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Date Posted: 31/12/06 3:35pm
Author: Freddy Crotchbite (sneer)
Subject: Re: Own a piece of 2006
In reply to:
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
's message,
"Own a piece of 2006" on
29/12/06 10:18pm
In response to your offer, I would like to purchase the four minutes of 11.32am to 11.36am 12/5/06, also I would like to purchase four minutes, anywhere in 28/11/2006, but preferably somewhere near 11 o’clock. Reasons being beyond your business, but nevertheless fruitful for mine.
May I be the fourth to wish you a merry new year, and all the best for 2009.
I will be paying in cash, next year, and a deposit of four kittens can be left at your office, driven in by my butler Knickers, brought by my own fair hand, which was amputated yesterday.
I also have some Saddam Hussein pendants if you’re interested in an exchange; they are rather dull looking and heavy, but they hang awfully well.
Yours spherically,
Mr Frederick Crotchbite.
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Re: Own a piece of 2006 -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq. (Hands of Time Indeed !),
31/12/06 5:15pm
My good Mr. Crotchbite,
May I call you Freddie ? Per your request I have set aside 11.32am to 11.36am 12/5/06, depending on your preference and not meaning to inquire as to your reasons for request of four minutes on 28/11/2006, but preferably somewhere near 11 o’clock I can offer you any block of four from 10:46 AM till 11:16 AM of said day. While the offer of four kittens as deposit seems intriguing I must decline as our Asian foods division is under investigation by the health ministry at the moment. Please instruct your butler Knickers to place the hand through the letter slot on our door and we will hold it as deposit against the requested minutes, a kind of gentleman’s handshake if you will.
It seems you may have also found by now that Saddam Hussein novelties are not a big seller, our greeting card and poster division had a line of cards and posters with chatchy phrases like "Just Hanging Around" "Swinger?" "All Choked Up" and the one we thought would be an overwhelming success "Would You Like To Tie The Knot?". Unfortunately they were all consumed in a warehouse fire last week.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
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