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Bush Telegraph
Rhodesians Worldwide
. -- Ray, Fri, 13 Jul 2012, 18:29:32 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Yes I know those strip roads. Terry, drove from Salisbury to the Falls circa 1970 and as far as I remember, mostly strip road. Was always worried about when the strip reached the crest of the hill, was there someone else coming, but could never ever remember getting any traffic coming from the opposite direction.
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Gatooma -- Johnny B, Fri, 13 Jul 2012, 14:28:08 (CPE-121-220-145-124.lns5.fli.bigpond.net.au/121.220.145.124)
Small world Terry ! Yup that was half way house to bamba zonki, the Speck's hotel was the place to congregate before Moores Motel was built around the 1970's at the junction of the Eiffel flats turn off. It then changed names to Kadoma Ranch Motel. Used to hit the drive-in there too, if the movie was lousy or it rained we would just stay in the drive-in pub. The kidias' had the system sussed!
As far as I know Pete H. is still in the district. I'll have to consult my brother as he worked for Pete before high porting it to NZ as he was threatened by Moyo and also shot at by poachers which made his mind up on the spot. Pete H. bent over backwards offering land and was always diplomatic with the thugs. But he could only take so much too.
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CONFUSION -- TerryK, Thu, 12 Jul 2012, 17:14:04 (host86-186-160-113.range86-186.btcentralplus.com/86.186.160.113)
JohhnyB - massive confusion here - as soon as I read my post I realised that I was talking about Umvuma !!! Apologies.
Did also do Gatooma with the Spectre's and was joined by a great group of guys from Jamieson when they created a combined Midland's 6th Form at Chaplin in 1962. I remained friends with Pete Henderson who farmed near Gatooma right through UCT. Bombed through Que Que en route in this case but not on the scooter !!!
Wonder if I've got it right this time ???
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GATOOMA -- TerryK, Thu, 12 Jul 2012, 17:04:46 (host86-186-160-113.range86-186.btcentralplus.com/86.186.160.113)
Johnny B - great post - wish there were more like you.
Noted your mention of farming near Gatooma. I used to hang out with Miriam Jack at Mtao Forest and went through Chaplin with Susan Green from a big ranch nearby - the name will come back at 03.00am tomorrow !!! Also used to go to sessions at the Gatooma Hotel with the Spectre's Band in the early 60's.
Gatooma was an easy commute from Gwelo on a good old strip road - have done it by scooter, BSA Gold Flash, Triumph Bonneville and various cars including an old Citroen light 15. Great excitement when bombing through Lallapanzi - later a haunt of the much travelled Jo Pete. Once saw a flock of several hundred guinea fowl there - took ages to cross the road.
Regards to all
TerryK
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rise o voices -- Johnny B (helpful Info), Thu, 12 Jul 2012, 13:40:23 (CPE-121-220-145-124.lns5.fli.bigpond.net.au/121.220.145.124)
Russel you may not remember me but if you need a copy urgently, get one off "You Tube", either record it directly or onto a stick to write onto other media. The quality is not so great tho'. Have done this with a few hard to find songs. The instrumental version played at midnight shutting down of RBC was done by Heinz Sachtner(sp) which I have a copy on vinyl (Ode to Joy). I transpose all my own vinyl into digital for my own pleasure.
EG.- Al Debo's "haasie op die stasie" being one which no one could get for love or money. This Okie and Nico Carstens toured the country way back in the sixties and even stopped in dorps like Gatooma. I had the seven-single until we were abandoned the farm. This is obtainable on the old Springbok Radio archive.(just some idea of how to get the impossible) Try LM radio and you'll be surprised !
I occasionally get on this forum to just look, and I am pleased to see Pete, Ray, Terry, James, Jimbo and many others are still alive and kicking. Long may you guys live!
Me and my vroe have moved from Christchurch to the South Australian riverlands where I work in the wine industry. All the best to old mates. If you look hard enough you'll find me in a distillery near Renmark! I'll check out the site over the weekend to see if you BT'rs are awake.
