Create a New Forum Admin Login Member Login Contribute to Voyager Search VoyForums Help Desk VoyForums Exchange VoyForums Directory/Categories VoyForums Homepage VoyForums News FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

• She was still sitting on the edge of her bed where he'd left her, legs swung out over the side, hands gripping the corner of the mattress so that she had nearly colorless knuckles. Her dark hair was mussed and she was wearing a tank top and a pair of boycut underwear. More than anything, she looked like a lost little girl -- that's what she certainly felt like right now. She felt completely to blame. Shuffling her feet against the shoddy tile on the floor, she looked up when he opened the door, taking the bag from him, and staying where she was for a couple of minutes. She wanted to apologize, but she knew she'd spend the rest of her life apologizing to herself and him, and the baby, whether she killed it or not. "I guess we had better get this over with then." She rose to her feet with little conviction. (NT) -- Astrid, 22:31:43 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• "I'll be here." He stated calmly, only the slight clench of his jaw gave away his tense state. He handed over the bag willingly before he crossed over to the window and yanked it open, letting in some air before he lit up a cigarette and turned his dark eyes out over the view. He had to much going through his mind to talk about any of it at the moment, even with her. (NT) -- Armani, 22:33:49 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• She looked at him, pensive a moment before she stole away -- it was still pretty early, most of the other occupants of the house had not even stirred yet -- that was just their way. When you didn't have to get up at a certain hour to make sure you had food in your belly from the kitchen before they closed it, or have any particular schedule to follow, you enjoyed your sleep, and she had too, until she'd started getting sick. She tiptoed to the bathroom, opening the rumpled bag and staring at the box numbly for a moment before she ripped it open, proceeding with the test, and propping herself on the closed toilet seat for the allotted time before she checked the result, her mouth settling into a firm line as she threw the package et al in the trash and headed back to the room. (NT) -- Astrid, 22:37:28 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• He had just started on his third cigarette when he heard the door open. He didn't look back though, just absently ashed the cigarette into the can next to him and waited for her to speak. Since she didn't immediatly, he already assumed that the test had come back positive. His stomach tightened at the thought, his head tipping as he tried to just calm himself enough to think rationally. (NT) -- Armani, 22:44:07 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• She wasn't sure why she'd brought the test in, maybe just to prove that she wasn't crazy and staging this whole thing.. that still didn't take the blame away from her. She sighed a little, looking down at the stick in her fingers, the corners of her lips turned down a little bit, scalding tears pushing at the backs of her corneas, but she held them back -- this wasn't supposed to happen, no crying, never let them see you're weak or they'll come in for the kill, and she'd already exhibited more than enough weakness in front of Armani. She took a deep, shuddering breath, saying the already obvious. "It's positive." She had to bite her lower lip to keep from going on. He didn't want anything to do with this, so she wasn't going to involve him any further than this. (NT) -- Astrid, 22:48:32 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• He sighed softly, flicking the cigarette out the window before he finally turned to look at her. His fingers reached out to take the stick, looking down at it - not that he didn't believe her he just wanted to see it for himself. Without thinking of it, his eyes dropped down to her flat stomach before he looked back up to her, swallowing a touch. Tossing the stick onto the desk, he ran his hand over his head before he spoke, his voice thick and gravelly. "So what do we do?" (NT) -- Armani, 22:52:55 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• No matter how many times she had told herself, when she'd started sleeping with him and when she'd started suspecting that there was a little human growing inside of her, that she would 'take care of it', and have an abortion, it was hard to say that outright. Now that the moment was actually on them and the test proved positive, she felt paralyzed with.. maybe it was emotion? Or maybe just flat out fear. She was just a kid, and she wasn't as strong as she liked to let on. Pursing her lips for a moment, her eyes glued to the stick, riveted on that little piece of plastic that determined her fate, she cleared her throat and finally looked up to meet his eyes. "What do you want to do?" She asked only to humor him, it was, ultimately her body, and in the end she knew he would never be a father for the baby if she kept it, so it was more a question of novelty than seriousness. (NT) -- Astrid, 22:57:24 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• He shrugged a touch, his eyes on her serious and dark. "You already told me it wasn't my decision, didn't you?" His voice was a little bitter but he tried not to let that show so much. It was hard to know that a parent didn't want a kid after it was born, it was even harder to know a parent was so against having the child that they would kill it. He already knew she would make her own decision though so he didn't try to voice his opinion, it was a useless battle. (NT) -- Armani, 22:59:52 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• She felt a little stung by the bitterness in his voice -- yes, she had more or less told him he had no real choice here, but she had been protecting her own heart more than anything. "I respect what you have to say though, Armani. But I don't have any big grand illusions that I'm ever going to even see you again after we leave this place. I don't have these big, elaborate dreams that we'll set up an apartment