Re: my "place" at the table -- pounds and inches

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Subject: Re: my "place" at the table

Author:
Chocolate

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Date Posted: 00:34:21 08/22/05 Mon
In reply to: bittersweet 's message, "my "place" at the table" on 16:48:44 08/21/05 Sun

Hi,

I fully understand that you feel completely denied (is that the right word) and that you feel like there is no room for you at the family table.
Ofcourse i cannot look into your mothers head but maybe it is so that your mom cannot understand what to do with you. She might really not know how to handle your ed, she probably did not forget about you but just doesnt know what to do with you. It is really hard for people to understand ed's when they dont have one. She might have heard that she shouldnt force you to eat because that only makes it worse and she might have figured that this is the best way to do this. Your mom is probably very worried about you, she might not be able to deal with the fact that you say no to food and does not want to be confronted with it. In most parents opinion, they cannot stand there and watch their kid fade away.
I understand you feel bad but the only way to solve this is to talk about it. Do not blame your mom but you can tell her how you feel. She might get defensive but if she does it is only because she cares.
What I do and what really works for me is: I sit at the table every night with my hub. Even if I dont eat, I do not have to eat, there is no pressure, but I do have to sit there with a plate in front of me and I have to try. If it doesnt work its okay too, but I am at the table. Maybe you can try to make a similar deal.

With this story I am definately not saying your mom is right, because this is obviously not good for you, and I completely understand that you feel horrible about it. But I dont believe your mom does this to hurt you, I think she is completely lost and feels totally helpless while she does not want you to get hurt or die.

I really hope you can solve this.

Chocolate

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: my "place" at the table	bittersweet	14:27:20 08/22/05 Mon
Re: my "place" at the table -- lara, 15:39:43 08/22/05 Mon Re: my "place" at the table -- bittersweet, 16:21:56 08/23/05 Tue Re: my "place" at the table -- lara, 20:42:50 08/23/05 Tue