VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, [5], 6 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 15:04:44 02/28/02 Thu
Author: CindyB
Subject: This is fantastically funny! LOL
In reply to: Lu & Katherine 's message, "The JAGnik Olympiks...Sort of...(Part 1 of ???)" on 14:45:51 02/27/02 Wed


[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> PART FOUR Inside -- Katherine--we're getting there!, 15:50:39 02/28/02 Thu


~back live~

Marco ~peering between his fingers~: “These ‘women’ commercials! I can't believe they put this on tv. Sheesh! Like I want to know about this stuff... Give's me the cree...”

Lu: “YOU'RE MIKE IS ON MARCO!!!! Welcome back to the games. I’m not sure this is what the IOC had in mind way back when, but what can ya do? We now take you to JenniferNTS and Marco at the ConAir Rink for the Curling event.”

~Lu—heard off mike—“Curling??? What the heck kind of Olympic event is THAT?

Northstar: “Why do you keep asking me these things?”

~Lu shrugs~

Marco: “I’ll bet you 20 bucks that Mac wins.”

JenniferNTS: “But I already think that MAC is going to win.”

Marco: “I’ll betcha!”

JenniferNTS: >sigh< “But I just sai... Oh, nevermind...”

Lu: ~crying~ “Why does no one pay attention to me? I’m only doing my job. Didn’t you people read the memos?”

Marco: “Sorry Lu, but I'm really behind in my memo reading.... sort of like your e-mail reading... are you seeing the IRONY here, Lu???"

Lu: “Oh puleeze. You're going to throw that in my face NOW??? Look. You two start announcing or you're doing the next commercial. Kapish?”

Marco ~quickly~: "Here we are Ladies and Gents! Back at the Curling rink!"

JenniferNTS: “Yes, Marco, this is an exciting event. We have Harriet and Mac going head to head in this competition.”

Marco: “It appears the competitors are ready to begin Jennifer.”

JenniferNTS: “Yes, they’re making their way to the middle of the rink, Marco. Let’s listen in.”

Marco: “Uh-oh...there seems to be some sort of commotion.”

Lu ~sighing heavily~: “No doubt. What else would we expect?”

JenniferNTS: “I don’t believe it! Harriet’s been disqualified!”

Marco: “Let’s see if we can hear why.”

JenniferNTS: “This is scandalous. It seems that Harriet has been disqualified in the Curling event because....(wait for it)...she has a PERM!!!”

Marco: “That means Mac wins the gold! And her hair has never looked better!”

