| Subject: I REALLY REALLY NEED ADVICE |
Author:
Brittany
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Date Posted: 14:44:51 03/30/07 Fri
Hello. Im brittany, 22 yrs old. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. For the first year things were pretty good, but the past year has been hell for me. I am really starting to believe I am crazy, or I am the wrong one. My boyfriend and I get into arguments over everything. He screams at me alot, and its always my fault. he has called me a cracker, whore, slut, cunt, stupid bicth. His favorite is "are you dumb or are you stupid?" Over the past year I have developed anxiety and panic attacks. I used to be happy, now the only thing I get excited about is shopping and getting away. I wasnt able to take a job because there were too many guys working there. there is sooo much i dont really no where to begin or stop. I cry alot. When he hurts my feelings by screaming at me or calling me names, i cry. he has mocked me crying a few times, and laughed at me for crying. he says i cry too much and its annoying. this hurts so much. and told me he would only talk to me if i stooped crying and shutup. he says im controlling (i just want to know what time he is going to be home) and i am selfish. he smokes weed all day. i feel like i know i am better but i am soooooooo scared of change- where would i live? How would i pay everything? (he racked up about 4,000 on my credit cards and he threatens me that he wont pay it off whenever we argue) i do love him- but why? I am very smart. I know i am. I come from a fantastic family and have had a great life up untill a couple years ago. he is mean and cold hearted.he has never hit me- but he has grabbed my arm, pushed my chair over,dumped beer on my head, and thrown things at me. I try to tell its not right and i want him to stop getting so angry but he always says its because of me why he gets so mad. I really really have never dome anything bad to him. I feel like i am a good girlfriend. i am a loving, caring, smart person. He makes me feel soooo guilty. I must have done somthing ! I am scared and confused. he always has a way of MAKING HIS BEHAVIOR SEEM LIKE ITS NOT A BIG DEAL AND ANY GUY WOULD REACT THIS WAY IF THEY HAD TO DEAL WITH ME. he wont let me trade in my truck for a car- because he WILL NOT drive a car. and if i trade it in- "somthing bad will happen" Please guys, i need to talk to someone, i talk to my family some but not to this extent- i know they would kill him. Thanks for reading this. Just to let anyone know, in the past two years i went from a happy outgoing carefree girl with tons of friends and hobbies to an anxiety ridden, underweight stress case with no friends really, and not one hobby I like. Please help! I need a "friend" Brittany
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