<i>I'm lost in myself and afraid of who I really am.</i> -- Realistic Dreams : The Present : The New Home V.2

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Date Posted: 19:32:59 10/10/05 Mon
Author: Travis
Subject: I'm lost in myself and afraid of who I really am.
In reply to: Joey/Lysia 's message, "Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe your gone...
It's ain't fair you died to young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows that I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder...
Who you'd be today " on 19:18:01 10/10/05 Mon

He was at work - his white fitted tee covered in paint and his faded work jeans splattered fittingly with the rich red that he was applying to the main den of a mansion when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He couldn't do anything for a little while though - had to finish up the coat that he was working on before he could wipe any still went paint in his hands and dig into his pocket. His phone tucked between his shoulder and ear, he was packing up some of his things as he waited for the message to play, but froze as soon as he heard Joey's panicked voice. In a rush, he flipped his phone shut and slipped it back into his pocket before bolting from the job - grabbing as much of his things as he could in one trip, but leaving the rest and not getting a chance to say goodbye to his client. He floored the big white company van that he drove for work the whole drive through town to the more poverty-stricken side, and slammed the vehicle into park and jogged up the path to the door. He knocked first but then pushed in the unlocked door, looking around. "Joey?!" No one else was around though, so he sprinted up the stairs - taking them too at a time. "Joey!"

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He looked up, still holding Lysia close to him as the door opened, tears running down his face. His eyes were tortured, his head shaking as he rocked her body in his arms as if he could comfort her even though she was gone. "I don't know...I don't know what happened..I just came up to get her to eat..and...and..." He shook his head, burying his face in her hair as he held her tighter. He didn't know what to do, who to call, who to tell, he couldn't think of any of that right now. All he could think was that his beautiful little Lysia, so full of sass and pride...she was gone. (NT) -- Joey, 19:37:41 10/10/05 Mon

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