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Date Posted: 14:45:51 02/27/02 Wed
Author: Lu & Katherine
Subject: The JAGnik Olympiks...Sort of...(Part 1 of ???)
We (Luoodles and Katherine) present our latest collaboration (stop running!!!!!). Meaning, we are both responsible for this latest fias....er...masterpie....umm...project. Contrary to popular belief, we DO like each other--do you HONESTLY think we'd spend weeks writing together if we didn't??? Sheesh...Anyway, we hope you take it in the spirit it is intended--to be FUN and non-offensive. Please direct all complaints to Lu at itwasn'tmyidea.net or to Katherine at Toldyouthatwouldtickpeopleoff.com.This just keeps it lighthearted and fun. Sort of. LOL!
The JAGnik Olympiks: Part 1
Announcer Lu Costuslots: “Ladies and Gentlemen...My talented and lovely co-host (guess who wrote that people!) and I would like to thank you for your attendance at the XXVVICMMGONAVYMMIVIIXL Olympic Winter Games here in downtown Maeveville!”
Announcer Katherine McHey!: “Thanks LC. Before we get to the actual events, we shall have the "Parade of Posters!" In keeping with the winter theme, they will all be wearing hula skirts and skis!”
Lu: “Hula Skirts? Are they all from...? Hawaii?”
Katherine: "I don't know... they DO look to be WINTER Hula Skirts..."
Lu: "How on earth do you have a WINTER Hula Skirt?"
Katherine: "Oh I don't know. I mean, they DO have winter in Hawaii...and they even had some snow this past year...Let’s ask Oldspice...Besides it's MY line, and I'm leavin' it in! Sheesh! You're always deleting my stuff! And while we're on the subject, you make me sick with that POOFING garbage. Why anyone thinks that stuff is funny is BEYOND me. And I'm not even going to MENTION those inane SONGS you...”
Lu: “Katherine...”
~Katherine continues to grumble at Lu~
Lu: “KATHERINE!”
Katherine: “WHAT!?”
Lu: “We'll leave it IN! Sheesh! We're on the AIR! Sigh....”
~trumpets blast~
Lu: “Here they come now!”
Skiers ~who suspiciously resemble JAGniks~: “Whoa!... AAAAAAIIIIGGGH!!!!! Looooooooook oooooooooooouuuuuuuuttt!!!!!!”
Spectators: “AAIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHH!!!”
~CRASH!!!!~
~Medical Sirens begin to wail~
Lu: “Sheesh—They didn’t even light the flame! AMATUERS! Hold on whilst *I* take care of it...”
Katherine: “Ummmm...Lu...do you really think that’s a good idea?”
Lu: “Ohhhhh pppuuullleeeezzzzzeeeeee....what’s the worst that can happen? I just take this BBQ lighter thingy and....”
~WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!~
Katherine: “LU! You IDIOT! Your HAIR IS on fire!!!"
~Lu leaping around, finally shoves head in snow bank~
Lu ~smoke wafting off head~: “O.K. Well... perhaps that wasn't such a good idea after all.... ummmm...MOVING ON!...Our foreign correspondent Brigitte is standing by for an interview with some of the skiers who are still conscious. Brigitte...are you there?”
~Brigitte is standing with a cheesesteak in her hand~
Brigitte: “Mmmmm.... Toasted!”
Lu: “Brigitte, say ‘Hello’.”
Brigitte: “MmmfffHelwo.”
Lu: “Brig..dear...do you have the interview or not?”
Brigitte: “Oh....mmmhhhuuyes...mmhsorrry mmhLu. ~swallowing~ AHEM...I stand here with Abby, Rainbow and ScoobieD...Ladies...what occurred on the hill out there?”
Abby: “I dunno. I was warming up for the curling event, when someone strapped sticks to my feet and shoved me off the mountain!”
Rainbow: “I think someone put WD-40 on our skies!”
ScoobieD: “I blame Lu.”
Lu: “Wha...???? I didn...”
Brigitte: “Lu, ssssssssss! I’m busy.”
Lu: “Sigh...”
Brigitte: “Well, I’m glad there were no serious injuries.”
Abby: “What do you call SERIOUS?! My FEET are pointing BEHIND me!”
Rainbow: “Oh buck up, Abby. Don't be such a baby! I'm gonna have a MARK...and...I think I broke a nail...and.....”
Abby: "I said my FEET are POINTING beHIND me! What is WRONG w/ you people?”
ScoobieD: “Ummm...I have a bandaid...Will that help?”
Brigitte: “There you have it Lu.”
Lu: “Oh my GOSH! Is Abby all right???”
Brigitte: ~eating more cheesesteak~ “Mmmwhatfhh?”
Lu: “Sigh...never mind. Moving on. Our first event takes us over to the USN Ice Pavilion for the pairs Ice Skating Competition. AmandaW, what is going on back there?”
AmandaW: “I hhhhhaven't a ccccclue, Lu, and further, I don' cccccare! What on EARTH are they ttttthinking! I'm a former JOGGING champion for crying out lllllloud! They've got me standing here ddddddressed in my SHORTS...and BBBBBBBBy the way, THIS particular pppppair hasn't FFFFFFIT in FOUR YEARS!!!...I'm FFFFFFFREEEEEZING out here!”
Lu: “Oh my GOSH! Who’s in charge of WARDROBE? Quick, get the camera on the skaters and SOMEBODY GET AMANDA A COAT!”
~Cue shot of backstage: the contestants are practicing their routines~
AmandaW ~donning an Eskimo parka~: “Well, Lu...it seems the athletes (and myself) are warming up. Let's listen in as the pair of Tiner/Singer prepare for their upcoming event....”
~CRASH...BOOM...KABANG~ "OW! Uooff! Get... OFF...OW! TINER! I'm going to stick that blade where the sun don't sh... "
Amanda: “GACK! Back to YOU LU!
Lu: “Yes, well uh...thanks for that uh "LIVE" report, AmandaW.
Amanda: “Sure thing Lu. You know, I think I’ll go take a quick run to warm up a bit. Be back in a jif.”
Lu: “Um...Amanda...ummm... Do you think that's such a good idea... I mean...you're not familiar with...”
Amanda: “Oh for heaven's sake. I'll be FINE...Why, I'm a regular Daniel Boone!!”
Lu: “Yes...ummm...well...perhaps you should at least take a buddy with you...or perhaps a compass? Amanda?”
Amanda: “Now which way was the door to my booth again? Oh right...here it is...I'll just...Aiiigghhhhh!! ~THUD!~ My...that first step is a doozie. Be careful when you step out the door Lu, there's quite a drop...”
