Subject: hello my dear friends |
Author:
ele
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Date Posted: 06:39:35 05/24/02 Fri
hello everybody, it's a very long time since i last wrote to you guys, and it seems like a long time since we last met.... even though it's merely two months...
yes, i can testify that it has been a very intensive year for the two of you, and i have learnt a lot from it even though i was merely an 'observer' of the whole 'drama'....
human beings, or should i say all sentient beings, are 'queer' entities... so much driven by our hormones and neuro-chemistry, but what's the most frightening is that a lot of our decisions are made based on those passional/irrational moments....
today, i have been feeling rather moody and depressed. i know very well why it is the case - my period is going to come soon - yet the realisation of it doesn't stop my emotions from being unstable....
today, i have been thinking a lot about the meaning/mission of my life... sigh... those questions have haunted me for decades, but i haven't asked those questions for over two years already, and now they are coming back to me, and i know that it's more than some simple philosophical investigation, it's a sign of my old friend - melancholy - coming back to me....
i then think about why i feel this way again. and the answer seems silly, superficial, yet true - i think i start feeling homesick again for being in this kind of indefinitely long self-imposed exile......
anyway, i don't want to burden you on my stupid emotions, but i feel better bursting them out.
anyway, got to go back to do some work.
i miss you all.
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