"Hey, could you people keep it down? I am trying to NOT watch the X-Files over here..." -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 22:15:05 12/16/01 Sun
Author: Rabid, who never makes resolutions as she is irresolute
Subject: "Hey, could you people keep it down? I am trying to NOT watch the X-Files over here..."
In reply to: Kande's Sis 's message, "Bubba is in the corner, desperately trying to contain his foot" on 08:55:43 12/15/01 Sat

Rabid yelps at CW, KS and Kande. The Shipperville Librarian has a hankie over her nose to avoid the stench of Bubba Toe and has her back firmly turned to the set as another JD/MR filled eppy of the X-Files unravels in the background.

"Look, they are using hand held cameras to make it look like another boring reality show," KM says nudging the Rabid one.

"Hummph," Rabid snorts, "X-Cops was better."

"Oh, and his skull...ewwww!" IG gasps.

"Yeah, like that can compare with Eugene Tooms ripping out your liver."

"Oooh," Kande inserts looking up from the wrestling match with KS and CW and going very still, "They've called in Scully."

"I miss how Mulder flipped open his cell phone...'Scully, it's me'. He would say..."

"ICK, those flies were really gross, too."

"Oh, yeah...Like BUGS are original. There were bugs in After Dark...and WAR OF THE COPENHAGENS (or whatever that eppy was called) now those were some seriously scary Bugs. And what about the worms in ICE? I love that episode...classic X-Files that was...back when the lighting was really, really bad..."

"I thought you were leaving town," Det. growls under her breath in a pointed aside. Her words are only slightly slurred by too much eggnog.

"I am leaving," Rabid asserts primly, "But I didn't want to go until I had given you all the GIFT OF MY UNDIVIDED ATTENTION."

"Oh, Good Luck wrapping that!" KS scoffs, "How about the gift of your one-size-fits-most EGO?"

"Boy, that sweater sure looks tight around the neck, KS!" Rabid purrs cattily.

KS immediately starts clawing at her throat and gagging.

"Stop it," CW commands, "Stop struggling KS you are only making it worse on yourself..."

Suddenly the room falls quiet as everyone's attention is captured by the small screen. Stardoe voices the opinion of the shipperville masses.

"Who the bloody hell is the twonk in the Benny Hill suit that is smarming all over our Scully?"

"Why the cheap, sleazy little excuse for a...he better get his 'say no more, say no more' insinuations away from my Scully or I'm going to..." Kande begins twitching and sputtering.

Her sweater gets tighter and tighter in response to her violence and she begins turning a lovely vermillion color. CW abandons the still gasping KS to rush to Kande's side.

"Kande...calm down!"

"It's insulting...it's sickening...it's....ARARAAHHHHHGGGGH!" Kande suddenly starts convulsing and then the sweater begins pinging out in all directions.

"Everybody hit the deck," Rabid yells just in the nick of time as Kande's cysts pop out of her body and zing around the room like a truckload of superballs flipping over on I-95.

The little creatures bounce around the Klub careening off of people's heads, landing in mugs of rootbeer and smashing the TV set to smithereens. They make a joyful noise as they shoot about cheering and giggling and singing Christmas carols. Kande's sweater is in tatters and she sags between CW and her suddenly Sisterly sister.

"Well," KS says when the din dies down, "I guess you were right, Kande. They are alive."

"Thanks for the gift of your belief in me." Kande sighs.

"Hey, Kande," Rabid says from her place on the floor, "Do you have another TV around here somewhere? I mean...How do you expect me to NOT watch the X-Files if it's not even on?"

Rabid/Raeann
who really tries to resist but was sucked back in by your story line...so...maybe I'm not leaving AFTERALL...we will see.

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Replies:

Okay, Okay so the eppy is called "Darkness Falls"...my how quickly I forget! (NT) -- Rabid who hangs her head in shame at the gaff, 00:00:07 12/17/01 Mon
"Who spilled all over the floor?" demands kande. -- kande, 03:18:57 12/18/01 Tue
- Kenamom smiles as she notes the green on her visor is a Christmas Green -- kenamom, getting in the spirit, 10:20:57 12/18/01 Tue
  - "I love you guysh!" slurs Rabid. -- kande, 04:57:58 12/19/01 Wed
    - KS starts the impromptu Xmas etiquette class -- Kande's Sis, 06:47:31 12/19/01 Wed
      - "Merry Christmas! -- CW, 20:59:34 12/21/01 Fri