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Date Posted: 16/11/06 6:16pm
Author: Frank (not my real name) (finally free for furtering)
Subject: Re: What is Furtering - Your Questions Answered
In reply to:
Freddy Frimp
's message,
"What is Furtering - Your Questions Answered" on
16/11/06 9:01am
Freddy,
It seems that while I thought I was furtively furtering, from your description I was only frivolously furtering. Finally my furtering can be filed under the proper form of furtering. I had feared that my furtering might be false, but I see now the format has finally fit with the furtering. With this fresh focus I can fearlessly move forth and find a way to add some finesse to my feeble furtering.
So I look forward to your finding the time to finesse a final answer as to exactly what type of fish is found to be most suitable for fledgling furterer’s. My first choice of fish would naturally fall to fried flounder, flying fish seem to be the only ones the fishmonger has on Fridays fortunately the fishmonger hands these out for free. So should I fry the flying fish or simply fillet the fish? Sorry to make such a fuss about fish but I fear I will be seen as a failure by my father for using either the wrong fish or frying it rather than the formal fillet’s while focusing on my furtering. Finally I must fess up for furtering in the shower using french dressing, for as long as I can remember I falsely furtererd under the fallacy of french as the formal furtering fashion.
I’ll get to the bacon in my next letter, for now I will fondly thank you for furthering my furtering by this fine fraternity of fellow furterers.
Farewell for now, for I must find a way to fix my fraudulent furtering by Friday.
Frank (not my real name)
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Replies:[>
Re: What is Furtering - Your Questions Answered -- Tortured Parents of a teenage furterer,
16/11/06 7:38pm
Freddy,
Thank you for clearing this up, me and the misses had been concerned about the boy. We both thought that since he was 13 it was just experimentation, we even have tried humor dropping comments like "you’ll go blind doing that" and examining the palms of his hands for hair growth. But your notice has opened our eyes, now it’s clear why occasionally whole fish are missing, and explains him sneaking mayonnaise when he goes to take a shower. Frankly me and the misses would rather he were normal and just "spanking the monkey" like others his age rather than this. Since he was 12 the misses has mentioned the odd grease stains on his sock and I often can smell bacon when he is in the room. Just last week we found him in the garden shed with the lawnmower and a dazed expression. As for the flatulence we also thought that was normal for a boy his age. The misses also just confided in me that for the past three years there have been odd finger sized holes in the marmalade from time to time.
We are at our wits end, what should we do? The misses wants to send him to military school but I just read where many of the famous generals were futerers including Admiral Nelson and Fidel Castro. Can you suggest a treatment, perhaps in Switzerland or some other remote place. We just cannot go through another embarrassing episode like the brother-in-laws 2003 incident, the neighbors are just now starting to look our way and give a tiny wave.
Tortured Parents of a teenage furterer
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