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Date Posted: 01:34:04 01/20/06 Fri
Author: kennedypratt
Subject: which part is this?

I lost count

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[> part 9 -- kennedypratt, 01:40:37 01/20/06 Fri [1]

I drove home exhausted, wanting to fall into bed. As I pulled up I saw the familiar vehicle; the black Denali with Keith leaning against the door. He crossed his arms and smiled as I parked in the driveway and got out of my truck. I had to admit that he did look damn good even if I was mad at him. He had on his usual jeans and boots with a black tee shirt and a green canvas jacket. But I was in no mood for this, apparently a three hundred dollar bouquet delivered late a night was supposed to fix everything, but it hadn’t. I didn’t smile as I walked up to him.

“Did you get my flowers?” He asked.
“Yeah, I got them.” I replied.
He looked over my shoulder, “where are they?”
“There are in some sick, old woman’s room. She appreciated them more than me.” I said.
“Did you get the card?” He asked.
“I got it alright” I said.
He smiled bigger, “what did you think?”
“Not much, I threw it in the shredder without reading it.” I replied.
The smile dropped from his face, “you did what?” He exclaimed.
“Did I stutter? I said I threw it in the shredder.” I said coldly.
“I can’t believe you! I poured my heart out in that card, I told you everything!”

“You should have told me everything yesterday morning when I was standing right in front of you! Instead you let me walk out and stood there saying nothing.” I yelled. He looked shocked and upset. I walked past him towards the house and he followed close behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder as I reached the door. I winced slightly at his touch; I had wanted him to touch me the last twenty four hours. But I had to be strong.

“Don’t put your hands on me.” I hissed between my clenched teeth. I threw the door open and marched in with him behind me still. He slammed the door behind him as the dogs jumped on both of us.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You throw my card away and now you don’t want me to touch you. Can’t I at least explain what was in the card since you couldn’t be bothered to read it?” He yelled back.

I made my way through the house in my typical morning routine; putting my bag down, setting my phone on the charger, letting the dogs out, feeding them, and looking through the paper. Keith sat on the couch and we continued to yell at each while I went about my activities.
“You don’t care at all”
“You wouldn’t know what caring was if you saw it”
“You don’t want to work this out”
“You don’t know an effing thing about me”
“Obviously not since you claim to care so much and I haven’t seen a trace of it”
“You are so ungrateful”
“Ungrateful? What do I have to be grateful for? A bed? Some flowers? A few meals?”
We said many other awful things to each that I couldn’t remember. I yelled until I was hoarse and out of activities to do.

“I don’t know why you are still here” I said in a froggy voice when I got out of the shower and found him sitting on the bed waiting for me.

He shook his head, “you are so focused on being right you can’t see the truth.”

“Right? What am I right about? Right that I shouldn’t have let you come over? Right that you are just going to break my heart again? It that what you think I’m so focused on?”

“I think you are so focused on hurting me more than I hurt you that you can’t see how much I care about you.” He said.

“I couldn’t possibly hurt you as bad as you’ve hurt me Keith.” I said.

“Oh, you can be amazingly hurtful when you try baby.” He replied.

“This is so pointless, how long are we going to yell at each other here, because I really need some sleep.” Luckily I did not have to work tonight so I could stay up and keep arguing if need be.

“I think it would be better if you got some sleep and then we talked. This is about as useful as talking to you when you are drunk.” He quipped.

“Fine, lock the door on your way out.” I replied.

“I’m not going anywhere until we settle this, I’ll be here when you wake up” He said seriously.
I pondered my options as he walked out of the room. I could probably throw him out myself with some dirty fighting but it seemed like way to much effort. I buried myself under my covers and fell asleep dog-tired.

I woke up and the clock said four thirty PM. I had slept for nearly nine hours. I wondered if Keith was still there. I crept out of bed to the window and parted the blinds. Yep, his truck was still there. I scampered back into bed when I heard his footsteps in the hall. He wasn’t fooled. “Good morning, or should I say good evening.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, setting a cup of coffee on the night stand. I gave him a sneering look. He brushed my hair back gently, “quit giving me that evil look, I trying to be nice.”

