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Date Posted: 18:11:08 08/06/00 Sun
Author: hellboy
Subject: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly #50

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly #50

Fifty. Can you believe it? Fifty weeks I've had a relationship with this column, which puts it about 6 months longer than any romantic relationship I've had, and it will go at least another two weeks. Pretty bloody pathetic really.

I guess you're wondering why I'm bothering to make a big deal about 50 as 52 (a whole year's worth) is just a fortnight away? Well I wasn't planning on it, but it was brought up over margaritas the other night and heck any reason for a celebration is good enough for me. So I'd just like to add that I'm proud to join Glen McGrath in finally scoring 50. Now let's get on with the show.

THE GOOD

Those who have provided inspiration, antagonisation and libation - Rabat (goddess of HTML), My Family (you know who you are), Crystal (can I ask you a question?), Family Moore, Family Oldland, Graham, Nickos, Benos, Ollieos, SpiderTeo, Amber, Lukie and Vinnie, The slut top girls, Jase, Sean, Garth, The guys at Zeitgeist, Mez and Tim, little johnny, The Evil Bunnies, Mr. Ellis, Mr. Thompson, Mr. Relf, all the anonymous contributors, Mr. Gates (though you are still a bastard) and everyone else I have forgotten.

Dark Horses - The new CD from Tex "is sex" Perkins, front man for The Cruel Sea, isn't really like an album of songs. It's personal and brilliant and more like he sauntered up to you at the bar and decided to sing to you instead of being a CD.

Tigerlilly - We know this album from Natalie Merchant is a couple of years old but of course we only just got around to discovering it. It songs are just lovely and perfect for a Sunday afternoon.

The Colour and the Shape - GBU HQ is now up to it's fourth copy of this sophomore release from Dave "I used to sit behind Kurt" Grohl's band the Foo Fighters. It is quite possibly the best rock album of the 90's and the fact we have had three previous copies go missing from our collection attests to this.

Wonder Boys - Put Michael Douglas in his best role since The Game, then add into the mix a glorious script, Tobey Maguire, Katie "Yum Yum" Holmes and a pink chenille dressing gown and you have a really nice film.

Dumped - An anthology of stories by Australian authors all about the unfortunate but sometimes necessary title act. Some are great, others just OK but the book is certainly worth a look.

The Hubble Telescope Screen Saver - Go to www.hotfiles.com and grab the best screensaver we've seen in ages. Just type Hubble into the "Search For" box, whack it on and space out.

John Eales - Captain of the Australian Wallabies and the man known as "Nobody" , because "Nobody's perfect" for slotting through a penalty goal in injury time allowing us to retain the Bledisloe Cup over those nasty New Zealanders.

www.pornolize.com - For the junkie for whom too much porn is barely enough this site translates normal every day sites into porn sites. Telstra never looked this good.


THE BAD

The University of Texas - It seems those cocky bastards declared war on Australia last week. It seems they are pushing for a surrender, which shows what they know. Worse than this however is the expressive demand that we take back Crocodile Dundee. Hey you wanted him you lot can keep him.

Having you Four Wheel Drive bombed by the RAAF - Happened to a Darwin man on Friday, thankfully the car was parked in his back yard at the time and he was inside, the RAAF is investigating how a dummy weapon managed to come lose from an F/A -18 Hornet during a training flight. The RAAF is said to be pleases with the outcome of the training program as we Australians will never have to worry about being over run by Toyotas ever. However those nasty Hyundai cars are a whole other story.

Shane Warne - The bad boy of Oz cricket finally got his comeuppance after being dumped as Vice-captain. Maybe that will induce him to stop harassing nurses, little kids and cartons of cigarettes. Of course the other bad side of this is Adam "Mr. Everything" Gilchrist has now got the gig adding to his already very full job description of wicket keeper, occasional opener and match saver.

Jessica Simpson - The fact that she is a Britney Spears clone is bad enough but it does get worse. Her latest single samples a well known guitar riff from, of all things, a John Cougar Mellencamp song proving the fact that two wrong do not make a right.


THE UGLY

John Howard - This week our esteemed Prime Minister outdid himself by attempting to have the Sex Discrimination Act amended and thus exclude single women and lesbians from IVF treatments. Mr Howard declaration about how every child should have a father as managed to divide the country. We just wonder that if Howard believes so much in this then why hasn't he made a move to change adoption legislation that still allows for gay couples and single people to adopt?

George W. Bush gets one step closer - After winning the Republican nomination the other day, like it was ever in doubt, it seems this decade will begin just like the last one with a Bush as the most powerful individual in the world. And that has got to scare just about any one.

Tissues in the wash - GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Little white pieces of fluff. ARRRGGGHHHHHH.

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