Thanks!! Here is another poem from real life... please let me know what you think. My English teacher said it was good, but I want to see what other people think. -- The Fire Side

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Subject: Thanks!! Here is another poem from real life... please let me know what you think. My English teacher said it was good, but I want to see what other people think.

Author:
Swordslash
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Date Posted: 14:59:24 12/20/03 Sat
In reply to: Swordslash 's message, "Some odd poems of mine - feedback please" on 20:50:34 12/16/03 Tue

The golden retriever,
Lies still.
Soft, warm breath,
On my cheek.
Scruffy, cozy fur,
Against my side.
Fluffy tail,
Tapping my feet,
As it slowly,
Wags
Like a pendulum,
Back and forth.
Sweet, dark eyes,
So happy and kind,
Staring at me.
Wet nose,
Snuffling against my chin.
A ray of sunshine
In my day.

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Replies:

Subject Author Date

Uuuummm, what I dont get ole chap,*A sand colored female hare with brown paws and ears comments,*is th' first 2 lines. It says, 'The golden retriever lies still,' an' ta me, that means it's dead. But, then yer talking about what it does when it's alive wot!! (NT) Steadykick 21:41:16 12/20/03 Sat