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Date Posted: 10:36:41 07/22/06 Sat
Author: Gianna DiRossi
Subject: Inside
In reply to: Justin Mallenock 's message, "
Last Goodbye
" on 10:12:13 07/22/06 Sat

(The weeks since her rogue mission in Bangkok had been the hardest weeks of her life. She had suffered alone, though she was coming to think that maybe she had sentenced herself to that.. but it didn't make it any easier. Because of the baby growing inside of her her options had become extremely limited and she had had to go through the pain of withdrawal on her own. For almost three weeks she had lain in the dark, curled on her side and trembling from the physical pain, throwing up everything she ate and lashing out at everyone who came near her. The only friend she had had the entire time had been the baby inside her.. now almost four months along. Once the harsh realities of withdrawal had started to pass and the even harsher reality of what she had done had started to sink in, she had sunk deeper and deeper inside herself to the point that not even Remy quite knew wat to say to her. She just lay there on her back in the hospital bed, one hand on her now rounded stomach and her eyes blankly staring at the acorn design of the wallpaper border near the cieling. She was clad in light sweats and a tee shirt, her ankles crossed atop a pillow. When the door opened, the only outward sign that showed she was aware of his entering was the way her eyes winced at the bright light from the hallway. They had her heavily dosed on antidepressants and there were IV's in both of her arms giving her fluids and nutrients. A monitor was standing on the far side of the bed, a single small sensor on her stomach feeding information on the baby, it's heartbeat was a small beep.. beep.. beep.. that filled the room and was a solace to her damaged soul. They had told her that the baby was his just a few days after her return from Bangkok, and she hadn't really known what to feel or think about that.. and as the weeks went on and she didn't hear from him she had simply stopped pining and stopped hoping that he might find it in his heart to come to her. There were a lot of things that she didn't understand about her behavior in the past few months.. those things would come time.. but for now all she knew was that she had lost her mind after the assault and simply shoved everything important to her out of her way.. it was the single largest regret she harbored in her life. The woman who lay in the bed was not the woman he had seen in Bangkok.. she had gained her weight back and was off the drugs.. she was healthy and her eyes, though deeply sorrowful, were clear.. )

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