Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 00:10:44 12/06/07 Thu
Welcome, Anna!
I am very glad you came.
You have been through abortion three times. In my experience, some women will continue to get pregnant repeatedly until they carry a baby to term. You have already waited nearly 13 weeks. You are obviously conflicted. A woman should never get an abortion unless she is absolutely certain this is what she wants. If she isn't certain, she will regret it.
Your ex boyfriend is being a jerk. He doesn't deserve fatherhood. Unfortunately, there are lots like him out there.
Parents are often disappointed and shocked at first, but they almost always come around and become very supportive. By the way, I am one of the people who had this experience. Our son didn't even tell us about our grandson until he was something like 15 months old, so we missed spending all that early time with him, much to my regret. But the instant he told us about him, he was our grandson, and that was the end of the argument. No, the parents are not married. They're both taking care of him and doing an excellent job. I am proud of our son for meeting his responsibilities.
Unfortunately, you don't have that. However, it would be wrong for your baby to pay the price of his or her father's irresponsibility. Whether or not your family chooses to be stressed out about it is really their decision. They don't have to be. I very much feel for you. But you CAN do it. You are a lot stronger than you think. You can get help. Go here: www.pregnancycenters.org There is a list of pregnancy centers all over the United States and some foreign countries. Find one near you. They will help you with the financial issues, and with counseling. Let your ex go. He's not worthy of either one of you.
Guys don't react to pregnancy like we do. We have the advantage of hormones and bodily changes, and they don't have that. Often, guys will come around once they have some kind of concrete experience of their own, that convinces them the mother is really pregnant and that is really a baby. From your description of your ex, he's not likely to be one of them, though he may surprise you, but given that he's sleeping with someone else, my guess would be he's not going to be there for you. Move on. Seriously. It is the desire of a mother's heart that the father will be there. You are bonded to your baby and you know it's best for your baby to have two parents. If you free yourself of this loser and make yourself available, it is very likely someone will come along who will cherish you both. That person can be a father in every way that counts. We have seen many of the ladies who come here eventually find someone who is truly decent and will make a commitment.
If the embarrassment is too much, you can find a place to live. A pregnancy center can help with that. However, you should hold your head up high should you choose to protect your baby. That takes courage. Above all, listen to your heart! You've been through this enough times. It's time to turn over a new leaf, grow into your responsibilities for this child, protect him or her, and make a life for yourself. Can you do it? Yes! Give your uncle a chance. Maybe he will also surprise you, and if you demonstrate courage, I'm betting on it!
We love you and we will be praying for you. Come back any time you need to talk.
Hugs,
Pat
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