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Date Posted: 12:25:53 10/29/02 Tue
Author: Tester
Subject: Testing




TRICK-OR-TREAT!


By Katherine and Lu

It was a dark and stormy night. There was a stench in the air that woke the dead. No, wait, that was Canrane’s sneakers. Yes, this is the story of C & Canrane’s Halloween adventure!

“Owwwwwww…..” said the wind.
“Owwwwwww…..” it moaned.
“Owwwwwww!!!! Stop pulling my hair!”

Lu: AIIIGHHHHH! That was the WIND???? “Katherine! I TOLD you I didn’t want to do a Halloween story! It’s a horrible holiday.”

Katherine: “Oh would you HUSH! Here. Have a Clark Bar.”

Lu: “This is a mistake, this is a mistake, this is a ...”

~SWACK!~

Lu: “Uhhhhhh…. Uhhhh…… Mr. Pup Pup, is that you?”

Katherine: “CONTINUING!”

Canrane: “C, if you want to dress up as Lt. FrankenSinger, I need to get the bun tight”

C: “OK, OK. Just don’t pull it so hard.”

Canrane: “Oooof! Almooooost dooone Ooof! THERE! Got it!”

~C. turns around and faces Canrane~

Canrane (and Lu): “AAAAAIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!” ~THUD~

Katherine kicking Lu: “Get. UP!”

Lu: “Uhhhhh…….”

~Katherine kicks Lu harder.~

Lu: “Owwww…..I’m trying…Uhhhh…~weakly~…Did we ever date?”

Katherine: “Oh, for the love of Mike! Get up you idiot!”

~Lu crawls to her feet swaying back and forth. She begins to fall again but stops when Katherine gives her a black look~

Lu: “I’m fine! I’m good!”

~Katherine rolls her eyes. “CONTINUING!!!”

C helping Canrane up: “Well, what’s wrong w/ YOU!”

Canrane: “It’s just that … your… EYES are on TOP of you HEAD now! GACK!”

C: “I was WONDERING why the chandelier was horizontal from the wall and the floor had pictures!”

Canrane: “Perhaps we should loosen it just a tad?”

~Both agree. After completing this chore, the duo checks the full-view mirror to make sure they look their parts~

C: “Hang on—your collar is amuss.”

~C straightens Canrane’s collar~

Canrane: “Thanks.”

C: “No problem. You look really good as the Round Robin version of Tiner. I just LOVE your idea of wearing the shoes backward so your feet point behind you! Hmmm…(giving Canrane one last look over)...Here, let me just draw a few more stitch marks on your face...There. I think we’re ready. Let’s move out!”

~The gals grab their pillowcases, cans of shaving cream, cartons of eggs, toilet paper and silly string and head out for an evening of trick-or-treating~

~First stop: North of Union Station~

Ding Dong

~A stunning figure answers the door—in a piratey shirt and tight pants~

In Unison: “Trick or Treat!”

Harm: “Come in, come in...let’s see...who are you two supposed to be?”

C: “We’re Lt. FrankenSinger and Round Robin Tiner.”

Harm: “Who?”

Canrane: “Nevermind. Give us candy.”

Harm: “Here you go.”

C: “Whoa, what the HECK is this??? It looks like...meatloaf???? What a ripoff!”

Harm: “Yeah, it’s my famous ‘meatless’ meatloaf. Take it or leave it. I’m a little busy right now, so...”

~C and Canrane peer around the corner to see someone blindfolded w/hands tied behind their back~

Canrane: “JOYCE???? Is that you???”

Joyce: “Wha...who’s there?”

C: “It’s C and Canrane...what are you doing here???”

Joyce: “Ummmm.. I’m ummmm…bobbing for apples?”

~C and Canrane look at each other, eyebrows raised ~

C: “OK, see you later.”

~Door shuts~

C: “Well, that was odd.”

Canrane: “I’ll say. Did you bring the toilet paper? ‘Cause I’m thinkin’ this sure was no ‘treat’!”

C: “No. No! I’m a teacher! I can’t be caught toilet papering an apartment!”

Canrane: “Who says we’re gonna get caught! Gimme the eggs!”

C: “Canrane! I don’t think we should...”

Canrane: “Look. I have been KILLING myself studying. I want a sugar high. I NEED a sugar high. I do NOT need meatless meatloaf glopped in my pillowcase! How am I gonna sleep on that tonight????? And WHAT was that little scene w/ JOYCE???”

C: “Well you see she was bobbing for apples and…”

Canrane: “Oh right. She’s in Harm’s apartment. He’s dressed like a pirate. And they’re bobbing for apples. Yes. I’m sure.”

C: “Well, what ELSE would they be doing?”

