Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 16:12:38 01/18/08 Fri
Dear Kai,
I have some thoughts. Is this a man you would marry if he asked you? Give this some thought.
Men don't usually react to pregnancy the way we do. We have hormones and physical changes to help us out. They have to see some evidence for themselves. It can be changes in the mother's body, seeing an ultrasound, hearing the heartbeat, or feeling movement. These things tend to happen, at the earliest, sometime during the second trimester. You aren't there yet. If you can, get your boyfriend to look at an ultrasound with you (not just a picture of one). Give him time. He may well come around. Some men don't come around until the baby is born. Even though you are pulling apart now, having an abortion would probably have finished your relationship. So give him time and space, and try not to worry about it too much. You can continue with your college education. I know this, because I did it. I was pregnant with my older daughter when I was in college. I was out for a week for the birth (my choice to stay out that long) and I aced my courses. By the time I got my degree, we had four children, three of them preschoolers. You can go halftime, do correspondence courses, or take online classes (not an option that was open to me). There are lots of ways. I also had day care a few hours a week with our oldest, just for class, my husband did some "babysitting", and I had a babysitter on campus for one course. You may also be able to find a woman in the same position as you, that you can room with, and share child care. Obviously you will have to be careful whom you choose, but that is another option.
Think creatively, and find a crisis pregnancy agency in your area. Also investigate WIC assistance, and see about getting a Pell grant.
I know you can do it. You are a lot stronger than you think. Take one day at a time.
Keep in touch!
Hugs,
Pat
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