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Date Posted: 19:46:46 11/15/01 Thu
Author: Petty
Subject: Hi all!

Its been a long time since I posted on any LFN MB but here goes.

I went through a verrrrry loooong period of denial, just not believing that the show was gone. I'm still not out of the woods yet, but...

I admire everyone's courage on this board to move on and I understand things change. I keep reading about everyone moving on to other shows and I'm just not ready to do that yet.

I just got too emotionally involved in LFN, damn it all! Now I read on Chris's board that some fans are planning a Witchblade con in Toronto next year. Now that I'm definitely not up to. No offense to WB fans out there. I've watched it a couple of times but just couldn't get into it. I watched it mainly for the recycled LFN props that the production crew were using.

Please forgive this message, I'm just PMSing and was feeling very low right about now.

On an OT related matter, I recently made the decision to seek therapy (to deal with another matter that I've kept locked in my heart for over 40 years) because my defensive mechanisms were always the same: anger, denial and then shame. I was always resetting these three feelings in that order. I've determined that LFN was when I was going through my "denial" stage and now I'm smack dab in the middle of facing my feelings and I just couldn't cope with it alone. I guess I had my own "Section" that I had to break out of. Now that I'm out, I need to figure out where do I go from here.

As always you guys are the best. A lot of the "regulars" who used to post have moved on to other things and interests and that's a good thing. I still see a few familiar faces on here.

Thank u Susan W for this!

I still have the $hit load of music I've collected from my LFN obsession that I still listen to and my tapes of the episodes. I'm listening to "Love Thieves" right now as I type this. That song always did make me cry. For the longest time I couldn't even listen to it because it took me back to Season 1 Nikita and brought back so many memories.

But I had to post on a LFN MB just for old times sake.

Didn't mean to go on and on, but as always I'm not crying because LFN is over. I'm still happy that a guy by the name of Roy Dupuis said yes to playing Michael, easily the most fascinating character I've ever come across in any medium (be it movie, TV show or work of fiction). I'm still peeling the layers from Michael Samuelle. Thank you Roy Dupuis for your "ownership" of this character.

Thank you PW for Nikita. I was with you in the beginning even if the writers found it necessary to take Nikita in another direction by show's end. I was ambivalent about you when the last note of the theme song played on March 4, 2001.

Send some hugs my way. I'll be back to chat with you from time to time. Just don't ask me to do another show right now.

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Replies:

[> Re: Hi all! -- Erin Goeller, 00:50:08 11/16/01 Fri

I understand exactly what you have been going through. I have been going through it myself. I found that I myself got too emotional involved in the show. It is my all time favorite show. I tried to get into a new show, but I just couldn't. I have almost every episode on video. I watch them as often as I can. I also have the two books about LFN that I look through a lot and the CD of the music from the show. The song "Love Thieves," always made and makes me cry. I always think of Michael and Nikita missing each other, and the love they have for each other, that can never be destroyed. I am so happy that RD played Michael and made the character his own. I think he is on of my all time favorite characters also. I am also happy that PW stuck will the series for so long and how she made the character of Nikita such a multi-faceted woman. She had such conflicting emotions. I just really like the chemistry between RD and PW. The pairing of there two characters was so wonderful and I loved their relationship, like no other relationship between a man and a woman in any television series. Nikita was not multi-faceted when it came to her deep relationship with Michael and her true love for him. I was devastated when in the series finale, Nikita and Michael did not end up together, and start a life together. They should have at least been allowed that after all they have been through. TPTB should have given the fans that much. I was wondering if you could tell me what props from LFN the series Witchblade has used? I am very curious because I watched a few time and I didn't notice this. Keep the memories of LFN and the many season of the show, watch your tapes, listen to the music, which will all help. It helped me so much and brought up my spirits. The one other thing that I did that really helped me was writing LFN stories. They weren't all that good, but I wrote some and then read over them. They made me happy and I really enjoyed writing stories about the characters and coming up with missions to put in my stories. To me, it is an outlet to express your emotions and make the series exist again in my heart.


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[> [> The most noticable is Operation's perch (now filled with books) and the entrance below it...also some of PW costumes, I believe. -- PJ, 04:43:46 11/17/01 Sat


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[> Earlier this year, I am discussing with a therapist some events (family illness, natural disaster) that have left me emotionally reeling, and like any good therapist, she asks if there is anything else happening that could be contributing to the feelings I am experiencing. Feeling a bit sheepish, I say, "well, there was this television show ..." and without naming the show, I speak about the online community of fans, the fun it has given me me over the years, and the sadness I feel as the community becomes less active -- more than just the end of a favorite entertainment. And the therapist asks "Would this be La Femme Nikita?" LOL! I'm laughing and thinking -- oh no, do therapists know of us? Are we Women Who Mourn LFN?! I'm reassured to learn that she has a friend who "kept trying to get me to watch her tapes" -- one of us, lol! I may not know exactly where I'm going from here, but LFN memories go with me ["Ah yes -- I Remember It Well ...."] -- trish lyn, 18:03:26 11/16/01 Fri


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[> [> ROTF trish lyn! We have a new acronym - TWWMLFN. Too funny... -- Shirleym, 02:34:34 11/22/01 Thu


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[> Re: Hi all! -- Fenja, 19:00:46 11/16/01 Fri

I downloaded the goodbye scene from the last S5 ep and it took me about a month to be strong enough to watch it. I already knew how the show ended but it was hard to watch that scene.
I haven't seen some of the Season 4 eps and none of the season 5 eps because norwegian TV3 stopped sending LFN.
Now I watch my tapes, from S1-S4, usually only my fav eps.
I don't think about Season 5 at all. For me, that season was never made, lol! When I read on the boards what Roy and Peta are doing now, it's easier to accept that LFN is over.