I sipped the coffee and put it back down, not enough creamer. I sat up and drew my knees to my chest. “What did you do all day?” I asked.

“I watched TV, ate some of your food, played with the dogs. A couple of you friends called, they were quite chatty.” He smiled.

“Since when do you answer the phone? “I asked.

“It was ringing off the hook; did you know we were on TV?” He said still smiling. “And we are in the Tennessean today.”

He showed me the entertainment section of the paper. It was a short two inch mention with a picture of us leaving the furniture store. I scanned it quickly.

‘While things may have cooled off some with Keith Urban and a certain Hollywood actress, he has certainly heated things up with a Nashville local. Urban and his young friend, who insiders say is a nurse at a local hospital, were seen canoodling on a hammock at her house and then buying furniture the next day. The two appeared quite close at a local restaurant yesterday while they kissed and fed each other during the meal. Kenny Chesney and his date overlooked the spectacle at the same eatery. Urban’s rep would not comment on the situation.’

I put the paper down and pulled the covers up around me.
“So is that true, have things cooled down between you two?” I asked bravely.
He laughed, “Well I guess we can assume they have now.”
I was serious, “Keith, I have to ask, did you want her to see those pictures?”
“I never wanted to hurt anyone, this just happened, I can’t explain it.” He replied.
He continued, “Since we know what happened we have to decide what to do from here.”

I put my shoulders back, “I can’t have this conversation with morning breath and my hair messed up, and let me get dressed first.”

He laughed. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom in typical routine. I brushed my teeth, put my contacts in, and fixed my hair, put on a little makeup. I went into my closet and selected a pair of jeans and a cable knit sweater that showed a little bit of cleavage. I emerged barefoot into the bedroom.

“Okay, now I’m ready.” He was still sitting on the bed and patted the sheet next to him.
“No”, I said, “I don’t want to curse my new bed, let’s sit by the window.” We made our way to the two chairs near the back of my room in front of the window.

We faced each other and he took both my hands into his and gave me a deeply sorrowful look. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, or how much I think about you.”

“No, I don’t know. Tell me.” I replied. I had let him get away with so much in the past. If he wanted to act like we were so serious now I wanted him to squirm as he struggled with the words.

“I think about you when I wake up. I see or hear something funny and I wish you were there to laugh with me. I look at my phone all the time and want to call you. When I do talk to you it feels like I’m a million miles away from everything else going on around me. When I’m eating I wonder what you are eating and wish you were there next to me. Whenever I agree to attend an event and they ask if I’m bringing a guest I wish I could say yes and give them your name. When I’m with you I feel…I feel…not so lonely.”
He took a deep breath and swallowed.

I leaned back in my chair stunned. I had wanted to hear words like that for so long. The thoughts raced through my head…was it to late…was he saying this because he knew it was over with her…did I believe him? I looked deep into his eyes as he nervously chewed his lip. He spoke, “so now you tell me the truth.”

I laughed, “When haven’t I told you the truth?”

“You are stalling, come on, out with it.” He replied.

I let it all out at once. “I can’t stand her Keith, what’s her name. I see her picture and I want to scream. She is not the one for you. All those stories in the magazines about ya’lls’ holidays together drove me crazy. I always knew I was not the only one but I never had to see proof of it in a national publication.”

He smiled, “we’re not talking about her; we’re talking about us.”

I tried again, “I feel so vulnerable around you. I have so much to lose and it seems that I am nothing to you at times, just a causal friend you occasionally sleep with. I put myself out there when I know you are going to stomp all over me again and again. You are the only person I let do this to me. I have the upper hand in all other relationships in my life but with you I just melt.” I tried not to cry.

