| Subject: Re: Do you think Brad and Jolie will try to adopt the boy returned to Russia? |
Author:
Mystie
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Date Posted: 07:43:03 04/18/10 Sun
In reply to:
Gina
's message, "Re: Do you think Brad and Jolie will try to adopt the boy returned to Russia?" on 13:08:30 04/16/10 Fri
I get what you're saying, i really do but i think it's almost a generational gap between us on this (as much as it pains me to say that, i don't think of you as another generation but you do have good 15-17 years on me and sometimes that makes a difference) The reason i say this is because both my parents and my Grandma think exactly the same way you do. My Grandma still doesn't approve of me being with an American, she thinks it's just a phase or something (after nearly 4 years!) It really breaks my heart that she has this lukewarm acceptance for him but what can you do, she keeps saying that i'm setting myself up for disaster because i need to be with someone who's a Russian born like me, who speaks my native language etc., because when kids are involved, it will be too hard to reconcile the two cultures.... I mean, once you go that route, what about interracial couples, their culture is way different? If people shouldn't adopt kids from another background, should they have kids of their own, and make them a product of 2 different backgrounds? It can be a pretty slippery slope...we can end up back in the 1950's before you know it!
But you know what, i have plenty of great examples of two cultures merging and it working out beautifully, just like i have at least 2 examples of people i know that have adopted children from another country (both from Russia actually) and their kids are the most wholesome and well rounded i've seen. It really depends on the age of the child being adopted, i think. Children are pretty malleable by nature, if they are adopted young enough, i don't think there's ever going to be an issue where the parent won't understand what the child goes through. It's only when they're adopted when they're old enough to talk, that's when things can get a little hairy but again, it really depends on the situation. I watched this documentary about this budding high school football player, him and his 2 sisters were adopted by American parents from Russia, they were orphans and lived in complete poverty, shuttling from one horrible orphanage to another. They were adopted, brought here and fairly quickly assimilated to the culture and because of it, his talent for football was discovered, nurtured and flourished and now he may someday play for the NFL. There are tons of similar stories out there where the mesh of cultures only helped the children, not hurt them.
And look, I myself am an example of that too, at 12 years old, i came to another country, you can say i was adopted by the new culture, yes my parents are the same heritage as me but that's not to say i didn't fully assimilate into American culture, at least i totally feel like i have, having grown up here....
The bottom line, i think the key isn't parents being of the same heritage, the key is parents opening their hearts to these children no matter what and making them feel loved and accepted, not putting them on a plane and sending them back at the first sign of trouble. That woman probably treated that child with caution and cold distance from the get go, no wonder he felt confused and angry. But that's not to say there aren't hundreds if not thousands of success stories out there....
I really hope the Russian officials work out the rules and let US adopt from their country again, it will be sad to see so many promising futures snuffed out because of one bad apple.
I do, however, wholeheartedly agree with you about Madonna and AJ. Thrusting innocent kids into their crazy whirlwind lives, especially if they aren't orphans or in foster care, is not the best of ideas. That is the opposite of a wholesome childhood. Especially since both of them have enough money to be able to help the guardians of these children, if they love them so much....
That's my 2 cents.
Myst
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