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Date Posted: 11:26:59 07/24/07 Tue
Author: Jubellant
Subject: Cheating!

Had an interesting conversation with some friends awhile back on this very topic and was surprised by the responses. The question was if your friend knew thst your husband was cheating on you would you want to know? Most said NO! In Roland's case if this was a 1 time isolated incident (not that I am condoning his behaviour) would that give at least some hope to this marriage surviving vs. a long time love affair? How does this impact trust issues if Joan decides to stay in the army and gets redeployed? Is it a 1 strike and you are out scenario? What if Joan gives up her career to work on having a family only to find out later that Roland did this?

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Replies:

[> It's one strike and you're out and I may or may not allow you to see your children, thing for me. That's right up there with rape and murder in my book. I couldn't stay with someone who has no honor. -- Theresa, 16:23:37 07/24/07 Tue [1]


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[> [> I'm with you on this one Theresa. For me it would be the same thing, one time and you're out the door. Not only is there no honor, but the whole trust issue it destroyed. And Yes, if my friend knew I would want to be told. I would be truly angry if the wool was being pulled over my eyes and everyone else knew about it. :o) -- KH, 17:33:03 07/24/07 Tue [1]


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[> [> [> Oh and yes I would want to know! People find things out, and I'd rather not be given some STD or have someone knock on my door years down the road and claim my husband is their father. -- Theresa, 19:43:26 07/24/07 Tue [1]


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[> For me, a lot would have to do with the circumstances and how repentent he was for having done so. My uncle cheated on my aunt eons ago, back when my cousins were young. Granted that was a long time ago, in a different era, but they worked through the reasons for the affair and the aftermath to have a long-standing marriage and loving relationship. I'd almost prefer a long-term affair than a one-night stand if that one-night stand was just about sex, because how can you trust that the "urge" won't hit him again? -- KatRose, 10:23:50 07/25/07 Wed [1]


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[> For me one strike and you're out as well. One time is inexcusable and a long term affair is even worse because there's something more there. If you've got problems or something is bothering you you talk it out and ask for what you want. There is no excuse for cheating as mentioned above there is no more honor or trust in my mind. No tolerance and heck yeah I'd wanna know. -- Kathy, 15:49:13 07/26/07 Thu [1]


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