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Date Posted: 10/01/06 6:22pm
Author: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Subject: Re: Exclusive distributors USA/UK
In reply to:
Twoddly Bobshonks - Minister Domestic Munitions
's message,
"Re: Exclusive distributors USA/UK" on
10/01/06 5:37am
>
>This grill will need to pass a number of regulatory
>tests before it can be supplied with an approval
>number and sold. The following tests will need to be
>performed and the results submitted for examination to
>the Dept. of Domestic Munitions.
>
>1. T3523224 - Suitability for use onboard aircraft
>during a force 10 hurricane, which occurs every 100
>years. There are a number of manufacturers waiting
>for said hurricane to happen so they can perform this
>test.
I think we have a solution for T3523224, with the vast store of plutonium I am sure our boys in the lab could arrange a few well placed explosions (over uninhabited area of course) producing up to force 20 winds. This should also satisfy future requirements of T5699987-A the ability to withstand a prolonged firestorm and 3000 rem’s /hour exposure.
>2. T2343633 - Suitability for use as prosthetic leg by
>a Mongolian Reading Sheep. These sheep are extremely
>rare, the supply having been monopolized by a certain
>wax cylinder manufacturing company.
Since Mongolian reading sheep are unavailable I suggest we use Hairy Mongolian Political Commentary Sheep, we have a prosthetic foreleg ready for testing and are working on hoof replacements with three toes and an artificial heart.
>3. T6548775 - Suitability for use as an ice cream
>maker. This test came about after old Martha burned
>her leg trying to make ice cream with her grill. By
>ensuring that all grills can also make ice cream we
>prevent a repeat incident.
T5699987-A supersedes the requirements of T6548775, so if that test were passed this would not be a problem. And who wants glow in the dark blancmange anyway?
>
>Of course these tests are time consuming and expensive
>to perform, and many manufacturers have found it
>economically beneficial to come to a special
>arrangement with myself.
>
>If you wish to avail yourself of a special ministerial
>arrangment please call me directly to discuss the
>details.
In closing lets say we were to drop off £50 in small notes at the usual place and we keep this to ourselves, competition is bad for business after all. And I am sure there would be a tidy sum in it for you should we be the only ones to pass these tests.
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
>
>Twoddly Bobshonks
>Minister for Domestic Munitions
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