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Pay attention you lot! -- Russel, Wed, 11 Jul 2012, 23:11:13 (host217-44-12-166.range217-44.btcentralplus.com/217.44.12.166)
Been a while all but I am back for a bit and on the scrounge. Has anyone got an mp3 of Rise o Voices. If so, please could you send me a copy. Thanks, Russ
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Wives Don't Forget Old Boyfriends -- Jack Off, Sun, 08 Jul 2012, 22:28:39 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
A husband took his wife to a disco on the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor jiving to no end - breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.
The wife turned to her husband and said, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
The husband replies, "Looks like he's still celebrating!"
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English Weather -- Jack Off, Sun, 08 Jul 2012, 6:17:17 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
English Weather
The Archbishop of Canterbury and the Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the
climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as 'English Weather'.
Rather than offend a sizeable and growing portion of the UK population, it
will now be referred to as 'Muslim Weather':
Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite.
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Tennis -- Jack Off, Sat, 07 Jul 2012, 22:18:53 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
5th Wimbledon title for big nanny Williams.
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Books -- Ray, Thu, 05 Jul 2012, 23:03:57 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Sounds Good Ashley, I have just ordered from Amazon, "The Biggest Twitch" the story of how 2 birders found 4000 species of birds in one year.
The book review says they birded South Africa and Zambia, but they must have done Seldomseen in the Vumba also, to get those amounts of birds.
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New Rhodesian Novel out now! -- Ashley Symeou (Joyful), Thu, 05 Jul 2012, 9:40:27 (NoHost/217.33.182.82)
A new must-read book about life as we knew it. Written by Conrad K, "In the Shadow of the Tokolosh" is getting 5 star ratings on Amazon...
Four young men growing up in the wilderness, as the last remnants of colonialism in Africa. While the world and its attitude changed around them, they found themselves fighting to save their way of life, in a land that did not share their views or values. Set in the Zambezi Valley, where the white man made his last stand in Africa.
"The writer clearly has a deep love of Africa. His knowledge of the history, the cultures, the dynamics is second to none and he leaves the reader in no doubt that he knows what he is talking about... This is more than a story - it is a history, a philosophy, a way of life, a political debate - all rolled into one... The love and dedication that has gone into it is to be commended. Well done!"
Chris Cocks, Author of bestselling book 'Fireforce: One Man's War in the Rhodesian Light Infantry' (2001)
"What a WONDERFUL book. Don't think it is just about the war against the terrorists in Rhodesia; its much much more than that. Its a book of memories of growing up and becoming a man in Africa. A white man yes but still a man in Africa with all that goes with that. With "turns" that were not expected and with tears in my eyes as I finished the book, I without reservation recommend this book to those who have lived in sub-Saharan Africa..." Amazon review
Available from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk
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Jimbo -- Jack Off, Thu, 05 Jul 2012, 9:23:25 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
Anybody heared from Jimbo? maybe he is still busy celebrating.
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. -- Ray, Wed, 04 Jul 2012, 19:03:31 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Oh.
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Reek/rook... -- James, Wed, 04 Jul 2012, 18:56:42 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
RAY: You made me laugh when you mentioned Jimbo's bum reeking (or is it leaking?) I know that you are kidding, but a lum is a chimney and reek is smoke in auld Scots.
So maybe 'lang may yer lum reek' literally means 'long may I see smoke coming from your chimney'. (No 'lum' for chimney in Afrikaans, but 'reek' and rook are very similar).
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Jimbo -- Jack Off, Wed, 04 Jul 2012, 9:25:16 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
Happy 70th Jimbo, have a good one mate.
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. -- Ray, Wed, 04 Jul 2012, 6:00:09 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Happy birthday Jimbo, I don't know about how long may your bum reek but if that's what you Scots say then OK..
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Reek... -- James, Wed, 04 Jul 2012, 1:46:42 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
..........................................................
JIMBO. Is it really your birthday? Lang may yer lum reek!
With Best Wishes,
James.
.........................................................