Lu: “That was the WINDOW! Sigh....We'll never see her again...And now, without further adieu, I send you to my colleagues SD and Canrane.”
~Obviously, SD and Canrane do not realize their mikes are on...~
Canrane: “So, if you’re not hanging with the fichus anymore, who are you hanging with?”
SD: “There’s a cute little patch of ivy climbing my chimney.”
Canrane: “Uh, Just a sec, SD, it's that annoying Lu woman again....Lu, would you STOP with the waving...WHAT!?...We’re on the a...!!!??”
~papers fly in the air~
Canrane ~nervously smiles into camera~ “WELCOME!!! uh..~ cough ~ Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the USN Pavilion where the first pair is set to perform.”
SD: ~adjusting tie, notices camera on him~ “Yes, that’s right...I believe...yes, here they are ladies and gentlemen...Mic and Renee.”
~crowd applauds~
~Music comes up...Munchkins come out..~.
MichelleB from audience: "HEY!"
Lu: “GACK!”
~sound of needle scratching record~
~"Correct" music comes up~
Canrane rolling eyes: “Ahem....Don’t they look stunning together? Just look at the way they glide.....My...they seem to be gliding awfully...FAST!”
SD: “I agree...they'd better slow down! For their first required element, they’ll do a triple flip, double axle, and somersault over each other. At that speed...oh my...I just can't watch!”
Canrane: “Yes, and this is the first time this has even been attempted in competition!”
SD: “Uh oh...I just don’t have a good feeling about this...”
Canrane: “Oh no...Here they come!!!" ~closes eyes~
~WHAM! ~
“BRUMBY, YOU IDIOT!" ~Their voices trail off into the distance.~
Canrane: What happened?
SD: “They appear to have crashed thru the wall!! Just a second...something's coming in....That was the Ski Station. They've just won....the DOWNHILL!”
Lu: “Well...there you have it...the first pair to skate err...ski...er...Ummmm...we’ll be right back after these messages.”
~Commercial 1~
~Shot of Katherine with her lips stuck to a flagpole.~
Lu: “Oh, my...what HAS happened to our Katherine???? She should have used Chafstick!”
Katherine ~giving Lu the death glare~: “I can not BELIEVE you contracted me for these commercials. You're going to PAY for this. Pay and pay and PAY and...”
~enter Munchkins~
“When you’re out and about
Remember...Don’t POUT
So your lips don’t stick...use CHAFstick...use CHAFstick”
To be continued...(as soon as we finish more HTML)
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Replies:
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OMG... this is hilarious! Keep up the good work! -- Cinders- ps- i ski :), 16:42:39 02/27/02 Wed
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ROFTL!!! You guys, this was hilarious! More, more! Hurry up with the HTML already!! -- CQ still LOL, 16:45:39 02/27/02 Wed
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Lu and Katherine, this is wonderful!! You two are so funny. Eagerly waiting for more.... -- LiJo, 16:57:11 02/27/02 Wed
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I love it! Can't wait until part two! -- Rainbow, 17:02:20 02/27/02 Wed
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ROTFLOL! That was hilarious, you two! -- AmandaW (but the *window*?? Geez, some people show *no* respect to us jogging champs.....), 18:13:14 02/27/02 Wed
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I'm not going to say it was great, I'm not going to say it was wonderful......only b/c if I do, then I know you'll say, "If you thought this was great, just wait until >insert any poster's name< has their air time." And frankly......the future of this worries me a bit!!!!!!!! -- C, 19:04:06 02/27/02 Wed
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ROTFLOL! Ok, guys, keep reminding me not to drink anything while I read these.....too funny! -- KrisL., now has little rainbow spots on her monitor...., 19:36:23 02/27/02 Wed
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I want BUD! I want Gunny.... Now! Please. Aw, couldcha wouldcha, make me happy.... Harriet in the skeleton competition. Thank you. And by the way, ROTFLMGO!!!! THANK YOU!!! -- Frances, 06:42:31 02/28/02 Thu
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Bud and Gunny will be here. ALl in good time. This thing is LONG. LOL! -- Luoodles, 07:44:09 02/28/02 Thu
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ROTFLOL!!! -- Aria, 08:45:59 02/28/02 Thu
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Hi guys. This is hilarious. I am sitting here crying. Thank you so much for the laugh or cry!! You know I miss you guys so much and kind of feel like an outsider, which makes me sad that I am not part of your community anymore. I have tried to get interested in JAG again but I just could not. Anyway, I am going to check here periodically for the next part. Here is a high five for you. -- Rosie, 09:45:21 02/28/02 Thu
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PART TWO Inside -- Katherine (Thanks for all the kind comments!), 10:12:07 02/28/02 Thu
Lu: “Um...Welcome back to the broadcast. We now take you to the big hill for the Men’s slalom. CQ, are you there?”
CQ ~thumbing through TV Guide and whistling~
Lu: “KatRose...how ‘bout you?”
KatRose ~filing nails~ “Hey CQ...how about passing the popcorn?”
Lu: “And I wonder why I have all these hegg eggs. ARRRRGGGGHHH!.”
CQ: “Here ya go...hey KatRose...”
KatRose ~crunch, crunch, crunch~ "HEY! Are you spitting kernels back in the pan?”
CQ: “What? Why, I NEVER! I would ne...Hmm...I think Lu wants us...Yes...she seems to be waving or something. Oh, I think she has another headache. Look how the poor thing is holding her head in her hands. You know, she really should see about ...”
Lu: “You’re ON the AIR...”
KatRose: “Whoooppssss! Errrr...Hello...Tee hee hee.”
~Lu heaves a heavy sigh~
CQ: “Welcome to the big hill...Mount Very High Up There...for the Men’s Slalom. What the heck IS a slalom anyway?”
KatRose: “How the heck should I know? I’m lucky I know how to walk, much less ski! I tried the beginner’s slope once from about half-way up, started accelerating and....”
CQ: “And what?”
KatRose: “Well...let’s just say I had a close encounter with a fence and some hay bales.”
CQ: “Didn’t you take lessons?”
KatRose: “...I got kicked out before they taught us how to stop...”
CQ : “Oh MY! Well...uh...Moving right along...our first competitor is none other than Harm Rabb, who is favored to win the gold.”
~Lu suddenly becomes much more interested in the proceedings~
KatRose: “Earlier today, Katherine sat down to speak with him and...Sorry...we seem to be having a bit of a problem w/the tape...”
