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Date Posted: 28/08/08 12:37pm
Author: Arthur Oncpe
Subject: Mobile Zit Removal Service

Hello

Having been a regular visitor to this highly humorous board for some years now I have hit upon an idea which my wife thinks would go down a treat with people that are afflicted with spotty faces.

I`m thinking of calling my new service: The Mobile Zit Removal Service To End All Mobile Zit Removal Services.
The website would be called www.huntazit.com.

The reason for such a long winded name is because I anticipate that members of this board, and other people worldwide, will try to steal my idea - hence the name.

A clever, gimmicky, marketing ploy that I have in mind is to leaflet drop police stations and local authority CCTV Units to ask if they would be willing (for a small fee), to identify people, be they young or old, who have spotty faces so that I can offer my new service to them.

Once he or she has been pointed out by one of the above authorities, I will seek them out, pounce upon them, remove their zits (with a device I have recently patented), this will very painless by the way, they won`t feel the blade or cosh at all, then thrust the bill for £367 into he/shes pocket.
If they fail to cough up within say 7 days the person will receive a friendly visit from the debt collection side of our firm.

I am thinking of setting up a franchise system and would love to hear from prospective master franchisees who think they have the right attributes and would be willing to roll up their sleeves and get on with the business at hand.

In the first instance it might be a good idea if we could perhaps meet in a derelict building somewhere where contracts could be signed, cash passed to me in a vast brown envelope, and the loose end in the way of a mutilated corpse or two being disposed of in the timely manner by one of my `friendly` associates (Lefty or Knuckles).

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely

Arthur Oncpe
CEO The Mobile Zit Removal Service To End All Mobile Zit Removal Services.

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Replies:

[> Re: Mobile Zit Removal Service -- Dinsdale Blenkinsop and Partners, 28/08/08 8:19pm

Mr Oncpe

I will be very brief and to the point if I may.

There are a lot of very unscrupulous characters frequenting this board one or two of which that act under the guise of bogus law firms.

I can`t go into detail but you will no doubt receive a paltry offer for your new service, which I might add is`nt unique but it is indeed an interesting proposition.

I will be blunt with you Onspe. Would you accept £25 cash for the sole rights to your Mobile Zit Removal Service To End All Mobile Zit Removal Services?

We are talking hard cash here. £25 is`nt to be sniffed at
and I must insist that you respond in the affirmative otherwise my offer will be withdrawn immediately.

Kind regards and without prejudice

Dinsdale Blenkinsop and Partners. Solicitors and Commissioners for Oaths and legalised thieves.


[ Edit | View ]

[> Re: Mobile Zit Removal Service -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq., 29/08/08 11:56pm

My Good Sir, Arthur Oncpe
CEO The Mobile Zit Removal Service To End All Mobile Zit Removal Services.

I noticed the reply to your franchise offering from one Dinsdale Blenkinsop and Partners, no offence to Dinsdale and his associates (some of whom are former employees of mine who suddenly left during a weekend training exercise in teamwork & trust building after the unfortunate hand grenade accident). I must caution you to have both Lefty and Knuckles heavily armed should you go forward with accepting his offer of £25 cash for your service.

I have discussed this at length with my associates Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall and we are prepared to not only offer the tidy sum of £50 cash but also make you the Chief Executive Officer of our cappuccino froth works. Our other associate Hamidi Azzizi (The Famous Sausage Maker), has expressed interest in the mutilated corpse or two being disposed of as the authorities have confiscated all his traps and have been patrolling the underground stations where he used to get his ingredients.

Sincerely,

Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> AR MOBILE CORNER -- Aamir, 29/07/09 10:29am

AR MOBILE CORNER

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[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> Re: AR MOBILE CORNER -- Aamir, 29/07/09 10:32am

>AR MOBILE CORNER
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[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> [> AR MOBILE CORNER -- Aamir, 29/07/09 10:40am

>>AR MOBILE CORNER
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[ Edit | View ]

[> Re: Mobile Zit Removal Service -- DoctorTwisted, 3/09/08 8:17pm

Here are <a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.doctortwisted.com">http://www.doctortwisted.com</a> we think that the idea rocks! I'd like the Russia franchise.


[ Edit | View ]

[> AR MOBILE CORNER -- Aamir, 29/07/09 12:19pm

AR MOBILE CORNER

Now get latest and meaningful sms on every topic for u r friends and family also send free sms world wide. Also get mobile unlocking codes free and wallpaper etc.

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[ Edit | View ]

[> AR MOBILE CORNER -- Sweet Friends, 5/08/09 3:24am

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[ Edit | View ]


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