~Canrane rolls her eyes and leaves the building, unceremoniously dumping the meatless meatloaf onto the nearest bush~

~Off they march to Georgetown~

Ding Dong

~A voice from inside yells “Coming”~

~Door opens~

In Unison: “Trick or Treat!”

Mac: “Well hello there. You two look great! Who are you supposed to be?”

C: “We’re Lt. FrankenSinger and Round Robin Tiner.”

Mac: “Oh...OK...hmmm...I’m not familiar with those characters, but here, have a Beltway Burger.”

Canrane: “Gee...thanks...whatever happened to CANDY???”

~C, after taking a bite of the burger, gets a glimpse of a man sitting on the sofa~

C: “Marco, what are YOU doing here???”

Marco: “Well...I was out trick-or-treating w/SD, Gary, and Peter and...well...I twisted my ankle. I told them to go on w/ out me. I didn’t want to spoil their fun!”

Canrane: “My word—are you OK?”

~Marco’s face becomes flushed~

Marco: “Yes, I’m fine! wink Just feeling a little weak. wink I think I should stay here just a little longer.” winkwinkwink

C: “NONSENSE! We can take you home, Marco! We go right past your place! Here. Let me help you up. By the way, did you also hit your head? You seem to be having trouble w/ one of your eyes!”

~Marco clutches couch, trying in vain to signal C he does NOT want to leave~

~Puzzled, C heaves ho and finally loosen’s Marco’s grip. They fall in a heap onto the floor just as Mac comes back w/ a bag of ice~

Mac: “WHOA! Excuse me, but this is my apartment. You two need to take that home!”

Marco: “ No! Wait! I can explain. I BARELY KNOW HER!!!!”

~Mac pushes them all out the door~

~Slam! Click!~

~Whilst Canrane oozes shaving cream under the apartment door, Marco glowers at C~

C (happily): “Oh Marco! You seem much BETTER now! Look, Canrane! See how he is jumping up and down? His leg seems completely healed!”

~Marco glowing bright red. Steam comes from his ears, nose, and mouth~

C: “Marco! That is REMARKABLE! WHERE did you get those special effects????”

~Canrane grabs C and runs for a car, locking the doors just as Marco catches up to them~

C (trying to unlock door): “Wait, Canrane! Marco needs a ride!”

~Canrane hotwires the engine and zooms off, thankful for child door locks~

~C waves goodbye to Marco~

C: “I think he really wanted a ride, Canrane. I can still see him. See, he appears to be ‘signing’ to us. Canrane, can you read sign language? What does ‘this’ mean?”

~C holds up hand and begins adjusting fingers~

~Slaps C’s hand down~

Canrane: “Just don’t worry about it, O.K”

C: “Well, o.k….. Ummm… Canrane? Who’s car is this?”

Canrane: “Well, since Lu started writing this part, she has had us in Mac’s, Harm’s, and now an anonymous one. She didn’t remember we are supposed to be WALKING until NOW!”

~Katherine swacks Lu~

Lu: “Owww! OK, OK...I’ll fix it!!! Sheesh!”

~POOF!~

~While walking along toward VA...~

Canrane: “This has to be my worst Halloween experience yet.”

C: “REALLY? Huh. I’m having a great time! Well. Look at it this way...It can only get better. I mean, surely, SOMEONE will give us candy.”

Canrane: “I sure hope so C.”

~They arrive in Rosslyn, VA~

C: “Are you SURE we have the right address?”

Canrane: “Beats me.”

Ding Dong

Canrane: “There had BETTER be candy here. I’m telling you...”

C: “Trust me.”

~Canrane rolls eyes~

~Door opens~

Harriet: “Well hello there kids. Who do we have here this evening?”

Canrane ~pushing past Harriet and into living room~ “I’m Round Robin Tiner and she’s Lt. FrankenSinger.”

Harriet: “Hmmmm...interesting. BUD, we have Trick-or-Treaters.”

Bud: ~grabbing bowl full of treats~ “Well, come on in. Let’s see here...”

Canrane: “Listen buster...do you have candy in that bowl, or what?”

C: ~Gives Canrane a SWACK!~ “Don’t be so rude!”

Canrane: “Well, I’m getting hungry!”

Bud: “No, I don’t have any candy. I’m on a diet and Harriet thought it would be best not to have it around the house.”

C: “Makes sense.”

Canrane: “Awwww man...”

Bud: “But, I do have apples. Here you go.”

~Bud places apples in pillowcases~

~Canrane stares into pillowcase in disbelief~

Canrane: “Gee, thanks. Got any caramel to go w/that? Wait a minute…What’s that red paper sticking out from your pocket?”

~Bud hastily slaps his hand to his pockets, pushing contents further inside~

Canrane: “HEY! I saw that! That was a CANDY wrapper!”