~Lu's face drops, begins kicking and shaking VCR thingy~
~KatRose stares at Lu in alarm~
~Tape rolls~
~Lu looks happy~
Tape:
Katherine: “I’m joined today by the favorite in the Men’s slalom, Harm Rabb. Harm, welcome.”
Harm: “Thank you very much. I’m glad to be here.”
Katherine: “So...tell us...what’s it like to be able to ski without crashing into trees and such?”
Harm: “What kind of question is that?”
Katherine: “Well SOME of us are not very coordinated when it comes to having pieces of fiberglass strapped to our feet!”
Harm: “Oh, well, uh...it’s exhilarating!”
~Katherine looks amazed and wistful ~ ~
Katherine continues: “BTW, who the heck gave you the name ‘Harm’...What? Your mother didn't like you or something?" ~Katherine winks good-naturedly~
Harm: ~sticking thumb in mouth~ “She did TOO! She did she did she DID!!!” ~stomps foot~
Katherine: “Sorry...Sheesh...I was JOKING!”
~looking more closely~~
Katherine: “A..Are you??? Is he? ARE YOU HOLDING YOUR BREATH?!!! Oh for crying out LOUD! Is this guy for REAL?”
~BBBBBAAAAAANNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG...CCRRRAASSSHHH....BBBBBBOOOOOOOOMMMM... ~
~Harm is tackled in his chair and tips over backwards~~
Katherine: “LU!!!!! I TOLD you not to ruin this interview!!!”
Lu: “He was turning BLUE! I had to SAVE him!”
Katherine: “Goshdarnit...how did you know we were here?”
Lu: “I’m psychic?”
Katherine: “SECURITY!!!!! Well, that concludes the interview portion of our show...Good Luck Harm.”
~Back live~
Lu: "Pssstt.. Katherine! That’s my favorite part! Did you see how he helped me up? I think he likes me!"
Katherine: “You idiot. He wasn't helping you up! He was trying to get you OFF of him!”
~Lu begins tearing up~
Katherine rolling eyes: “Sorry, Ladies and Gentlemen, —that last part should have been edited out...Back to you Lu for commentary. Lu? Now where did she go? Oh well...back to KatRose and CQ. Ladies?”
KatRose: “Welcome back. Let’s watch as Harm Rabb makes his run for Olympic History!!!!”
CQ: “He’s received the start signal...and...”
KatRose: “...and.....”
CQ: “He’s not moving.”
KatRose: “Why isn’t he moving?”
~Close up on Harm's face~
KatRose: “ MY he has big eyes! They sort of... I don't know... seem to jump right out of his head, don't they? I never noticed that before... Well... anyway, someone give him a push. He's holding up the line. What the...OH NO!!!...RUN...EVERYONE RUN....”
A
V
A
L
A
N
C
H
E
!
!
!
Just before the chunks of ice and snow descend on the spectators, Katherine looks up and sees none other than our Lu tumbling down in a swirl of skis, poles Harm and a happy smile on her face.
CQ ~in a hurried, harried manner~: “We’ll be right back after these messages.”
Katherine: “Unbelievable.” ~shakes her head in disbelief and goes into the lodge for a mug of hot chocolate~
~Commercial 2~
Lu voiceover: “Have you ever been out on the slopes, all dressed in your snowsuit and realized you needed to use the facilities?”
~shot of Katherine skiing (yeah right)~
~Spectators applaud her stunning show of acrobatics~
Katherine: “WHERE is the BATHroom?!”
Lu voiceover: “Well...with GottaGoNow, you can prevent any disruption in your fun. These handy, dandy diaper-like thingys will keep moisture away from your precious bottom and allow you to continue your daily activities.”
Katherine: ~looking even more embarrassed~ “Yes. I just love them.”
Lu voiceover: “Not for use with small appliances or household pets.”
~Dead Silence~
Lu: “Kath???....Katherine???....KATHERINE!!!! Are you there?”
Katherine: “Oh yeah. I’m here. And soon, my lawyer will be here. I'm here calling T. Tam Tammie, Lawyer at Law.”
Lu: “Awwwww come on. I told you I’d give you 5% of my royalties.”
Katherine: “Believe me—you WILL be sorry for this.”
Lu: “Oh, all right. 10%. There! Are you satisfied? Look, you're killing the mood here, and ruining my precious time w/ Harmkins.”
~Lu, sitting in Harm's lap smiling sweetly, flicking bits of snow and debris out of his hair~
Katherine: “Is he all right? He looks like he's in pain."
Lu: “No. He's fine!” ~Lu to Harm: Aren'tcha, big guy?~
Harm: ~lip trembling~ "Mommie...."
Lu: “Yes, you just rest, dear. Lu will take care of you..... Folks, welcome back to the games. We now turn you over to...”
~Harm attempts to limp away~
Lu: “Ah ah AHH!” ~shakes finger at Harm and proceeds to handcuff him to chair~
~Harm begins to sob...~
Lu~back in Harm’s lap~: “Ahem... as I was saying! We now turn you over to our announcers C and MichelleB, who are over at the Biathlon course.”
MichelleB: “...and then what happened?”
~tap~
C: “Well...apparently Lu caught up w/ Rabb and....”
~taptap~
Lu: “LADIES!!!!!”
~taptaptap~
MichelleB: “Wwwwhhhhaaattttt!”
Lu: “Does NO ONE pay attention? You’re OONNNNNNN TTTTTHHHHHEEEEEE AAAAAIIIIRRRRRRRRR!!!”
~tap~
C: “Sheesh...she doesn't have to scream...”
MichelleB: “I know. She's SO irritating.”
Lu: “AAAAIIIIGGGHHHHHH!!!!!”
C: "There she goes again..."
Michelle: "Ahem.... Welcome to the Biathlon event. We’re not really sure what goes on here, but it involves shooting stuff on skis.”
~taptaptap~
MichelleB: “WHAT IS WITH THIS TAPPING SOUND????”
C ~listening~: “I don't hear anything...."
C~continuing~: "That’s right. And for the JAG team, we’ll see AJ Chegwidden and Clayton Webb duke it out for the gold.”
MichelleB: “Here they come now.”
C: “There seems to be some confusion.....”
MichelleB: “OH MY WORD!!!!! Webb just tripped Chegwidden!”
C: “He's DOWN. I think...I think...Medic!!!!!”
~taptap~
MichelleB ~knocking over chair~: “Forget the MEDIC! I'm COMING, A.J!!! You little hairless wonder! I'm COMING.”