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Tennis -- Jack Off, Mon, 02 Jul 2012, 23:56:39 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
The question being is big nanny Williams going to win the tennis tonight?
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Hint Hint Hint -- Ray, Sun, 01 Jul 2012, 7:48:08 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Jimbos birfday in 2 days..
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. -- Ray, Sun, 01 Jul 2012, 0:34:54 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Might get you a loaf of bread, oops no wheat, maybe a bag of mieliemeal..
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(External) Bonds dated 1985 -- Jinny Talbot (Curious), Sat, 30 Jun 2012, 20:06:00 (S010600222dca3410.gv.shawcable.net/24.108.24.147)
I just found my Z$ 50,100 in Government of Zimbabwe 12 year 4% Local Registered (External) Bonds dated 1985! Can these be cashed or are they worthless?
Jinny Talbot
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. -- Ray, Thu, 28 Jun 2012, 22:54:44 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Money came in, good, new shampoo for major client separated, Yeeeeeeaaarghhh.
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. -- Ray, Thu, 28 Jun 2012, 22:51:32 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Yes, today is a huge improvement from the past week which was rather trying, thank you.
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Ray -- Jack Off, Thu, 28 Jun 2012, 9:27:22 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
Hi Ray,
Hope this post finds you not too foul and having a good day.
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. -- Ray, Thu, 28 Jun 2012, 4:46:12 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Yez.
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. -- dingus, Wed, 27 Jun 2012, 3:05:25 (host-174-45-87-60.bzm-mt.client.bresnan.net/174.45.87.60)
This filth from ray?
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Ray -- Carl schmidt, Mon, 25 Jun 2012, 7:50:31 (41-132-134-198.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.132.134.198)
Ray, I do not know who or what you are and like wise for you, you do not know who or what I am, so please keep your foul comments to yourself and don't be as arrogant as your mate. You do not know the full story and nor does your mate. If by chance you or anyone can assist, then great it would be appreciated. If not then all you have do do, should you feel like writting something is say that you are unable to assist or you do not want to assist. Just because I took on your mate head on, now I'm wrong and I must back down, "I don't think so".
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Herc poirot -- Ray, Sun, 24 Jun 2012, 7:48:40 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Herc Poirot,if you read the posts over the past week you could quickly figure out why Carl's ex wife and daughter do not want the fuck to do with him any more
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GreenBuls -- Ray, Sun, 24 Jun 2012, 6:50:35 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Terryk if you go and look at Good Ole Irish Ian Sinclairs Birds of South Africa you will see the following description for Greenbuls.
1. Sombre Greenbul Inconspicious but vocal (would that be Hougaard?
2.Tiny Greenbul; small size paler underparts and grey crown, obviously Aplon,
3. Stripe-Cheeked Greenbul; Shy, difficult to locate, clearly Habana,
4. Yellow-streaked Greenbul; creeps about tree trunks, this must be Jantjies
5. Yellow-bellied Greenbul; This must be Morne.
Fok Tailed Dronkou; this must be Sinclair.
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BT -- Jack Off, Sun, 24 Jun 2012, 6:29:14 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
> My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine.
> The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
> Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
> Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
> The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
> Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
> The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week."
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Search -- Herc Poirot, Sat, 23 Jun 2012, 19:02:54 (ds7711.dedicated.turbodns.co.uk/109.104.87.119)
Carl Schmidt - you have the husbands name and address , what else do you need ? You can find out more info yourself online without asking other people . Its very easy .
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BOAT SPEED -- TerryK, Sat, 23 Jun 2012, 7:47:03 (host109-150-115-5.range109-150.btcentralplus.com/109.150.115.5)
Jo Pete - refer your recent sailing post - check nicely -
http://www.volvooceanrace.com/en/news/6606_Cammas-treats-rivals-to-a-speedy-day-out.html
Back in my own sand pit after a week in France approving control schemes. Playing with my toys and waiting for the green Bulls with a few new Capies take on the Pomeranians in PE. Wonder how Mike Catt will go down with the locals ???