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[> {{{{{{{{{{Petty}}}}}}}}}}}}} {:-} -- tee, 22:06:05 11/16/01 Fri


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[> Hugs to you, Petty! I think a lot of us feel the same way (r) -- Jaron, 01:31:47 11/17/01 Sat

I know that I, too, feel that the character of Michael as played by RD IS the most fascinating character I've ever come across. His aura of mystery, tragedy and vulnerability is so compelling...I'm hooked for life. Thank goodness for fanfiction.

And you're not alone. I've met hundreds of women who have shared themselves with others of like mind...women of all ages, various economic backgrounds with one thing in common, a fascination with a man in black called Michael. Good Luck to you and don't stay away for very long. {{{Petty}}}


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[> [> Amen, Jaron...(r) -- Jane, 22:35:27 11/19/01 Mon


It's been a Devastating Time
For Us all, I believe....

& Most Certainly T'was
Excellent Therapy
To find Others who
Felt as we did about
This Show...

An Assurance we found
That we weren't
Totally Crazy to Love
A mere Fiction so Intensely....
& a Certain Fiction
To Absolute Distraction...*g*...

Most of Us,I feel...
Were rather Shocked &
Perhaps a bit Frightened
To realize just how
Obsessed we were....

To find others of
The Obsessed so...Accepting....

Saved my self Image for Certain...

We are still With you, {{{{{Petty}}}}}...
Just....Alone....Again...

Love,
Jane


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[> I think I understand how you're feeling...there's a strange void. But I still can't listen to the music. When ever I catch PJhub playing some, he's kind enough to change to something else. I hope that some day I'll be able to listen to this music again. Ditto on what you said about Witchblade. -- PJ, 04:40:29 11/17/01 Sat


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[> {{{Petty!!!}} It's so good to see you here again (r) -- Shirleym, 11:44:35 11/17/01 Sat

Good for you for getting therapy for whatever your own private "prison" is. YGG! We all our Sections and it's the healthiest thing we can do to work through them and become more and more ourselves with each passing day. LFN, Roy and Peta's honesty in acting, and Susan2's message board helped me to work on being honest with myself about who I really am and not who people want me to be. There will never be anything like LFN again in my life. It was so much more than a TV program... I've never been so mesmerized by a show and so addicted to an actor for his expression of exactly what I feel in life.

And anyway, it's *not* over. When the DVDs come out, I'm going to edit the whole series JUST the way I like it. :D :D :P LOLOL

I hope you come here to visit once in a while. We've missed you. :-)


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[> I don't feel the loss of the show itself so much because I felt it had already been lost during the last couple of seasons, but I feel strongly the loss of the "community" that developed. It has definitely left a void in my life. It pops up in strange places, too. I was clearing out a closet of clothes that don't fit anymore and it included a couple of evening gowns. I suddenly thought that getting rid of them didn't matter because the only reason I had to get that dressed up meant I had to spend a $1000 and fly to Canada, LOL. Life is strange but LFN gave me some of its strangest and most memorable moments. -- Zzoo, 12:38:10 11/17/01 Sat


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[> I definately feel a loss of community too. I still have some old urls in my bookmarks. I went to one yesterday to look for quotes. (I'm doing an LCA calendar for some friends). The web site I checked was closed. I just let out a little 'oh' and a deep sad sigh. I know lots took down their sites but it still hit me kinda hard. -- Daishi, 01:05:57 11/18/01 Sun


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[> Re: Hi all! -- Erin Goeller, 13:59:45 11/18/01 Sun

I think it is great how some of you can now watch the goodbye scene at the end of the series last episode. I am still not able to watch it. I really don't think I want to and besides I know what happens, so I don't think I really need to see it. I now the show is over! The reason I think I can't watch it is because TPTB, didn't really give some of us who wanted it a happy ending. I thought Michael and Nikita would finally be given the chance to be happy. I was really wrong. I think that is why I won't watch it, also I am afraid it would make me cry.


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[> You guys are the greatest! Thanks for all the support. It got so bad for awhile that I couldn't even read the fan fiction but I just read an excellent one on SB 2, I think. It gave me a wonderful resolution to S4 & S5. Jaybee wrote it and its great! Check it out. I hope I do this right, but here's the link. http://www.voy.com/17030/ -- Petty, 12:37:43 11/20/01 Tue


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[> [> {{{Petty}}} It's a double loss, isn't it?--the loss of the show, and the community (or communities) as well. Part of the reason that I established this board was so that we could all have a low-key way of staying in touch. But, being an optimist (ususally!) I like to think that sometime, somehow, something really fabulous will come along and sweep me away again. With any luck, some of our old friends will be along for the ride. :-) -- Susan W., 22:40:22 11/26/01 Mon


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[> Re: Hi all! -- tina pierce, 20:24:11 12/05/01 Wed

Hi! I just read your message and I wanted to let you know I feel exactly the same way about the show being over. I used to live for Sunday nights. I'd watch the show and tape it at the same time just so I could watch it later. I'm glad I did that now. I can't get into the other stuff they put on, it's just not the same. I hope you are having a Happy Holiday season and good luck with your therapy. TinaP.


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