JenniferNTS: “OK...we’ll be back for more excitement after this message.”

~~~~~~~~~~

~Commercial 5~

Katherine:

“Can you hear me now? Good.”

~takes a few steps~

“Can you hear me now? Good.”

~takes a few more steps~

“Can you hear me now? Good.”

~takes a few more steps and falls in hole~

Lu: "Katherine? Katherine? Huh?? I can't hear her now!"

Katherine ~from hole~: “>SIGH<”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Back live~

Northstar: “How did you get her to tape all these things?”

Lu: “I told her it would be good publicity for The BLA.”

Northstar: “And she bought it?? LOLOL!”

~pause~

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

~pause~

ROTFLOLOLPIMPLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

~Lu shoots Northstar a Luoodles look~

Northstar: “Ahem...sorry.”

Lu: “We now send...”

Northstar: “SNARKLOLOLOL!!”

~Lu slaps Northstar~

Northstar: “OW! Uh.. sorry... umm... continue...”

Lu: “We now send our audience out to the...WHOA...What is THAT?????”

Northstar: “It looks like...well...I don’t know what it is!”

Lu: “Uh oh!”

~A four-legged figure gallops out of the woods with two sack-like items draped over it~

Webb: “Hey!!! That’s my HORSE!!! Hey!!!! Spyglass!!!! I thought I’d never see you again!”

~Webb starts to run toward Spyglass~

Northstar: “What...or should I say WHO...is that on the horse?”

Lu: “Ummmm..I don’t know...Anyway, as I was saying...we now take you to...

~Just then, the horse and it's uneasy riders charge Lu~

Lu: "AAAAAAAIIIIIGGGGGGHHH!!!!! GACK! No! Stop! Whoa Nellie! SIT! ...”

Webb: “His name is Spyglass—not Nellie!”

Lu: “Who cares!? Make him STOP!”

~As the horse nears Lu, the riders of said animal come plainly into view~

Lu ~continuing~: “Heel! WALKIES! STAY!!”

~Looking more closely~ “Hey wait.... It’s Katherine and Amanda! Katherine!”

~Both riders stare at Lu with daggers in their eyes~

Lu: “Slow DOWN! You're going to run into..”

~THUD~

Lu: “...me!”

Northstar: “Amanda...what happened?”

Amanda: “Well...We just ran into Lu with our horse and now she has this big hoof print on her forehead and…”

Northstar: “I mean how did you get on the HORSE and WHERE have you BEEN??!!!”

Amanda: “Oh…Well, you see, I was jogging in the woods and you know, you would THINK there would be SIGNS! I mean this is AMERICA for crying out loud! Who ever HEARD of having WOODS with no SIGNS! A person could be lost forever out there in that wilderness!”

Northstar: “Wilderne.. Are you talking about the PARK? It's ... I don't know.. MAYBE an acre! How could you possibly...oh nevermind. Then what happened?”

Amanda: “Well.... then I rescued this poor, lost horse and...”

~Spyglass snorts~

Amanda: “O.K. O.K. The horse found me. Anyway... this horse found me and I figured I could just, you know...like ride to the edge of the forest...”

Northstar: “It's a PARK, Amanda...”

Amanda: “Oh ALRIGHT, the PARK. Are you going to let me finish telling my story or NOT?”

Northstar: “Sorry. Continue...”

Amanda ~glaring at NS~: “...when all of the sudden, KATHERINE comes tearing through the trees and is being followed by a bunch of BEARS! I thought I was going to die!”

Northstar: ~realizing camera is ON~ “Sorry folks...while we straighten this out...let’s send you out to the Bobsleigh course where the two-man competition is about to begin. CatMom4 and Amy...are you there? Please be there...”

Amy: “Yes, we’re here North. Hope everything works out there...”

Lu ~interrupts~ “Wait a minute...Just wait a darn minute! ‘I’ve’ been trying to introduce people for 11 days now, and it has been an unmitigated disaster! Not ONE person was ready! And they completely ignored me! HOW is it that the first time NORTHSTAR introduces people, everyone pays attention and all goes well???????????”

Northstar: "Um.... because you're an incompetent idiot and I'm no..."

Lu: “CATMOM! CATMOM4!!! Northstar is being MEAN to me... This is going to set my therapy back 6 months!!!”

CatMom4: “Easy Lu, I'm sure she didn't mean it.”

Northstar: “Yes, I did.”

Catmom to Northstar: “You MANIAC! What are you DOING!?? I am NOT going to suffer through six more months of sessions with this loon because of YOU!!! I've only seen her twice, and already half of my staff has quit, my partner jumped off the roof, and I'm beginning to question my OWN sanity!! Now keep you mouth SHUT, or I'm giving her your address! ~cough~ ummm...Now, where were we, dear? Oh yes. It's simple, Lu. Amy and I...well...we just read the memo.”

Lu: “AAAAAAIGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!”

CatMom4 ~startled, jumps 4 feet~: “WHAT!!!!”

Northstar: "Hey, I didn't say ANYTHING."

Amy: “Anyway...we’re here for the two-man bobsleigh competition. First up are Sergei and Gunny. I think they make a fine team.”

CatMom4 ~climbing down off the curtains, still eyeing Lu~: “Well, they’re certainly fit and have the necessary speed.”

Amy: “Here they go...they’re pushing off...”

CatMom4: “They’ll need a good start to catch the leaders...”

Amy: “OH NO!!! Gunny slipped. I hope this won’t hurt them too much.”

CatMom4: “Well...they’re picking up speed....and it looks like...”

Amy: “AAAAAAHHHHHHH...they’re going too fast...they’re going too....I can’t watch!”

~SSSSSSWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH~

CatMom4: “It appears that the sled has left the track...they’re in the air...they’ve landed on... the...they’re...they’re...where did they go?”

Amy: “UP...they went UP!!!! They’ve broken the sound barrier and...”

CatMom4: “They’re orbiting the Earth. Oh my...if that wasn’t a gold medal performance, I don’t know what is!”

Amy: “Way to go my true love, Sergei! Ummmm...We’ll be right back after these messages.”

~Commercial 6~

REGROW FOR WOMEN

Lu: “Ladies, we know that since you hit 40 you're hair falls out faster than you can say ‘GACK!’ That's why we have this NEW product just for you. SEE it's in a PINK bottle...and that makes ALL the difference. Our model Katherine shall demonstrate!”

Katherine ~glaring~: “But I'm not bald! Get away from me! What are you doing with that wax? That's for LEGS!”

Lu: “Don't worry, Kath, the ReGrow will grow it right back for you. Now hold still this won't... Ufff...Take...OW...QUICK KICKING! A minute..RRRRRRRRIIIIPPPPPP!!!!

Katherine: “AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGHHH!!!! Ow Ow Ow!”

Lu: “Oh don't be such a BABY! Here, let me dump a bit of this ReGrow on you and...”

Katherine: “AAAAIIIIGGGGH! It BURNS! What's IN this stuff?”

Lu: “Let's see here....99% rubbing alcohol, 1% turf builder...”

Katherine: “Something's....funny....”

Lu: “Is it your hair? You can feel it growing already?”

Katherine: “I'm not sure... something's happening to...”

~SPROING! SproingSproingSproing SproingSproingSproing!!!!~

Lu: “AIIIIGGGGHHHHH!!!!”

Katherine: “What? What is it?”

Lu: “Uh...nothing...Nothing at all... ummmm...Why do you ask?”

Katherine: “SOMEBODY GET ME A MIRROR!”

Lu: “My! LOOK at the TIME! Umm....I've got to be going now.. I'll um...talk with you later. BYE!~~~~~~~!!!!!!!”

Katherine: “Get back here! You get back he...” ~someone hands her a mirror~

Katherine: “AAAIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

Lu: ~running away with Katherine chasing her~: “I'm telling you, Kath, broccoli hair is VERY attractive. Really. I'm sure Carrot Top and you could have a REAL future together!”

Katherine ~with steam flowing out of her ears~ “YOU....You...my friend...are GOING to be sorry...VERY VERY sorry...”

Lu: “We now return you to your regularly-scheduled programming.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> BRAVO!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!! You ladies did a SPLENDID job of putting this together. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard and so much. I am still laughing..... -- Northstar - who will be sending the dry cleaning bill and the computer repair bill to both of the writers!!!!!, 16:20:20 02/28/02 Thu


[ Edit | View ]
[> [> OMG! I can't freaking BREATHE! ROTFLMAO -- KrisL., 16:30:51 02/28/02 Thu


[ Edit | View ]
[> [> What happen to Men's Nude Ice Skating? TOO funny!!! Thank you so much for starting my day with a smile, a serious drool, and hiccups! -- Fran-hic-ces, 06:31:38 03/01/02 Fri


[ Edit | View ]

[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.