because you have a different view of love. As Newy says, love is whatever YOU want it to be. By all means share your thoughts but at the end of the day its what you believe and feel that really matters. Stay true to your beliefs but keep an open mind - we all have an opinion and it would be a dull world if we all had the same thoughts and feelings. Please keep in touch. Lil [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: zenwind [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17/01/07 19:36 Sweetsong, Please stay! You're a cool lady and I very much hope you stick around. "which is why you don't say 'i love you' to a new boyfriend until you are SURE you can be dedicated to them" The word 'Love' is a very loaded term for many, means different things to different people and in different contexts. I admire how caring you are in that you don't want to give someone the wrong impression of your feeling for them. Some people do have expectations attached to those words and can get hurt that way. I think the feeling of romance or lust can also be mistaken as love. Many of us long to be loved for 'real' by that special soulmate, many of us fear that the 'true' love we have may be withdrawn somehow at a moments notice, while others feel love is within us and can never be removed or given as we are all that love itself! And many shades in between all that! tee hee. I cannot even adequately describe what I mean when I use the term love. The experience of wisdom is another one I haven't the words for. For most of my most 'meaningful' experiences in life, there just aren't the words available! Language just can't explain it. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Labels just can't quite say what happens in the tin. namaste zenwind [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18/01/07 0:39 I'm sorry you feel this way sweetsong, and I hope you choose not to leave the Garden - as Lil said, we all have different opinions, (we're all individuals) which just makes life more colourful and interesting :) "for me love is like that which i give my siblings and my parents and will my children. always." As Zenwind and others have said, Love means different things for different people - as does family for me. I have a very small 'blood-family', and for me family transcends blood and DNA. I have 'soul-brothers / sisters' who I would extend the same level and kind of love as you might to your 'blood-family.' There is no right or wrong here sweetsong - but please don't close yourself off from the possibility of love. Namaste whitewolf [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18/01/07 4:28  [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18/01/07 14:30 so how do you get over the fact that there are people you love more? how is that possible? you love your best friend more? you love your boyfriend more? love is still something that is given in measured supply. you have a soul sister white wolf here in spaniel for example. there are levels of love on this board then higher and lower. zenwind you once talked of your dharma brothers and sisters in your buddhist sangha. do you not love them more? see i don't see how that works. i am always the least loved sister and daughter. does this mean there is any love at all there if you can limit the supply? if so love is just another way of ranking people. i don't want to do that. maybe that is why i am scared of loving. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> Subject:  Re: ' i love you'
|
|
|
Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19/01/07 2:54 You make many assumptions sweetsong - please remember we are all individuals, with different experiences and different opinions. For me, love is not something 'measured' or a method of 'ranking,' and I doubt that anyone could adequately define the term love... it is beyond words. Perhaps it is a connection / a feeling / a belief system all of its own even... but it is certainly beyond mere words. Why does love need to be limited? I'm sorry that you feel you are 'the least loved sister and daughter' - please don't let this feeling block yourself in / shut yourself off. It's a clichéd expression (but like so many 'clichés' there's a lot of truth in it) : "You have nothing to fear, but fear itself" Love yourself sweetsong, open yourself up to the beauty of giving and receiving love. I promise you it's worth it. Blessings whitewolf [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19/01/07 10:51 thankyou whitewolf. my whole life i am made to feel second best. second best as a friend, second best as a daughter, second best as a sister, second best at being a colleague, second best at being someone a person wants to live with, second best housemate. never the number one. perhaps the people i have known because they are not spiritual and are materalists do not realise people are not things with a certain value. sorry zenwind are you cross you did not reply yet you replied to others? i can get possessive sometimes and got in a hump when i felt i was not as cool as some of the poeple you are friends with. it was all my problems.please dont be mad. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: zenwind [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19/01/07 21:55 Friend sweetsong, Banish the thought - I was not cross one bit. deep bow zenwind [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: heather [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19/01/07 23:34 Hey sweetsong, you are number one sweetsong here and we love you for being you. Hugs and bright blessings, love heather.xxxxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 21/01/07 16:05 dearest sweetsong. as i think most people have said, everyone here is an individual, and everyone feels differently about the way they give or recieve love to/from others...... never put yourself down honwy and don't let others do it either... you are never second place!!! everyone here in the garden comes first to each other!! (even you!!!) we are always there for each other, when needed we are all only the click of your mouse away, please, never forget that.... whatever you chose to do, stay or go, please take care of yourself, put yourself first sometimes and your feelings first, i get the idea (and i may be wrong) that some of your friends are willing to 'take' but not give back!! if you know what i mean? (i can be confusing at times lol) one of the things i live by these days is ...learn not to take critisism personally... it took a long time to learn to (not ) do, but it works in you learning to become stronger and begin to appreciate yourself and open up to yourself a little more... then maybe you can accept feelings from others a little easier.. please, take it easy on yourself sweetsong (and what a beautiful name !) love Sam xxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 22/01/07 9:54 thank you i am so happy inside now.xxxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: Mel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 23/05/07 17:13 I can undesrtand being suspicious of people throwing around love in some circles. What many people describe as love especialy people who fall in and out out of it is more strong liking - often in the begginning of relationships! In my opinion Love is not an emotion. But there is a feeling of the divine (I reached it adminttedly at first through LSD) but subsequently elsewhere that is to me LOVE and it flows through towards others with no preference. Sometimes it is mixed with the human emotion, usually so. I think a lot of us here know abuot that Sweetsong. Some call this experience of the divine or awareness as god, others are clearly calling it Love, others: goddess, divine, buddha nature, dharmakaya maybe??? Pure true love is wonderful, it flows through and is incredible, transformative and we need more of it! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: ' i love you' | |
|
Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 1/06/07 12:47 Yay for you mel!! we do need more love in this world, and it's great to spread the feeling of happiness to enlighten others!! blessings love Sam x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |