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Date Posted: 18/05/06 12:03am
Author: Department of Impersonation Investigations
Subject: World Wide Aviation Investigation Authority Body Organisation Thingy
In reply to:
Inspector Dunnit
's message,
"Re: Missing: Edward Franks Kelsone" on
17/05/06 3:56am
We here at the FAA take aircraft impersonation very seriously.
Regarding flight EFK1234, we are taking the following actions -
1. Investigation of the impersonated aircraft - serial #'s, origin, owning airline etc ..
2. Maintenance record, and interviewing maintenance personnel
3. Reviewing finance arrangements for this aircraft, eg leased or owned
4. Probability of actual departure, ie what was the likely hood that Edward would actually get airborne with 120 passengers before the end of the runway. We have a large department of engineers working on this.
5. Seating configuration - how many in first vs. economy class etc ..
The answer to these questions and more will be revealed in our final report.
Mr. Bygosh Itflies
World Wide Aviation Investigation Authority Body Organisation Thingy
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Replies:[> [>
Insurance Investigation - Public Enquiry -- Nevapay Insurance,
18/05/06 12:19am
Nevapay Insurance has received a formal claim from the owning airline for the loss of one concorde. We strongly deny claims by the press that if we delay the payout for forty years, the payout value in real terms, will amount to the cost of a packet of cigarettes. That aside, we do not encourage claims of less than $US10million, as in forty years, that amount will not pay for the postage stamp, on your claim cheque.
In the interests of not tying this whole thing up in paperwork for the next forty years, we invite everyone and anyone who might have a claim, no matter how minor, regarding this incident to file it via this forum.
When filing you need to supply -
Part 1. Your name and address
P2. The names, address, and demographic profile of any living relative, including their health history and names of all friends.
P3. The names of any people with who you have discussed this incident with, and anyone to whom you have mentioned the word 'concorde', in the last fifty years.
P4. The addresses and demographic profile for all of those people you list in P3.
P5. The basis for your claim, including the details both financial and demographic, for any commercial entities that are relevant to your claim.
P6. A detailed sketch or photo of all relevant scenes, preferably a re-enactment of the situation, made by professional actors and produced by the BBC.
As you can see we have tried to make the claim submission process as simple as possible. Claims may be submitted via ordinary post to our office in Zimbabwe. We anticipate acknowledgement of receipt of your claim within the next ten years, and processing of said claim within thirty years thereafter. Mumbashwe, the head off our Zimbabwe office, will be handling the entire claim process. To expidite speedy processing we will soon be purchasing a typewriter, and sending her to English language classes - as soon as we can get in touch with her.
Anonymous
Nevapay Insurance
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