愛上好友的女友, 應否向她表白 --> Re 路人丙 -- QUEER SISTERS FORUM

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Subject: 愛上好友的女友, 應否向她表白 --> Re 路人丙

Author:
^sanbofan^

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Date Posted: 11:45:20 01/08/04 Thu

其實不太明白你說的, 但多好能在這裡交换看法..

估你說的是, (1)愛上了好友的女友, 下一部-->(2)向她表白
這都是個人撰擇.

如果不應愛上的, 總可以控制罷. 才不至會太澎湃.

表不表白, 不只是個人權利, 我估應會影響好友和你的關係. 這樣一般會被稱"撬老友牆腳". 視為不義. 這倒看你是否重視友情罷.

"表白未必一定存在不良的意圖或目的"這是對的,
也未必一定"不存在"不良的意圖或目的.

多一亊不如少一亊. "情感"是不能控制, "行為"卻是自我取捨的範圍.

有浪漫的劇場, 但"愛"不應超過"義". 抱上失義氣的罪疚, 嘗著愛的甜蜜, 一般人大概都不能做到...

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[> Subject: Re: 愛上好友的女友, 應否向她表白 --> Re

Author:
路人丙
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Date Posted: 12:23:20 01/10/04 Sat

簡單說,愛上了好友的女友,假如想表白一下就去做吧
不要屈在心裡
若然好友的女友也愛你,就成一段良緣
若不,你也叫對得住自己盡過力,該甘心安於那位置
而對方也不該向對自己honestly express feeling的人大驚小怪
好感是一種compliment, 不喜歡不想改變現狀大可let it go婉拒就可以
好友亦可大方面對,有人愛上女友不也是肯定自己的眼光?
假如你的女友愛你,你該有相信她會作出適當的决定
if you love a person, set her/him free...
何必被旁人目光,又或莫須有的罪名阻礙自己尋找"真愛"?

詳細說:
好友的女友也該有選擇權,秘而不宣可能是錯失良緣
也許被人暗戀的一方有知情權也不壞
只不過是表示好感,又不是毛手毛脚
大家成年人,不可以平常心大方處理麼?

愛上好友的女友不是什麼彌天大罪
愛無罪,又不是强迫對方接受自己
不過keep an option open for her
自律是不要强搶對方抽水,而不適用於適當的表白
你愛的人假如選擇別人,此事也許早晚也會發生...
她有接受別人的權利/機會,但依然婉拒別人去選擇你,不是比沒有知情權和選擇權跟著你好嗎?

再者假如大家是朋友,"良性競爭"有什麼問題?
所謂"keep住"一個女友也不代表霸著她,據為己用,
其實永遠大家也是在"試用期"內,不能坐定不欲...
當然對方若手段卑賤,根本就並非朋友,不在討論範圍以內

所謂對錯,所謂義與不義,所謂道德並非旁人能下判斷
舉例同性戀在很多眼中是不道德,不容於社會,
難道我們又因此要否定同志愛?

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[> [> Subject: 也好, 各有看法啦..-->

Author:
^sanbofan^
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Date Posted: 21:26:55 01/10/04 Sat

其實, 是旦啦.

不過我若愛上友人的女友, 會控制得到唔去馬啦..

等下啦.. 有人下車才上車不遲..

如友flirt自己女友,摸下腰咁, 電話談心, 我會好討厭佢.

如果你是我這種友人, 認為 "溝老友的女友" 沒問題?! 咁我做你老友會感到今世真不幸而走先0羅..

女友找誰都可以, 給老友找上會好hurt, 你有無hurt過你老友?我估你咁講可能有而不知啦..

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[> [> [> Subject: Lucky for you, always got the right timing huh?

Author:
路人丙
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Date Posted: 23:25:20 01/11/04 Sun

if下車or上車can be so easy, that's good for you. My experience is love don't come when you WANT to. It just comes as it will, and sometimes it fade away without you noticing it...
Anyway, 愛很多時侯身不由己,做人只能忠於自己,活在當中
遺憾往往來自wrong timing...或沒有好好把握
我並不鼓勵別人專挑"老友的女友來溝",
只是認為感情若是真誠,表白亦無妨.
不須受制於世俗眼光
何況表白不等於得到

另方面我早前回應,是有感你把直人美化了
什麼性向的人也可有簡單愉快的生活

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[> [> [> [> Subject: RE

Author:
^sanbofan^
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Date Posted: 11:22:42 01/12/04 Mon

I did not intend to 把直人美化. Maybe u got it wrong.
What cannot hide & cannot be denied is the trend (in subculture)to get partners in a wrong way. Thx much for sharing.

The standard of 忠於自己differs between us. Yours is "to get what you want", mine is "be true to inner conscience".
This is not moral talk, just a personal preference.

沒有好好把握 should be applied more correct way. Preferably when ypour target is now single, not when attached.

Hope a better world for lesbian soon.

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[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: RE

Author:
Passenger Bing
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Date Posted: 23:43:53 01/12/04 Mon

well well well, in my opinion,
there is no right or wrong or boundaries in love.
and what is "conscience" anyway? It can be constructed by our society, the so-called moral upbringing...or it might be inborn.
single or attached can mean a lot of things or nothing more than a label. Most important is your personal preference.
Anyway, i wish you well in your relationship and never fall in love with someone else when you are ENGAGED in a relationship.

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[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: RE

Author:
Passenger Bing
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Date Posted: 23:43:55 01/12/04 Mon