~Michelle runs down mountain and falls on top of A.J.~
Michelle ~in husky voice~: “Saaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvveee me. Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvee me."
AJ: “I thought YOU were here to save ME???”
Michelle: “Oh yeah...right...well...lay still...I need to perform mouth-to-mouth...”
AJ: “Wha....? But I don't need mmmuuffunnnpphhhh... HELP! Somebody hel mmmuuffuunnnpphhhh.....”
~Startled Cameraman quickly switches back to C and Webb who are both staring in disbelief~
C~trying to regain composure~: “Uh... Ummm...So...Mr. Webb uh...I would say that was a hollow victory, what with tripping the Admiral and all.”
Admiral: “HEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!! mmmmmuuuuufffuuuuupppphhhh!!! mmmmmuuffupppphhh!!!!”
Webb: “Is he o.k???”
C: “Umm... I don't ... ummm....”
Michelle: “HE'S FINE!!!! Now, can I have some PRIVACY?????!!!!”
C: “Uh... as you were saying, Mr. Webb?”
Webb: “Look. I'm supposed to be on the EQUESTRIAN team. My horse is stuck somewhere up there in the TREES! I was just trying to get off the track. I didn't MEAN to trip him! Besides, when his hat fell off his head, I was temporarily BLINDED from the glare and…Sigh…Who is ORGANIZING this fiasco anyway??? And WHAT is with this THING tied around my WAIST????”
C: “Ummm... it's a Hula Skirt, and...we've all sort of agreed not to mention it...ALL the athletes are wearing them—they’re some sort of logo thingy.”
Webb: “Had I known that...”
~taptaptap~
C: “What IS that?”
Webb: "Sounds like Morse code to me...It says, "Someone help me. I can no longer feel my legs."
~C and Webb look perplexed~
~Lu still sitting in Harm’s lap, gives him a suspicious look~
~Harm shrugs and tries to look innocent~
Lu: “It's nothing...Don't worry, I'll take care of it...”.
Harm: “Whimper...”
C: “We’ll be right back after these messages.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Commercial 3~
Katherine: AAAAAIIIGGGHHHH!!!!!! runs past screen .... several angry polar bears following.
Lu from off camera: “It says here in the SCRIPT you're supposed to give them a friendly pat on the noggin and hand them the bottle of Cope. Then all of you lovingly join hands and sing the Cope Harmony Song as you toboggan down the mountain together..... Katherine? Katherine?”
Katherine: AAAAAAIIIIGGGHHHHHH!!! runs past again, flinging Cope bottles behind her. Bears appear to be gaining ground....
You’re going to pay Luuuu uuuuuuu!!!!!!!
~Katherine disappears into the woods~
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Oh my gosh!!! This was even funnier than the first part ladies! (And I'm not just saying that because I was in it!) You have to keep going, I want to find out who save Harmkins from Lu, the definitely not sane one! -- CQ, 10:37:05 02/28/02 Thu
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ROTFLMAOPIMP! Ok, I think I need one of those GottaGoNow thingies. What are you to on, and can I have some, please? ROTFLOL. -- KrisL., 12:09:42 02/28/02 Thu
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Very funny, ladies!!! I hope Harmkins will be okay soon.... first, trapped in the closet and now the chair... yes, and the bedroom too, I suppose... -- J-Bird, 12:16:51 02/28/02 Thu
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What's ReALLY funny is how darn close to accurate your portrayal of my skiing is! 
-- KatRose, 13:12:31 02/28/02 Thu
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I can't breathe!!!!!!! have to stop laughing so hard Thanks guys.. this is fantastic... SO.. when do we get the next installment???? -- Northstar, 13:12:43 02/28/02 Thu
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ROFLOLOLOL--this is hysterical!! Hubby is giving me odd looks again because I am cracking up in front of the computer once more. Keep it coming ladies! -- LiJo, 13:22:47 02/28/02 Thu
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Re: PART THREE Inside -- Katherine (I'm *trying* to hurry!!!!!), 14:44:22 02/28/02 Thu
~back live~
Lu: ~who has allowed Harm to go for a walk to regain feeling in his legs~: “We have an update on Admiral Chegwidden. He is just fine and Michy has taken him home to ummm...rest.”
Northstar: “Riiiiiiiiight.”
Lu: "Well that'swhatshetoldme! Frankly I don’t WANT to know what she did with him!!! Anyway, what are YOU doing here North?? Where’s Katherine?”
Northstar: “I’m temporarily taking over for her. Those bears from that maniacal commercial you contracted her for, chased her into the woods. Remember?”
Lu: “Oh yeah...Hope she’s alright...We now send you to the Speedskating event, hosted by PB and KrisL.”
KrisL: “So, did you order room service yet?”
PB: “No...these cheapskates aren’t picking up the tab.”
KrisL: "Oh...I thought Katherine said to bill everything to Lu?”
Lu: “Those idiots...IS there NO ONE HERE with a professional bone in their BODY? We're doing the...OLYMPICS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!!
PB: “Oh...Hi Lu.”
Lu: “You're ON. THE. AIR!!!!!!!!”
KrisL: “We are???”
Lu ~trying to climb over announcer booth~: "That's IT!"
Northstar: ~attempting to restrain Lu~: “They're on the other side of the MOUNTAIN, you IDIOT!"
Lu: ~shaking her fist at the onscreen images of PB and KrisL~ "And don’t think I missed that part about me picking up the TAB, either! Bunch of stinking buzzards. I don't know how they expect me to work with these people. I want a raise. A big FAT one, and a new car, and...and.. some more of those blue pills...." ~voice trails off~
PB: “Yes.. well.. umm...We’re here at the GoFast Arena for the Speedskating event. Tonight’s race features Sturgis Turner against Bud Roberts.”
KrisL: “This should be a rout.”
Frances: “Oh...you people have NO faith! None whatsoever. No one ever sticks up for Bud! I am so tired of..."
Northstar: “Umm...can we get someone up here from the BLA to take care of Frances??? Uh, wait, no...bad choice. Those people are ALL insane.”
Lu: “I'll call somebody from the Harmyboard, they'll help.”
Northstar: “NO!!! No no no no no no NO NO NO NO!”
Lu: “What?”
~Northstar whispers something in Lu's ear~
~Lu turns a brighter shade O’ Lu~
~Northstar whispers some more~
Lu: “You are KIDDING me!”
Northstar: “Nope!”
Lu grinning: “What's their addy again?”
Northstar: “OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Look, is Chris still here dropping off fans from the JAG Asylum? Good. Chris? Can you come here, please? Yes. Thank you. Chris, gag Frances, please. Yes. Thanks. And get Lu out of here too."