Can't beleive that the longest day has past - summer has still not arrived here. At least the water rations are a thing of the past.
Regards to all.
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Bob -- Jack Off, Fri, 22 Jun 2012, 22:31:37 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
(2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2)
The biggest Puss on this site is arsewipe Bob, the MF wants shooting.
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Jo-Pete -- carl schmidt, Fri, 22 Jun 2012, 12:04:30 (41-132-134-198.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.132.134.198)
Thank goodness I will receive no invitation from your new BT as I find people like you distastful and you where the one that started the sledging. With regard to you claiming that I required assistance in surveilance of my ex wife and daughter, what utter rubbish. This is not what I requested, you obviously can't read. As a matter of fact you have not cheesed me off. I took you on head on as I find you a very arrogant person whom is are full of himself and this you could not take because how dare I take on the almighty I am. I have news for you, when you sit on the shithouse with your rods down at your ankles, it looks just the same as should I be on the shithouse with my rods down at my ankles. I'm so please that you think that your intellect appears to be intact. further more, I'm not your chum or oke. You are of the opinion that you are of a superior type of person. This is a syndrome that a few people suffer from that only left Zinbabwe long after independance in 1980 and these guys with this syndrome are what was or is known as Whenwees. With regard to meeting, this you do not want for the simple reason that you can not face the challenge head on, because you know that you will loose. So now you hide behind your computor screen and chirp people kak in the hope that you will never face any of them face to face and embarrass yourself in front of your fine woman. I also hope that you have now also got the message, that you can not go around and chirp people kak and think that you can get away with it. You see every action has a re-action.
I wish you well on your new BT and hope to never encounter you on here again.
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The last word on Carl the Clutchplate -- Jo Pete, Fri, 22 Jun 2012, 10:28:56 (dsl-242-93-134.telkomadsl.co.za/41.242.93.134)
Yo BT. Carl, listen good chum. First off I appreciate my buddy Ray making However they are not necessary. I was run over by a motor grader in Nov 2009. After 9 weeks in a coma in ICU I spent a further 6 months in a rehab centre. I am paraplegic due to terminal damage to my spine. In spite of my skull being crushed my intellect appears to be intact.
Bush Telegraph was first introduced about 1995.I became an active Bt'er in 1997 It's purpose was to bring ex Rhodesians together to chat about subjects of mutual interest, mainly Rhodesiana. Through BT many BT'ers met physically all over the world. I met BT'ers in Cape Town,Franscistown,Lalapanzi and London. Without exception they were vibrant and very interesting people. All I still classify as friends.
Unfortunately an element appeared in BT. These people contributed nothing except sledging regular BT'ers. I include you amongst these ,Carl. You have contributed nothing to the forum except sledging. Your name first came to my attention when you requested assistance in surveillance of your ex wife and daughter in UK. I found this extremely distasteful and a misuse of this forum. I decided to combat your evil intentions by pissing you off big time. This I have obviously done.
To combat people of your ilk another BT page was set up. Access is by invitation only. Trust me Carl, you will never receive an invitation.
I will not be attending the meeting proposed by yourself for the following reasons:
1) You regard this meeting as a vendetta.
2) Of necessity I would be accompanied by my wife and my carer. I do not wish these fine women to be exposed to people such as yourself.
3) you have nothing of interest to me to offer.
From here on I will not be monitoring this page. I trust,Carl, that you have got the message.
Farewell
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Bob -- Jack Off, Fri, 22 Jun 2012, 9:03:08 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
(2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2)
Bob you were born a puss and will die one, F*ukoff with your childish spam.
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But are the institutions of the West now degenerating? -- Niall Ferguson, Fri, 22 Jun 2012, 4:01:11 (2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2)
The Human Hive
Episode 1 of 4, The Reith Lectures, Niall Ferguson: The Rule of Law and Its Enemies: 2012
The eminent economic historian Professor Niall Ferguson argues that institutions determine the success or failure of nations. In a lecture delivered at the London School of Economics and Political Science, he says that a society governed by abstract, impersonal rules will become richer than one ruled by personal relationships. The rule of law is crucial to the creation of a modern economy and its early adoption is the reason why Western nations grew so powerful in the modern age.