He looked upset, “You were never nothing to me. I might not have called but I always had you in mind. When we met you were married and I accepted the fact that I was never going to be your man. It hurt but I had to accept it. Then when you got divorced I had some hope but we fought all the time. I thought you could only see me in that role, the role of the ‘other guy’. I wanted to be ‘the guy’ so bad. If anyone had the upper hand it was you. If I hurt you it was because I needed to keep you at arms length to protect myself from getting hurt. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t really love you so many times. I tried to tell myself that it was just lust, that you were an attractive woman who I enjoyed the company of occasionally but didn’t have any real claim to. If I admitted that I loved you it would break me if you ever left again. ”

I interrupted, “But you let me leave. You let me walk out without saying a word. You let me think that you didn’t care at all. If you have to tell yourself that I am just some dirty little secret to protect yourself from being hurt….I just don’t know how much you really could love me.” I started to fall apart and lowered my voice to a whisper.

My hands were shaking and he held them tighter. “I hate that you thought of yourself as a dirty little secret, I never thought of you that way and I’m sorry if I treated you like that. I can’t convince you right now with words. You just have to trust me one more time and maybe you will see. You can do that can’t you baby?”

I was choking on my words and headed towards some ugly crying. “I want to Keith, I really do. I just don’t know if it is fair to put so much on the table right now. You know that this is serious; I would have to know that I was the only one. I’m tired of playing bed buddies with you. If it is going to be you and me you’ll have to pick up some slack. I need a lot of attention; phone calls, visiting you on tour, holidays, trips home. Can you handle those kinds of demands?” I looked at him seriously expecting him to say ‘no, never mind’.

He leaned in closer, “Sweetheart I’ve been waiting for those kinds of demands from you for over a year. I think I can rise to the challenge. You’ve never seen me in full boyfriend mode. You have no idea how well I play that part.” He smiled and wiped my cheek. He kissed my forehead and stroked my neck, “Give us a smile now.”

I took in a deep breath, calmed my shaking hands in an effort to compose myself. “Okay, I’m serious now. You and I; were really going to try this time.”

He straightened his back and tried to put on a serious face. “Yes, were serious, you and me. Perhaps we need an official statement release to the press.”

“No, no. Let’s not jump the gun with that. You know once I tell my friends the word will spread through the Nashville grapevine. That is as good as telling the press.” I said.

He pulled me up gently by my arms and over to his lap. I sat on his sturdy right thigh and put one arm around his shoulder. He rubbed my knee with one hand and the other around my waist. We kissed softly and I fingered a lock of his hair. I brushed my nose against his and whispered, “You have no idea how much trouble you just got yourself into mister.”


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[> [> This is fantastic, I love it I knew he loved you all along! Reminds me of a song.. -- Aussie Chick, 02:00:21 01/20/06 Fri [1]

I read that paragraph over and over again, sniff sniff...
What I'd give for Keith to love me like that. You lucky girl. Well written.

Far Away - Nickelback

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know


I love you
I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore


On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know


I love you
I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore


So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you any more
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing, 'cause i'm not leaving you any more
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go


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[> [> YAY! -- Chesneygirl73, 08:11:51 01/20/06 Fri [1]

A HAPPY ENDING!! I love it!!


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[> [> [> Was this the end? I hope not but if it is Im satisfied (partially) -- Rodeo, 15:47:03 01/20/06 Fri [1]


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[> [> I don't know... -- 1birdinflight, 17:44:03 01/20/06 Fri [1]

Keith's just being too evasive about his relationship with "the tall woman" and just kinda blowing her off essentially...I don't know, kennedy, be careful. I'm not sure I really trust Keith at this point in your story. Don't get me wrong, I love the happy ending but...Let me put it this way, if this was a true story and you were really seeing Keith or anyone else for that matter and all these events really happened from Chapters 1 - 9, I would advise you as a friend to not get too comfortable with this relationship just yet. I'm curious to see what Chapter 10 brings...


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