Chris: "Uh uh."
Northstar: “Why NOT?”
Chris: "She's drooling and her eyes are all glazed. I think she's got the RABIES!”
Northstar: “No dear, it is the RABBIES, and I know the cure. Somebody get me Jennifer, NTS. Yes. That's right. Yes. From over on the Mac board.”
~Jennifer shows up with friends and a picture of Harm (with a slash through it) cross-stitched on her pocket~
Lu: “AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGHHH!!! Help! Somebody call the Rose Garden! Somebody call the Rose Garden! Somebody call the Ro....”
~SWACK!~
Jennifer, NTS: “They met on the CURB, you DOLT! Now GET OFF THE STAGE! “
KrisL: “As we were saying...the race is about to begin.”
PB: “Roberts has the inside lane. He’s rounding the first turn.”
KrisL: “This is exciting folks. Turner has taken the lead on the second turn.”
PB: “Whoa—there’s a woman on the rink! Oh my GOSH—it’s...naaahhhh...can’t be...”
KrisL: “Yep—it’s her.”
PB: “Tammie????? What is she doing???”
KrisL: “It appears that she is chasing Turner!”
Tammie: “ I’m VICE PRESIDENT OF THE BLA—Pull over immediately!”
Turner: “What? I’m in the middle of...”
~OOOOOOOUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFFFPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHH~
PB: “OH NO—Turner has gone crashing into the wall!!!”
KrisL: “I don’t believe it—this is the upset of upsets folks!”
PB: “Roberts has won the gold!”
~PB faints~
KrisL: “Oh my GOSH! The BLA are RIOTING! They've...they're...they're DISMANTALING the ICERINK! They've gone BRESERK!!!!!”
Northstar: " I told you those BLA people were all insane...Sigh...Anyway, we’ll be right back after this short message, already in progress.”
~Commercial 4~
“...Just remember...they have WINGS....”
Katherine: ~looking mortified, flies away on cable whilst dialing cell phone~ “Hello...Rose Garden? I need to speak with Kathy...She’s my agent...Yes...I’ll hold..."
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What's beyond ROTFLyourAO & PIyourP? Because I'm there! LOL! Brava! I'll read the next part when I get home! -- MichelleB, 15:46:03 02/28/02 Thu
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ROTFLMAOPIMPUU (the UU is Until Unconscious). -- KatRose, 16:05:17 02/28/02 Thu
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Re: PART TWO Inside -- Em-Jay, 17:08:22 02/28/02 Thu
This is great. It the Olympics had be half as funny as this I might have watched it.
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OMG I am laughing SO HARD! I'm sorry--who did you refer to as the crazy ones???? Hmm...that's what I thought...From here on out NO ONE believe Ms. Lu when she says SHE's the sane one!!! But, this just proves that Katherine IS an alien.....LOLOLOLOL!!! -- Crosby ;), 19:50:51 02/28/02 Thu
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This is hilarious! The commercials are too funny, although I feel sorry for poor Katherine. I hope the olympiks continue, the closing ceremony should be quite an event! By the way, I'll help Webb with his horse hehehe! -- Sheila, 10:35:02 02/28/02 Thu
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Re: This is hilarious! The commercials are too funny, although I feel sorry for poor Katherine. I hope the olympiks continue, the closing ceremony should be quite an event! By the way, I'll help Webb with his horse hehehe! -- dannn, 10:11:38 04/13/02 Sat
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The commercials are too funny. -- 
, 23:21:07 05/18/02 Sat
A. We’re wasting time moving so slow. We should launch now.
B. Better to waste time, then waste lives.
Because I'm doing this for all of you, I'm hoping the party scene will be rolled forward and I won't have to spring for flowers to the wife.
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This is fantastically funny! LOL -- CindyB, 15:04:44 02/28/02 Thu
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PART FOUR Inside -- Katherine--we're getting there!, 15:50:39 02/28/02 Thu
~back live~
Marco ~peering between his fingers~: “These ‘women’ commercials! I can't believe they put this on tv. Sheesh! Like I want to know about this stuff... Give's me the cree...”
Lu: “YOU'RE MIKE IS ON MARCO!!!! Welcome back to the games. I’m not sure this is what the IOC had in mind way back when, but what can ya do? We now take you to JenniferNTS and Marco at the ConAir Rink for the Curling event.”
~Lu—heard off mike—“Curling??? What the heck kind of Olympic event is THAT?
Northstar: “Why do you keep asking me these things?”
~Lu shrugs~
Marco: “I’ll bet you 20 bucks that Mac wins.”
JenniferNTS: “But I already think that MAC is going to win.”
Marco: “I’ll betcha!”
JenniferNTS: >sigh< “But I just sai... Oh, nevermind...”
Lu: ~crying~ “Why does no one pay attention to me? I’m only doing my job. Didn’t you people read the memos?”
Marco: “Sorry Lu, but I'm really behind in my memo reading.... sort of like your e-mail reading... are you seeing the IRONY here, Lu???"
Lu: “Oh puleeze. You're going to throw that in my face NOW??? Look. You two start announcing or you're doing the next commercial. Kapish?”
Marco ~quickly~: "Here we are Ladies and Gents! Back at the Curling rink!"
JenniferNTS: “Yes, Marco, this is an exciting event. We have Harriet and Mac going head to head in this competition.”
Marco: “It appears the competitors are ready to begin Jennifer.”
JenniferNTS: “Yes, they’re making their way to the middle of the rink, Marco. Let’s listen in.”
Marco: “Uh-oh...there seems to be some sort of commotion.”
Lu ~sighing heavily~: “No doubt. What else would we expect?”
JenniferNTS: “I don’t believe it! Harriet’s been disqualified!”
Marco: “Let’s see if we can hear why.”
JenniferNTS: “This is scandalous. It seems that Harriet has been disqualified in the Curling event because....(wait for it)...she has a PERM!!!”
Marco: “That means Mac wins the gold! And her hair has never looked better!”
JenniferNTS: “OK...we’ll be back for more excitement after this message.”
~~~~~~~~~~
~Commercial 5~
Katherine:
“Can you hear me now? Good.”
~takes a few steps~
“Can you hear me now? Good.”
~takes a few more steps~
“Can you hear me now? Good.”
~takes a few more steps and falls in hole~
Lu: "Katherine? Katherine? Huh?? I can't hear her now!"
Katherine ~from hole~: “>SIGH<”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Back live~
Northstar: “How did you get her to tape all these things?”
