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Date Posted: 18/05/06 12:19am
Author: Nevapay Insurance
Subject: Insurance Investigation - Public Enquiry
In reply to:
Inspector Dunnit
's message,
"Re: Missing: Edward Franks Kelsone" on
17/05/06 3:56am
Nevapay Insurance has received a formal claim from the owning airline for the loss of one concorde. We strongly deny claims by the press that if we delay the payout for forty years, the payout value in real terms, will amount to the cost of a packet of cigarettes. That aside, we do not encourage claims of less than $US10million, as in forty years, that amount will not pay for the postage stamp, on your claim cheque.
In the interests of not tying this whole thing up in paperwork for the next forty years, we invite everyone and anyone who might have a claim, no matter how minor, regarding this incident to file it via this forum.
When filing you need to supply -
Part 1. Your name and address
P2. The names, address, and demographic profile of any living relative, including their health history and names of all friends.
P3. The names of any people with who you have discussed this incident with, and anyone to whom you have mentioned the word 'concorde', in the last fifty years.
P4. The addresses and demographic profile for all of those people you list in P3.
P5. The basis for your claim, including the details both financial and demographic, for any commercial entities that are relevant to your claim.
P6. A detailed sketch or photo of all relevant scenes, preferably a re-enactment of the situation, made by professional actors and produced by the BBC.
As you can see we have tried to make the claim submission process as simple as possible. Claims may be submitted via ordinary post to our office in Zimbabwe. We anticipate acknowledgement of receipt of your claim within the next ten years, and processing of said claim within thirty years thereafter. Mumbashwe, the head off our Zimbabwe office, will be handling the entire claim process. To expidite speedy processing we will soon be purchasing a typewriter, and sending her to English language classes - as soon as we can get in touch with her.
Anonymous
Nevapay Insurance
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