Bud: “No, no. You were mistaken. That was just baby A.J.’s ninny. No candy here!”

Canrane: “A.J. has a PAPER ninny? And what about the WRITING?”

Bud: “ That was his name. He has monogrammed ninnies.”

Canrane: “Then why did it say, ‘CLARK’? EMPTY THOSE POCKETS MISTER!!!”

Bud: “NO!”

Canrane (trying to get into Bud’s pants): “Give. Me. That. Candy!!! ”

~Harrient reenters room~

~Everyone freezes~

~C looks at Canrane, Canrane looks at C. Bud looks at Harriet. Harriet pulls out her service revolver~

~ Canrane and C run screaming from the building~

C: “Well, we’re making progress.”

Canrane: “Progress! We were nearly KILLED!”

C (retrieving apple from her pillow case): “Well, at least ‘this’ is edible.”

~Takes big bite~

C: “Canrane? What’s worse then finding a worm in your apple?”

Canrane: “I don’t know, C. What’s worse?”

C: “Finding a HALF a worm!!!! GACK!”

~ Canrane rolls her eyes, pulls out her silly string and sprays it all over the front steps~

C: “I wish you’d stop with the tricks.”

Canrane: “I just want some candy. Is that too much to ask on the holiday created SPECIFICALLY for obtaining sugary snacks?????”

C: “Come on. We’re almost done.”

~They hitchhike to McLean~

Ding Dong

C: “I have a good feeling about this stop.”

~Door opens~

Canrane: “MICHELLE???—what on earth???”

C: “Oh great. Michelle beat us to the candy.”

Michelle: “Hi. What are you two supposed to be?”

C: “I’m Lt. FrankenSinger.”

Canrane: “And I’m Round Robin Tiner. Give us CANDY!”

~Canrane has begun to sound a tad like Adam Sandler~

Michelle: “Who?...Sorry, we’re all out of candy, but AJ’s making some wonderful rissotto. Care to have some?”

~Canrane goes for Michelle’s throat~

Michelle: “Aauuuggghhhh...help! Aaaccckkkk!”

AJ: “What the he...??? Hey—take your hands off her. NOW!”

~Canrane complies~

AJ: “What’s going on here?”

C: “Well, you see, Sir, we just wanted some candy and...”

AJ: “We’re out of candy.”

Michelle: “I tried to tell them, but then this one went ballistic!”

AJ: “I’ll ask you two once to leave.”

~Girls dejectedly walk down porch steps~

~Canrane lobs rolls of toilet paper into trees. Ribbons of the white sheets come raining down upon the branches~

C: “Great Canrane. Just great!”

Canrane: “ME???? What are you blaming ME for...they should have had candy. SOMEONE MUST HAVE CANDY!!!!!”

C: “We could stop at 7-11.”

Canrane: “We could, but then what’s the point?”

C: “Wait...I have an idea...follow me.”

Canrane: “Like I have a choice!”

Ding Dong

Voice from inside: “Coming...hang on.”

Canrane: “This better work C. Remind me NEVER to go trick-or-treating with you again.”

C: “Just hang in there.”

~A man answers the door~

“Well hello there...hey...LOVE your costumes! Honey...come here...you HAVE to see these two!”

~C and Canrane look at each other and shrug~

“Oh my goodness!” exclaims a female voice. “What creative costumes!”

C: “Don’t you want to know who we are?”

Male voice: “Well, let me see...you’re Lt. FrankenSinger...”

Female voice: ~points to Canrane~ “And you’re Round Robin Tiner.”

~C almost faints. Canrane looks at tavern board on porch wall~

Canrane: “Oh no...C...look at this!”

~C looks and reads aloud~

“Welcome to the home of P.O. Tiner and Lt. Singer.”

C: “OH MY GOSH!!!!!”

Tiner: “That’s right. We’ve been together for over a year now. But, we’re trying to keep it quiet around the office, so if you don’t mind...”

Canrane: “Oh, no problem. Our lips are sealed.”

C: “Yeah, what she said.”

Singer: “What’s wrong?”

C: “Nothing...why do you ask?”

Singer: “Well, your faces went white and...honey...I think they need sugar.”

Tiner: “Oh...yes...where are my manners...here you go. Happy Halloween!”

~Canrane (again) stares into pillowcase and her eyes start to well up. There, all alone in the sack, sits a SUPERSIZE MILKY WAY CANDY BAR~

Canrane: “Oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!”

~She gives Tiner a paralyzing bear hug~

Singer: ~looking puzzled~ “Um...you’re welcome...”

C & Canrane: “Thank you!!!!”

As they merrily skip down the walk, much giggling can be heard. Canrane musters up all her energy to shout:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!


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