Lu: “I told her it would be good publicity for The BLA.”
Northstar: “And she bought it?? LOLOL!”
~pause~
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!
~pause~
ROTFLOLOLPIMPLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
~Lu shoots Northstar a Luoodles look~
Northstar: “Ahem...sorry.”
Lu: “We now send...”
Northstar: “SNARKLOLOLOL!!”
~Lu slaps Northstar~
Northstar: “OW! Uh.. sorry... umm... continue...”
Lu: “We now send our audience out to the...WHOA...What is THAT?????”
Northstar: “It looks like...well...I don’t know what it is!”
Lu: “Uh oh!”
~A four-legged figure gallops out of the woods with two sack-like items draped over it~
Webb: “Hey!!! That’s my HORSE!!! Hey!!!! Spyglass!!!! I thought I’d never see you again!”
~Webb starts to run toward Spyglass~
Northstar: “What...or should I say WHO...is that on the horse?”
Lu: “Ummmm..I don’t know...Anyway, as I was saying...we now take you to...
~Just then, the horse and it's uneasy riders charge Lu~
Lu: "AAAAAAAIIIIIGGGGGGHHH!!!!! GACK! No! Stop! Whoa Nellie! SIT! ...”
Webb: “His name is Spyglass—not Nellie!”
Lu: “Who cares!? Make him STOP!”
~As the horse nears Lu, the riders of said animal come plainly into view~
Lu ~continuing~: “Heel! WALKIES! STAY!!”
~Looking more closely~ “Hey wait.... It’s Katherine and Amanda! Katherine!”
~Both riders stare at Lu with daggers in their eyes~
Lu: “Slow DOWN! You're going to run into..”
~THUD~
Lu: “...me!”
Northstar: “Amanda...what happened?”
Amanda: “Well...We just ran into Lu with our horse and now she has this big hoof print on her forehead and…”
Northstar: “I mean how did you get on the HORSE and WHERE have you BEEN??!!!”
Amanda: “Oh…Well, you see, I was jogging in the woods and you know, you would THINK there would be SIGNS! I mean this is AMERICA for crying out loud! Who ever HEARD of having WOODS with no SIGNS! A person could be lost forever out there in that wilderness!”
Northstar: “Wilderne.. Are you talking about the PARK? It's ... I don't know.. MAYBE an acre! How could you possibly...oh nevermind. Then what happened?”
Amanda: “Well.... then I rescued this poor, lost horse and...”
~Spyglass snorts~
Amanda: “O.K. O.K. The horse found me. Anyway... this horse found me and I figured I could just, you know...like ride to the edge of the forest...”
Northstar: “It's a PARK, Amanda...”
Amanda: “Oh ALRIGHT, the PARK. Are you going to let me finish telling my story or NOT?”
Northstar: “Sorry. Continue...”
Amanda ~glaring at NS~: “...when all of the sudden, KATHERINE comes tearing through the trees and is being followed by a bunch of BEARS! I thought I was going to die!”
Northstar: ~realizing camera is ON~ “Sorry folks...while we straighten this out...let’s send you out to the Bobsleigh course where the two-man competition is about to begin. CatMom4 and Amy...are you there? Please be there...”
Amy: “Yes, we’re here North. Hope everything works out there...”
Lu ~interrupts~ “Wait a minute...Just wait a darn minute! ‘I’ve’ been trying to introduce people for 11 days now, and it has been an unmitigated disaster! Not ONE person was ready! And they completely ignored me! HOW is it that the first time NORTHSTAR introduces people, everyone pays attention and all goes well???????????”
Northstar: "Um.... because you're an incompetent idiot and I'm no..."
Lu: “CATMOM! CATMOM4!!! Northstar is being MEAN to me... This is going to set my therapy back 6 months!!!”
CatMom4: “Easy Lu, I'm sure she didn't mean it.”
Northstar: “Yes, I did.”
Catmom to Northstar: “You MANIAC! What are you DOING!?? I am NOT going to suffer through six more months of sessions with this loon because of YOU!!! I've only seen her twice, and already half of my staff has quit, my partner jumped off the roof, and I'm beginning to question my OWN sanity!! Now keep you mouth SHUT, or I'm giving her your address! ~cough~ ummm...Now, where were we, dear? Oh yes. It's simple, Lu. Amy and I...well...we just read the memo.”
Lu: “AAAAAAIGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!”
CatMom4 ~startled, jumps 4 feet~: “WHAT!!!!”
Northstar: "Hey, I didn't say ANYTHING."
Amy: “Anyway...we’re here for the two-man bobsleigh competition. First up are Sergei and Gunny. I think they make a fine team.”
CatMom4 ~climbing down off the curtains, still eyeing Lu~: “Well, they’re certainly fit and have the necessary speed.”
Amy: “Here they go...they’re pushing off...”
CatMom4: “They’ll need a good start to catch the leaders...”
Amy: “OH NO!!! Gunny slipped. I hope this won’t hurt them too much.”
CatMom4: “Well...they’re picking up speed....and it looks like...”
Amy: “AAAAAAHHHHHHH...they’re going too fast...they’re going too....I can’t watch!”
~SSSSSSWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH~
CatMom4: “It appears that the sled has left the track...they’re in the air...they’ve landed on... the...they’re...they’re...where did they go?”
Amy: “UP...they went UP!!!! They’ve broken the sound barrier and...”
CatMom4: “They’re orbiting the Earth. Oh my...if that wasn’t a gold medal performance, I don’t know what is!”
Amy: “Way to go my true love, Sergei! Ummmm...We’ll be right back after these messages.”
~Commercial 6~
REGROW FOR WOMEN
Lu: “Ladies, we know that since you hit 40 you're hair falls out faster than you can say ‘GACK!’ That's why we have this NEW product just for you. SEE it's in a PINK bottle...and that makes ALL the difference. Our model Katherine shall demonstrate!”
Katherine ~glaring~: “But I'm not bald! Get away from me! What are you doing with that wax? That's for LEGS!”
Lu: “Don't worry, Kath, the ReGrow will grow it right back for you. Now hold still this won't... Ufff...Take...OW...QUICK KICKING! A minute..RRRRRRRRIIIIPPPPPP!!!!
Katherine: “AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGHHH!!!! Ow Ow Ow!”
Lu: “Oh don't be such a BABY! Here, let me dump a bit of this ReGrow on you and...”
Katherine: “AAAAIIIIGGGGH! It BURNS! What's IN this stuff?”
Lu: “Let's see here....99% rubbing alcohol, 1% turf builder...”