But are the institutions of the West now degenerating? Professor Ferguson asks whether the democratic system has a fatal flaw at its heart. In the West young people are confronting the fact that they must live with the huge financial debt generated by their parents, something they had no control over despite the fact that they were born into a democracy. Is there a way of restoring the compact between different generations?
Listen now. Duration: 42 minutes
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01jmx0p
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Julian Assange's first interview from the Ecuadorian Embassy in London -- Fran Kelly, Fri, 22 Jun 2012, 3:59:11 (2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2)
Julian Assange is about to spend his third night in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London as he awaits a decision on his bid for asylum.
In his first interview since arriving at the embassy, he tells us why he chose to seek asylum in Ecuador.
Listen:Friday 22 June 2012 6:07AM (view full episode)
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/breakfast/julian-assange-exclusive/4085686
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Ray -- Carl Schmidt, Thu, 21 Jun 2012, 15:56:26 (41-132-134-198.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.132.134.198)
Ray, all the more reason why he should mind what he does and says.
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. -- Ray, Thu, 21 Jun 2012, 15:24:14 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Carl, Pete was severely injured in an accident which put him in intensive care and as far as I know he is confined to a wheel chair. Please just forget about the whole thing. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will not.
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Jo-Pete -- Carl Schmidt, Thu, 21 Jun 2012, 14:48:07 (41-132-134-198.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.132.134.198)
Mr. Jo-Pete, if you are of the opinion that my genre is so dof & dom, why is it that you can not commit yourself to a meeting so that we can see who is dof and who is dom. After all I'm not very far from you and will make the trip with the greatest of pleasure. It will cost you nothing accept egg on your face, once we have seen each other face to face. Kom nou bang broek, how about we meet each other this Saterday morning. You name the place and time and I'll be there. Oh and by the way, you may bring along who ever you wish, if you think that I'm a vuil gat and a dof & dom oke. It's just such a shame that a man of your so called high intelligence can be so dof & dom and doesen't know either when his pisser is being pulled and that you can not realize by now that you are being had for a fool. The fact that you are one is besides the point and if you so wish you are more than welcome to give me a call and should you not have sufficient air time on your cell you can give me a please call me and I will revert back to you right away. My number 082 777 7041 and this is a 24/7 number so that you do not have to worry that you will not get a hold of me. Don't worry I can assure you that I will not bore you.
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Clutchplates -- Jo Pete, Thu, 21 Jun 2012, 13:55:44 (dsl-242-93-134.telkomadsl.co.za/41.242.93.134)
Yo BT.. Thanks my buddy Ray who I have spent time with in 3 different countries in 3 different countries. Like all races you get Clutchplates and Clutchplates. You and this Carl oke are definitely not from the same genre. His genre is so dof & dom that he doesn't realise when his pisser is being pulled. Consequently his opinion of me is of no consequence. But I do wish he would do his archtypical Clutchplate whining elsewhereelsewhere. He is such a bore.
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Ray -- Carl Schmidt, Thu, 21 Jun 2012, 7:49:30 (41-132-134-198.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.132.134.198)
Hi Ray, thank-you for your post and yes you may intervene at any stage. After all this is what this forum is all about.
Yes Ray I hear what you have written and I have sympathy but at the same time no sympathy. You see Ray your good friend Jo-Pete started the whole thing. Some months back I posted a request on this forum requesting help and assistance regarding my daughter. I required help and assistance to try and find my daughter and to try and have a relationship as close to as normal as possible with her, but all your good friend Jo-Pete could do was have a go at me. Now this thing about my daughter is a very sensitive matter and I am sure that should it have been yourself or anyone else for that matter who had not had any contact with their own daughter for some 23 years, would also find it a very tender matter and the last thing one needs is to be chirped. Then the remark's about the Afrikaaners etc, etc as if he is the most perfect one. I bet my bottom dollar, the man can't even speak afrikaans. Ray, we all can take a good joke from time to time, but a joke is a joke and yet this man persistently carries on. Does he not know when a joke comes to an end? because they all do end sometime or other.
