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Subject: Keralmel Part One. (I know it's pretty horrible, but please read it and comment on it. And it's not as dark as my previous story, Whiteye and those concerned.


Author:
Jade da hopefully authoress
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Date Posted: 19:30:58 10/20/03 Mon

The girl stood at the edge of the cliff, panting. A vista of blue mountains rose before her in the distance, while between the pale heights lay emerald fields. Little dots of blue were springfed lakes, and white houses sat gleaming beside them. The sun was friendly, providing light and heat, while not being too harsh. The girl looked out at this panorama sadly. Sen’narithu, her Hidden Valley. She would not let a traitor rule here!
She transferred her gaze directly below her, to the jagged, sharp black obsidian rocks. They were stained with the blood of executed people for long ages. But the girl took a momentary pride in thinking that no blood had stained them for the four years of her reign. Then a bitterness overwhelmed her. No blood, despite the fact that she was now on the fifth rebellion of her four years so far as Queen.
The girl herself was not beautiful, but the way in which she held herself gave that impression. She knew well how to convey authority in her posture, gaze, and look, while also seeming personable and friendly. She had hair of a color midway between gold and strawberry and deep brown eyes the color of the fertile earth of her valley. Her face was small and foxlike and the eyes were large. On first sight, that gave the impression that they bulged, but that impression soon vanished. Only the most gifted of observers could have seen the fear, sorrow, distrust, and anger hiding behind the confidence in her eyes.
A soft, cool breeze, smelling of grain and wool and a faint hint of roses, drifted up. The girl sighed, wanting nothing more for the moment than to stand there forever.
At a sound behind her she whirled. It was the clop of a horse’s hoof. The rank smell of sweat emanated powerfully from the sleek black animal, and equally from it’s unkempt rider. The man swung himself down from the saddle and strode towards the girl on the edge of the precipice. His eyes fixed on the diadem on the girl’s brow.
“Stop!” she commanded. “One step further, traitor, and I fling myself to the Black Teeth. And who do you think will reach the diadem then?” Her usually warm and gentle voice rose cold and clear in the summer sunshine.
The man shifted his weight uneasily. “Look, girl,” he tried, “Let’s just settle this peacefully. Hand over the diadem, and your life will be spared. You can retire to a country estate with servants and horses. You’ll live well there, I promise.”
“Your promise!” the girl spat scornfully. “Your promise! When has that been worth anything? I seem to remember you promising always to be loyal to me five times already, and leading a rebellion against me the very next week! Think you I’ll believe you now?”
The man glared daggers at her. “Well, my Queen Keralmel, it will go worse for you if I must take that diadem by force!”
Queen Keralmel laughed contemptuously, saying nothing.
The man whipped out a sword and advanced.
“You leave me no choice, my Lord.” Keralmel said quietly.
He did not pause.
The Queen of Sen’narithu leaped.
The traitor Lord gasped. He never thought she’d actually be brave enough to do it.
Falling, the blue sky so bright it hurt her eyes. It was a moment, it was a lifetime. It was nothing.
The Lord stepped to the edge. “D**n her!” he cursed quietly. He spat and turned back to his horse.

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Jade! Congratulations!!!!!! What do you mean that that's horrible?! THAT"S WONDERFUL!! (NT)Sekin Brightfall03:09:58 10/21/03 Tue
You really think so? I know it's one of my better efforts to date, but I didn't think it was that good. I think yours is awesome as well. Thanks a lot! (NT)Jade da extremely happy authoress18:25:41 10/21/03 Tue
Not that I think any of you will, just a precaution, but DO NOT STEAL ANY PART OF THIS STORY! I WROTE IT, NOT YOU! (NT)Jade who doesn't mean to give offense 19:01:26 10/21/03 Tue
Hmmmmmmm, I don't know about that. This is going to be a book someday hopefully soon and if you read it all here you won't buy the book. Let's say a month or two to finish writing... another month for at least four revisions... who knows how long to get it published... (NT)Jade11:17:18 10/22/03 Wed


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