and you'll have a regular job and when the baby gets older, I'll go to college and get a career too. We both know that's not how it would play out, 'Mani." She already felt like she had said too much. She made it sound as though she were mourning the loss of those things, like she loved him and it broke her heart not to have those things happened. (NT) -- Astrid, 23:07:16 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• He let out a soft breath, running a hand down his face as he thought over her words. She was right of course, those things probably wouldn't happen but still... "Doesn't seem right to not let the kid have a chance to live because we fucked up." He stated softly, his fingers fidgeting with the lighter in his hand. At the moment, he looked more his age then he ever had, he looked young and unsure. (NT) -- Armani, 23:16:13 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• Her lower lip turned out in the very faintest pout, pondering it -- it was horrible, but she wanted to live too, she wanted to be able to go to college, have a career, make something of herself. She didn't want this for herself forever, or for very much longer, for that matter, and if that was selfish, that was how she would have to be. "I don't think I could survive with a baby on my own, Armani. How is it fair to me or the baby to live in a hokey hole in the wall, barely able to afford milk and basic necessities for the rest of our lives? I want more than anything to let this baby live too, but I'm not convinced that's what it would be doing if I carry it to term." (NT) -- Astrid, 23:19:56 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• "So your just going to kill it then." He stated more then questioned, his eyes going to the window again. Aborting...the word made it sound so much less harsh then it was. It was murder, out and out, and while it wasn't like Armani had a problem with bloodshed but when he made someone bleed, when he caused them pain, it was in retribution for something someone had done. This kid had done anything... (NT) -- Armani, 23:23:06 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• "Do you even realize what you're asking me to do, Armani?" And he wasn't offering to help either, just making her feel continuously guilty. "I get it. This is my fault, but do you really want your baby to grow up that way? I guess it doesn't matter cause you'd never see it anyways, probably would never acknowledge it either.." She sat herself on the edge of the bed again, resuming the position that she'd taken when he'd been gone to the pharmacy. "Unless you're going to sacrifice your life too, then how is it fair for you to ask me to?" She knew he would never assume any responsability for this, she was flogging a dead horse, his picking up the pregnancy test was about as far as his obligation to this situation would go. (NT) -- astrid, 23:28:14 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• He shrugged again, standing up. "Like I said, or you said, whatever, its your decision. You do what you want." He tried to act tough about it, to let the sentance roll out at the same time trying to convince himself to walk away, to walk out of the room and away from the situation and put it behind him. His brow furrowed though as he got halfway across the room, his eyes sliding shut. "I'll take it." The words were spit out, no clarification offered. (NT) -- Armani, 23:37:27 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• "Like hell you will." Her brow furrowed a little bit at that, tipping her head and looking up at him -- she was completely perplexed by the simple fact that he'd said that. "You talk tough now, 'Mani, but you wouldn't survive through the first night." The truth was, as shitty as their existence would be, if anyone was going to raise this child, it would be her -- she couldn't imagine night-time feedings fitting into his considerable.. social calender very well. (NT) -- Astrid, 23:42:17 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• "You don't want it, I don't want you to kill it. Its the most logical option." So he might not be able to handle it on his own...chicks loved guys with kids, he could find someone to help him. He couldn't just let this kid die without a chance at living, it wasn't fair and he wouldn't let it happen. He'd been the cause of enough death in his short life, he wasn't going to add this onto his list of sins to repent for next time he went to mass. (NT) -- Mani, 23:47:44 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• The entire concept was aggitating, she knew exactly how it would go. If the baby was alive, she would never want to be completely erased from it's life.. she couldn't bear the thought of another woman mothering her own offspring. "What happens when you're at the club, wasted, and the baby is at home, crying? What about when she needs fed in the middle of the night and you're busy entertaining some ladies? She's not exactly going to fit into your life, Mani, that's why I wouldn't expect you to have any part in it." She rose, aggitated, and started a tight pace along the side of her bed. (NT) -- Astrid, 23:50:09 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• "So I won't be at the club. I'll be with her. People do it all the time, I could do it." He wasn't sure why he was argueing with her on how he could handle responsibility. He was one of the most responsible people in the world based on the life he led. He never shirked on his duties, never took anything lightly, did everything with his whole being and this would be no different. (NT) -- Mani, 23:53:15 08/13/05 Sat

  ---

• "This isn't the same as knocking off people or doing your duty for your brothers, Mani.. It's not the same." She was out of words to use to battle him with. They'd been up late and she'd been up early, sick, and she was worn out and it was not even nearly ten oclock. This entire situation was stressing her out. "You wouldn't just drop your lifestyle like that." To tell the truth, she was hurt that he would want to take it on on his own and be willing to make sacrifices if he had to raise the baby alone but not to help her out if she raised it. (NT) -- Astrid, 00:02:48 08/14/05 Sun