Re: Ordinary loneliness -- The PM Refugees' Forum

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Date Posted: 21:55:58 08/18/08 Mon
Author: Paul
Subject: Re: Ordinary loneliness
In reply to: Roger 's message, "Ordinary loneliness" on 23:47:39 08/17/08 Sun

I moved to this rather small town a couple of years ago. My closest, and actually only, good friend lives a town away. So I have had many of the feelings you are going through. But whereas you have a wife, I have a cat. And no, I don't want to trade.

I found myself doing some extra volunteer work at my new church. This gave me the opportunity to interact with people who, although I didn't consider them friends, are fun to be with and alleviate the boredom and loneliness. I've since been invited to homes and parties etc.

Since you seem to have time to fill I'm sure there are a lack of volunteers at your church. That seems to be the case with every church.

Hugs my friend. Work your way out of this funk, don't just medicate it.

>My thoughts are a bit in turmoil, and I am probably
>not going to say everything that is relevant to the
>way I have been feeling lately, so if this is a bit
>disorganized, just bear with/ignore/make fun of me as
>you see fit.
>
>Since I retired, I have spent the bulk of my spare
>time doing things about the house, as I can. I'm not
>a fast worker, and I don't do carpentry or plumbing
>for a living, but in the last few months I have
>installed new kitchen cabinets, reconstructed our fish
>pond, sorted the deck, built a couple of projects for
>my daughter's new condo. This week, the drain rotted
>out in the bathroom sink, and because I'm not a
>terribly good plumber, things kept breaking in
>chain-reaction fashion, so I replaced the drain, then
>the valves under the counter went south, and took the
>taps with them, and finally, one if the glue joints in
>the ABS piping, which was not part of the original
>problem, is now leaking.
>
>In addition, I am installing five new doors upstairs,
>something I do well, but not quickly. I've done three,
>and one is on special order, so I don't have it yet.
>
>So when my wife came home at 8:00 three nights ago (a
>night when I had crawled out from under the sink with
>new taps, a new valve, and a newly resealed drain all
>completed, and the job finished as I thought, and I
>completely knackered,) and she immediately complained
>that I hadn't put the mouthwash, etc., back under the
>sink, I just exploded and finally left the house for
>about three hours before coming home and quietly
>sitting in the yard reading a book I'd bought...
>
>Anyway, next day I installed the first of the doors,
>to no comment from anybody. and continued on Friday at
>what is beginning to be a thankless (literally) task.
>
>Now, I'm not writing this to complain about my wife,
>who is a good person with many admirable traits. I've
>realized I don't really have anywhere to turn to.
>
>I've never been good at making friends, and I can
>really name only one in the same city I live in. This
>is someone I can really discuss this kind of thing
>with, but we only see each other once or twice a
>month. There are countless people who think well of
>me, but no friends. My priest is not my friend,
>although we share common goals and ideals. Some people
>at church probably refer to me as a friend, but nobody
>asks me to come over and watch the game. Or to listen
>to an opera, for that matter.
>
>I wouldn't want to burden a new friend with my woes,
>anyway. At the moment, I am feeling so isolated that I
>would consider hiring someone to just come along with
>me while I install my doors, do plumbing, replace trim
>in the kitchen go to the hardware store, and help me
>pick up afterwards, just so I wouldn't be doing all
>this shit alone.
>
>Right now, it's only the pills that are keeping me
>from falling into a hole. I'm just going to go take a
>pill to put myself to sleep. Got doors to do tomorrow.

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Replies:

Re: Ordinary loneliness -- Organ Morgan, 06:10:30 08/22/08 Fri

Re: Ordinary loneliness -- Michael, 08:54:19 08/23/08 Sat

Re: Ordinary loneliness -- Roger, 18:17:04 08/24/08 Sun
- Re: Ordinary loneliness -- Michael, 16:25:09 08/29/08 Fri