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Subject: Re: 25 and struggling


Author:
John (You know ...)
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Date Posted: 05:19:16 07/05/09 Sun
In reply to: sarah 's message, "25 and struggling" on 09:23:03 07/03/09 Fri

"I feel so alone." No, you're not alone. I, too, have been herded through life by my literacy difficulties. It appears I didn't know what you already seem to. Nonetheless, I've been successful in a number of 'careers’. I've also met a number of people who have had great success in their careers in spite of dyslexia.

"I am 25 and I have been diagnosed with dyslexia since I was 8 years old." Either you're quite self-aware, or you've been very well taught and you've learnt the lessons well. The way you say this indicates you have an important understanding. Firstly, you are person with all sorts of attributes and talents. Secondly, you just happen to be diagnosed as having dyslexia.

"During school … I was always bright …"
You clearly know your talents.

"Now I feel like my world is falling apart …" At the moment your confidence has been shaken. It appears you have taken a new position and you feel out of your comfort zone. One could view that as a difficulty, or as a positive challenge, enlivening and energising your life. I see you in a very positive light because of your energy and courage in stepping out of the comfort zone and looking to a new challenge.

"Two co-workers tell me that the help I got at school amounted to cheating …" I presume you use assistive technology. Good. I didn't have that advantage. What I did was change courses and subjects, like water running downhill. I took the path of least resistance. I took a degree in physical sciences, but biochemistry and biological/biomedical applications were my real interest at the time. It took me five years to get a basic three-year degree; I never did pass secondary school English. The system I was under allowed for compensation calculated on the grades in other subjects. After decades in routine laboratory work, I stepped outside the box and made a world first observation in analytical toxicology of human specimens.

Do you see the point I'm making? I have literacy difficulties, as well as other learning difficulties that I have only just become aware of. In spite of this, I was observant, an analytical thinker, and just discovering what I later learned to be a strongly intuitive natural tendency. Elite scientists in my field around the world failed to observe and recognise what I did.

Take confidence in your strengths. Do consider whether you are placing too much stress on yourself -- but do maintain the courage and confidence you have already displayed. You have choices. You have obviously had success in your previous career as a teacher. The grounds you describe for your success are equally applicable in a career as a librarian. Think of all the people like you and me that you could assist as a librarian.

Another positive aspect of dealing with your co-workers is that they are a lesson in how NOT to be in life. The example you show them, in disregarding what may be jealousy or fear of you as a threat, could be the lesson they need in recognising the invisible abilities in others. The demonstration of your resilience alone could give them a revelation in human understanding.

"It's no different to someone getting a degree that drank their way through their degree that is not dyslexic." You're upset. When you look back at this sentence I’m sure you'll see that an emotional, irrational reaction doesn't help you solve your issues. That's what this calls for -- you to solve your own issues through your own choices, and you do have choices. Your career path is your choice. Your career path is not YOU, it is just what you plan to DO.

"Please I feel so alone." You are not alone. Lord knows how many of us characters are reading this forum -- and how many of us are just out there acting on our choices. Join us.

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: 25 and struggling


Author:
John (P.S.)
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Date Posted: 05:37:35 07/05/09 Sun

"Workplace bullying is repeated inappropriate behaviour …

Bullying may harm, intimidate, threaten, victimise, undermine, offend, degrade or humiliate another person …"

I doubt your organisation needs the kind of behaviour you are enduring …

There is probably an harassment officer at your organisation. Take your time and consider your options, but maybe if you suffer "repeated, unreasonable and inappropriate" behaviour from others in your workplace, perhaps you need to act. Without saying the words "harassment or bullying", the words "repeated, unreasonable and inappropriate behaviour”, along with a brief description like the one you've given, could appear in a confidential letter from you to that harassment officer.
[> [> Subject: 25 and struggling


Author:
sarah
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 06:10:51 07/05/09 Sun

Thank you.

what you said has helped. the worst part is, i dont think she even knew what she was saying was so very hurtfull. i have always been confident and my dyslexia has never stoped me.
yet in 15 miutes she has made me feal what 25 years of bullys and bad exam results and essays that took days longer to write than my co students essays, could not. she made me feal like there was somthing wrong with me. she made me feal that all my hard work was for nothing. the funny thing was that she started her 'Talk' with "how could you write on the board didnt the children laugh at you" and they didnt! when they knew i was dyslexic they were great even the realy unpleasent kids. they respected me becouse i was happy to talk about being dyslexic. i have never hiden it and in fact openly talk about it. i always felt that if people talked to me then maby they could learn what its like and that you are intelginet even if you strugle with reading or spelling or the million other things it can meen to be dyslexic.

i am going to talk to her and make it clear that she was very hurtfull and hopfully educate her and if she ever talks to me like that again i am going to talk to my boss. i fought to get were i am now and i will not let one uneducated women distroy what i have by letting her words nock me down.

thank you
[> [> [> Subject: Re: 25 and struggling


Author:
John (Gratitude)
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Date Posted: 16:35:05 07/07/09 Tue

Thank you for the lesson.
While reading your response, I went back to year 12 in school, when I failed English (the first time, may be the first time the examiner did not know me). A friend, who actually liked me as a person, was talking to a teacher about, I guess, his excellent results and his future. We were standing in front of the bulletin board with our results on it. In front of me, probably in my defense, he said to the teacher, "John only does just enough to get by." That was a long time ago. Ignorance of how things are does not change with time BY IT SELF. But with the ATTITUDE you have shown me, I think the world will change for us and those like us.
Thank you for showing me the missing piece in my strategy. And thanks for showing me the multiple dimensions to a positive strategy. All the best for your future.
The world is already changing as you are "being the change you want".



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