Katherine: “Something's....funny....”
Lu: “Is it your hair? You can feel it growing already?”
Katherine: “I'm not sure... something's happening to...”
~SPROING! SproingSproingSproing SproingSproingSproing!!!!~
Lu: “AIIIIGGGGHHHHH!!!!”
Katherine: “What? What is it?”
Lu: “Uh...nothing...Nothing at all... ummmm...Why do you ask?”
Katherine: “SOMEBODY GET ME A MIRROR!”
Lu: “My! LOOK at the TIME! Umm....I've got to be going now.. I'll um...talk with you later. BYE!~~~~~~~!!!!!!!”
Katherine: “Get back here! You get back he...” ~someone hands her a mirror~
Katherine: “AAAIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”
Lu: ~running away with Katherine chasing her~: “I'm telling you, Kath, broccoli hair is VERY attractive. Really. I'm sure Carrot Top and you could have a REAL future together!”
Katherine ~with steam flowing out of her ears~ “YOU....You...my friend...are GOING to be sorry...VERY VERY sorry...”
Lu: “We now return you to your regularly-scheduled programming.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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BRAVO!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!! You ladies did a SPLENDID job of putting this together. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard and so much. I am still laughing..... -- Northstar - who will be sending the dry cleaning bill and the computer repair bill to both of the writers!!!!!, 16:20:20 02/28/02 Thu
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OMG! I can't freaking BREATHE! ROTFLMAO -- KrisL., 16:30:51 02/28/02 Thu
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What happen to Men's Nude Ice Skating? TOO funny!!! Thank you so much for starting my day with a smile, a serious drool, and hiccups! -- Fran-hic-ces, 06:31:38 03/01/02 Fri
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PART FIVE--THE END!!!! Inside -- Katherine (and a sigh of relief was heard 'round the world!), 16:08:52 02/28/02 Thu
~back live~
Katherine ~smoothing her hair~: “Welcome back to the closing ceremonies. Thanks for filling in for me North. I certainly see that things went far better for YOU!!! AHEM!...As I was saying...we hope you’ve enjoyed our...ummm...Olympics.”
Lu: “Yes, they’ve been spectacular, haven’t they?”
Katherine: “Didn’t I tell you to stay QUIET??? You’ve caused ENOUGH damage. I’ll be surprised if anyone ever speaks to us again!”
Lu: “It’s just that...”
Katherine: “Zip it!”
~Lu pouts~
Katherine: “Let’s go over to the ThankGodThisIsAlmostOver Stadium where Dancer and Livia are standing by with commentary on the closing ceremonies. Dancer?”
Lu: "You put Dancer and Livia... together? Are...are they still... alive????"
Katherine: “Oh HUSH! They're FINE.”
Dancer: “Thanks Katherine. Welcome to the closing ceremonies for the XXVVICMMGONAVYMMIVIIXL Olympic Winter Games. We have a spectacular show for you tonight.”
Livia: “That’s right Dancer. Here come the athletes now.”
~Enter Athletes~
Dancer: “Here come the ice skaters. It appears that Tiner was injured He seems to be wearing a ... gosh, I've never seen a bandage there before.....And is that Singer in handcuffs?”
Livia: “Looks like it to me. Also entering the arena are pairs’ skaters Renee and Mic, who, oddly enough, won the downhill.”
Dancer: “What? Oh yeah—they did. And now, we have the Admiral coming into view. Why is he wearing an oxygen tank?”
Livia: “The Michelle incident—remember?”
Dancer: “Please, I'm trying to forget.”
Livia: “There’s Webb with his horse. I’m glad they reconnected.”
Dancer: “Me too. Here comes Turner on a gurney. That was a nasty spill he took during the speedskating event.”
Livia: “I know. Awful...And here’s our GOLD MEDAL winner, Bud Roberts. My, he looks proud!”
Dancer: “Yes. Well, uh, you know...those speed skating outfits leave nothing to the imagination. ~cough~ Anyway, that was certainly an exciting race. I think I see Mac and Harriet from the curling competition coming into view. Seems Harriet has had her hair straightened.”
Livia: “Yes. We’re lucky that was the only scandal of these games.”
Dancer ~cough~: “I agree, Livia. It’s a shame that Gunny and Sergei are still orbiting the globe. I know they would have enjoyed the upcoming performances.”
Livia: “Let’s go to Spoiler King for an on-the-field-interview with some of tonight’s performers.”
SK: “Thanks Livia. I’m here with Serena and Cinders of the JAG Cheerleaders, who will be performing formidable acts. Serena...tell us...what are your plans for tonight’s performance?”
Serena: “I’m not telling.”
SK: “But Serena...it’s my job to give people the spoilers.”
Serena: “Nope. Not telling.”
SK: “Cinders...can YOU give me any details?”
Cinders: “Well...I’m not exactly a Cheerleader. I have the flying monkeys act.”
SK: “ooooohhhhhhhh...good...good...can you tell me what they’ll be doing?”
Cinders: “No.”
SK ~beginning to tear up~ “But...I HAVE TO KNOW.”
Cinders: “Can’t tell. Only Katherine and Lu know—we hope!”
SK ~sobbing~ “I hate you I hate you! You've told EVERYONE else but ME! You're so mean to me! I'm NEVER going to watch the Olympics again! What's your address? I have some ....”
Dancer ~looking VERY alarmed interrupts SK~: “UMMM!!! Thank you SK, Serena, and Cinders.”
~SK just then notices Dancer and lunges~
Dancer: “AAAAAAAIIIIIGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!”
SK: “YOU!!!!! I've been waiting SIX STINKING MONTHS waiting to find out what's going to happen in DREAMLAND!!! I want to know RIGHT NOW! I'm sick of ....HEY!”
~hook from off camera grabs SK and pulls him off stage~
~Loud commotion and yelling ensue off camera~ "Somebody call Lijo STAT! This one's worse then LU!"
Lu: “Wha? HEY!!!”
Dancer ~grasping for her glasses, which are now sideways on her head~: Meanwhile...let’s hear from another of our performers, Oldspice. She’s standing by with our very own Mira.”
Mira: “Thanks Dancer. I’m here with Oldspice who will be giving a live rendition of her weekly ‘Mindless Friday Poll’...Oldspice...care to give us a preview?”
Oldspice: “Sure. Here’s the first question: If all the JAG characters go to the Olympics, who would be the most likely strangle Lu and why? Is it (a) Webb—because she bruised his horse with her hard noggin (b) Harm—because she caused paralysis of his lower body (c) Mac—because she caused paralysis of Harm’s lower body (d) AJ—because she let Michelle get near him (e) other.”
