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Date Posted: 17:08:27 09/16/05 Fri
Author: Elaini (Rishanath), Halzay (Elizabeth), and Salzay
Subject: Are you all right? <^> Sadness

((This is meant for S’peer to reply to, but... I guess anyone is welcome. But please don’t say you came while ‘Laini’s there—she won’t reply! ^_^ I’d also appreciate it if no one overheard them...))

Elaini heaved a sigh, and leaned her head heavily on her companion’s shoulder. Halzay in turn put a pale hand on the Indian-looking girl’s dark shoulder, gently “Shh”-ing in her ear. The older girl brought the sobbing Elaini into her arms, and patted her back softly.

“Oh, ‘Laini...” She cooed softly, trying her best reassure the other girl. Elaini grabbed a lock of her friends bushy brown hair and clenched her fists, holding it close to her bosom but not hard enough to cause Halzay any pain. Halzay patted her shoulder again. “It’ll be ok...”

The younger greenrider choked on a sob. “No, it won’t.” Her tears choked her again, and she coughed harshly into her comrade’s new forest-green tunic. Halzay frowned, and patted the girl’s shoulder tenderly.

“Hey... you don’t know that...” Of course, it was truly Halzay that didn’t know. All she knew was that she’d found a depressed Elaini, asked what was wrong, and had been greeted by a small cry, and the dam of tears had finally broken.

Elaini choked again. “Yes, I do... Faranth, I’m such a dimglow!” She shook her head vigorously. Hesitating, Halzay finally gathered her courage together, and spoke in a small whisper.

“El... what happened?”

Elaini went very quiet. If it weren’t for her shuddering gasps, Halzay would’ve thought she’d petrified her friend. She gazed worriedly at the greenrider, and met Elaini’s eyes for the first time in the entire conversation.

“Oh, Hal...” she said softly, trying hard not to cry again. She wiped her face on her sleeve, and her grey eyes seemed to bore into Halzay’s soul. “Oh, Hal... I’m so sorry... if you knew...”

“Then I’d still stand by you.” Halzay said firmly, knowing her friend was clearly disgusted with herself. “Look, El, I love you. You’re like my little sister. I’d never leave you for a mistake. And I’m not the only one. Salzay loves you, she even calls you Auntie Elly, and W’ntyr—”

This was the wrong thing to say. To Halzay’s horror, Elaini burst into tears again, not seeming at all relieved by Halzay’s reassurance.

“Oh, El—sorry... sorry... did I say something?”

Elaini wiped her eyes, and sighed. “You didn’t mean it... but... oh, Hal, I betrayed him! My own weyrmate!”

Halzay frowned. “What do you mean, El? Because if you’re worried about leaving, I’ve heard W’ntyr’s in a good mood now that you’re...” She broke off as Elaini shook her head with evident distress.

“No, no! That’s not it, Hal!” Her eyes pleaded with her... begged her to understand. But, Halzay was at a loss.

“Then, what...” It clicked. “Oh, El, you don’t mean...?” Elaini looked down, and tried to calm herself. It was all the proof Halzay needed. “Oh, my poor baby... but, how? Who?”

Elaini took a shuddering breath to regain her breath, and whispered one word; “X’thrall.”

Halzay’s heart dropped. “X’thrall... not... El, don’t say you mean G’rein’s...?” Elaini nodded, and Halzay shook her head again. “Oh, El...” She brought the slightly smaller woman’s head to her chest, and stroked her hair as she would her daughter, 4-turn-old Salzay. “Oh, El... I’m so sorry, baby... it’ll be ok...”

“Hal...” Elaini choked. “I’m... I’m... pregnant.”

Halzay bit her lips against empathetic tears. “Oh, El... but, did you tell W’ntyr?”

“He thinks it’s his.” She said simply. “I didn’t say a word...”

“But, then, won’t it be ok...?” Halzay knew the answer before it came.

“I can’t keep these secrets, Hal.”

Halzay sighed. “I know, El... but, think it out first. Find a nice way to tell him.”

“I will,” Elaini said solemnly. Halzay gave a sad laugh, and Elaini frowned. “What?”

“Even as you’re in trouble,” Halzay said softly, “you’re still more gallant than most bronze riders. You realize what a risk you’d take?”

“I can’t lie to him any longer than I have to.”

“I’ll be lucky if I ever learn to be half the woman you are, El.”

“You already are, Hal.” Elaini smiled sadly, and stood. “I’m going to go check on the twins, all right?” She wiped her eyes, and was surprisingly calm.

Halzay nodded. “All right. I’m going to stay a bit for the Feast.”

“See you later... and Hal?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t tell anyone.”

“Promise,” Halzay answered, turning to the small body of the four-turn-old child lying in the chair next to her. She sighed, scooped the small girl into her lap without waking her, and cradled the baby close to her. She still had to speak with him about what they’d do now that he knew Sal existed... but, he’d come when he did, she decided.

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