| Subject: Re: major mia (sorry long post) |
Author:
lara
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Date Posted: 14:24:39 03/27/05 Sun
In reply to:
fran
's message, "major mia (sorry long post)" on 10:29:57 03/27/05 Sun
Fran, I want to help you! But I feel the problem is that you are confusing self-image with body-image. In that sense we are all alike: we weigh our worth by the number on the scale. Please don't think that wanting to have "self-control" is the same as wanting to be ana; because having an ed is something that robs you of your happiness and your life, and eating 400 calories a day would not fix the problem. I think that somehow you, we, need to seperate what we think of ourselves from what we eat. The one thing that has helped me eat well in the past is thinking of food as medicine: Try thinking of your meals as things that you need to do for yourself, things that are good for your metabolism and your body.
I really hope that you feel better soon...
and please know that you have support here...
lara
>Hi. I'm not sure how this post will be taken. I know
>a lot of you are ana, and mia doesn't get mentioned
>much. All I can say is please don't judge me harshly
>- I'm doing that myself. I'm reading posts about
>people eating 400 calories a day. I truly wish I was
>them. I've just worked out the number of calories
>I've eaten this afternoon, and I quit at 10,000. Ok,
>so I purged, but a percentage of those calories will
>have been absorbed, which is why I'm 15 pounds heavier
>than I was 3 weeks ago. I don't know how it happened,
>but I've completely lost control. I feel like a fraud
>on this board because I'm not thin - in fact I'm
>getting closer and closer to overweight. I'm doing
>the sensible things - not fasting, exercising, keeping
>busy, etc, but there seems to be an irresistible force
>pulling me towards food. In other ways my life is
>improving so much - i'm working, not spending all my
>life in hospital, not cutting (much), doing things
>with friends. Why has my eating gone haywire? I'm
>trying to do a self-help programme. I start each day
>determined, but by mid-afternoon, all sense of reason
>has gone. I think i've proved my strength of
>character by still being alive after the past few
>years. Surely i can beat this? Anyone out there
>having similar experiences, please say. Rationally, i
>know being thin isn't worth this - my teeth are
>rotting, i constantly throw up blood, i go dizzy, i
>can't eat without feeling sick whether i like it or
>not, and - final irony - i'm not even thin. I've
>never had enough sympathy with addicts - now i find i
>am one. I always thought that if you just had enough
>self-control... Anyway, like i said, please don't
>judge me, and please, someone out there say you know
>what is happening to me and that there's a way out.
>Sorry for the long post.
>fran
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