Mira: “Thanks Oldspice. That sounds like something worth waiting for. And I’d definitely go with “a”. Good luck tonight.”
Oldspice: “Thanks Mira.”
Mira: “OK, back to Livia in the booth.”
Livia: “OK...we’re ready for our first act. It’s GOTB singing his hit single, ‘La La La La La’.”
~crowd swoons~
GOTB: “La La La La...La La La La La...”
GOTB’s Backup singers (Lijo, ground control and JagFan1) : “Dooo Waaaa Dooo Waaaa...”
GOTB: “La La La La La...”
Backup Singers: “Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
~crowd goes WILD~
Dancer: “My...that was inspirational. Let’s go backstage where our very own Aria is waiting to interview GOTB. Aria?”
Aria: “Hi Dancer. I’m so excited, because I’m here with GOTB, who just gave the performance of his life! GOTB...sing it one more time!”
GOTB: “La La La La La...”
Aria: “I think that’s my favorite song. ’La La La La’...”
GOTB: “La La La.”
Aria: “I could listen to you sing all night. But...what was your favorite part of the games?”
GOTB: “Bud.”
Katherine: “HE SPEAKS!!!! HE SPEAKS!!!! GOTB HAS SPOKEN!!!!! Did you get it on tape?”
~Grabbing Cameraman by collar~ “TELL ME YOU GOT IT ON TAPE!!!”
Cameraman ~giving Katherine a STRANGE look~: "I got it on tape."
Katherine: "I'm gonna be famous!" ~Thud~
Aria: “Back to you Dancer!”
~Meanwhile~
~Katherine w/ yellow pages and phone~
Katherine: “Let's see here...who to call...who to call...Oh yes...here it is: ‘Wipley's You'll Never Believe This’. 1-800-NO KIDDIN...Waiting...waiting.....’Hello, you have reached Wipley's You'll Never Believe This. If you care calling about a Big Foot Sighting, Please press ONE. If you are calling about the Alien, Please press 2. If you are calling about Livia, the newest Shipper, Please press 3. If you are calling for any other reason, Please press 4. ~Katherine presses 4~ ‘Hello...this is the operator...may I help you?’...”Yes—OPERATOR...GOTB SPOKE!!! HE SPOKE!!!!! Get that interviewer guy out here ON THE DOUBLE!” ~click~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Commercial 7~
Katherine: “Say it.”
Lu: “No way!”
Katherine: “Say it NOW!”
Lu: “You can’t make me!”
Katherine: “Say it NOW or your ‘boyfriend’ goes over the cliff.”
Lu: “OK! OK! I’ll do it.”
Katherine: “That’s better.”
Lu: “If you suffer from the itching and burning often associated with hemorrhoids, try Prepared X...for fast relief.”
Katherine: “OK—now what?”
Lu: “I can’t.”
Katherine: “See ya later flyboy...”
Lu: “WAIT!!! I'll do it, I'll do it....""
~Lu moons audience~
Lu: “It leaves your hiney feeling cool and comfy.”
~Audience (and Harm) gasp and go blind~
~Lu starts sobbing~
Katherine ~snickers~ ”GOTCHA!!!!”
Dancer: “Well...there you have it folks. We now send you to the network, for a special message from our sponsor...”
Donald Bellisario: “This concludes the JAGnik Olympiks.”
~DPB, not realizing we can still hear him~ “Harriet, get Legal on the phone.”
Harriet: “They’re on hold.”
Disclaimer: No animals, Aliens, JAGniks or Gluoodlers were hurt in the writing of this novel. Furthermore, no JAG characters were physically harmed. However, we cannot say the same for the JAGniks’ egos. Bummer. If you have complaints—email Lu. It was all HER IDEA!
Lu: “No it wasn’t.”
Katherine: “Let’s write something together she said.”
Lu: “But the subject was your brilliant idea...”
Katherine: “Wait a minute...did Harriet just say she has legal on hold?”
Lu: “Ummmmm...I dunno...lemme scroll up...AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!”
Katherine: “R U N N N N N!!!!!!!!”
THE END ~stop clapping~
P.S. A VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR ROSIE WHO ALLOWED US TO GUNK UP HER BOARD W/TESTING THE HTML...ROSIE—WE LOVE YOU!
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ENCORE!!!! ENCORE!!!!!!!!!!! -- Northstar - thanking the ladies for including me in this wonderful piece of writing, 16:22:31 02/28/02 Thu
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You should market this as a great ab workout! I have tears rolling down my face, I can't breathe and my boss is giving me even stranger looks than normal and I'm blaming YOU TWO! I will definitely be saving this entire thing for posterity and potential blackmail material. -- KatRose, 16:27:44 02/28/02 Thu
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FANTASTIC!!! I AM ROTFLMAOPIMP!!! GREAT JOB, LADIES!!! -- Tam, 16:56:30 02/28/02 Thu
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ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- AmandaW, 17:05:03 02/28/02 Thu
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Re: PART FIVE--THE END!!!! Inside -- Em-Jay, 17:31:56 02/28/02 Thu
Brilliant Work, I love the adverts!!
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I got to sing with GOTB!! What an honor!! This is so funny. I'll need to print it out and save it for when I'm feeling down. What a riot!! -- LiJo, 18:15:11 02/28/02 Thu
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This was all fantastic ladies! Thanks for sharing your talents (and insanities) with us! -- C, 18:30:26 02/28/02 Thu
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YES!!! I got to be the musical commentator! (But why couldn't you have had a closing ceremony with me singing with JOSH GROBAN too!!! j/k) -- Aria (thats what I get for listening to Josh's cd while posting, LOL), 19:36:11 02/28/02 Thu
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I thank you for the inclusion in this story, but I'm not sure I like my role. Hmmmmmm Ok, I thought about it, I LOVE it. I can't believe how well this is written. My neighbors have called the paddy wagon, so I gotta run and flee the butterfly nets. 
-- S.King, 23:27:38 02/28/02 Thu
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THIS WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- CQ, 00:58:48 03/01/02 Fri
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OMG I'm ROTHFLM6OPIMP!!!!! This was hillarious!! just what i needed this Friday. You guys should do this more oft....(mobs of people jump Cinders). -- Cinders- p.s. loved my part:), 17:46:24 03/01/02 Fri
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Don't tell me we have to wait for the next Olympics to get another one of these! -- Danie, 07:06:57 03/03/02 Sun
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