Ray, it is of no use to man or beast if your good friend Jo-Pete is a really good guy in his heart as you state he is, but yet does what he does. Once again as I have stated previously, the man has neither declined or accepted the request to meet, so that I may judge for my self whether he is a good man or not and put our differences to rest, once and for all. At this stage my only conclusion is in fact that the man is an indespicable one and that will remain as so until proven otherwise.
Ray, your request to me and I quote "Wish you will be kind to him". Well Ray, the bottom line is, if your good friend Jo-Pete, was kind to me, I would have been kind to him, and one reaps what one has sown and in this case so far, can expect no sympathy from me.
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Pete -- Ray, Thu, 21 Jun 2012, 1:05:59 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Hey Carl, may I intervene here.
I am of straight Afrikaans descent and my ties to Rhodesia, when it existed was limited to glorious holidays, and travels through the beautiful country, and visiting Rhodesian girlfriend schoolteacher Barbara. (My great grandfather's brother was one of the first BSAP, putting down the natives). Yet Pete has been extremely gracious to me, allowing me to stay over at his homes in Francistown, Lalapanzi, driving around with me looking for birds, even allowing me to bring three guests along, meals and providing me with hard to get petrol etc., and visit at Kempton Park.
Pete is not in best of health now, but he is a really good guy in his heart, and I would like you to see that he is a good bullshitter, and does not really mean what he says about Afrikaners, it all tongue in cheek and teasing.
Wish you will be kind to him.
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Jo Pete -- Carl Schmidt, Wed, 20 Jun 2012, 13:30:10 (41-132-134-198.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.132.134.198)
Ha, ha, ha Shame. I'm just as satisfied that you are so cheesed off that you have to resort to abusive language. This just goes to show what type of a despicable man you are with your sick twisted sense of humour. You should have stayed in Zimbabwe, because we don't need people like you here in SA and I am of the opinion that you only waited until a few years ago to move here, because you know full well that the old South Africans would not have put up with your behaviour. I hope you have a long and happy journey to where you're on your way.
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That Carl Oke -- Jo Pete, Wed, 20 Jun 2012, 10:47:29 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. Carl I bad mouth only arseholes!The fact that I have so easily pissed you off is highly satisfying
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Postings from the past -- Carl Schmidt, Wed, 20 Jun 2012, 8:18:08 (41-132-32-213.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.132.32.213)
You see this is what I mean. Yes this dispicable man has never declined or accepted and hence has never committed himself regarding a meeting and declutces himself from any commitment in doing so. All he can do is bad mouth other people who do not share his twisted sense of humour.
Clutchplates -- Jo Pete, Mon, 07 May 2012, 17:51:28 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. I seem to remember that Carl oke pissing me off a bit but can't remember why but I do know that he very stupidly didn't realise that his pisser was being pulled. I am from Boksburg and I certainly don't remember refusing to meet him.
Thing is with Clutchplates they have a complete inability to laugh at themselves. JIMBO(TOT)'s bad mouthing Clutchplates is very tongue in cheek as is my bad mouthing moffies. He must piss himself laughing when he gets a response like this.
I remember that the average Rhodie was very disdainful of Clutchplates. I remember the whole movie house in Salisbury collapsing with laughter when a SA traffic cop opened his mouth and spoke with a thick Afrikaans accent in a documentary. We found the Clutchplates bloody amusing people, even in Zimbabwe.
I had the great misfortune of trying to train "SAP" when they were deployed to Rhodesia. What a shower of shit.
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Postings From The Past....... -- Carl Schmidt, Mon, 07 May 2012, 7:37:38 (41-135-198-191.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.135.198.191)
Ray, there are a number of people on this site that knock the South Africans and it appears that this small handfull seem to think that when they sit down the sun sets. Yes I am a Rhodesian now living in South Africa, but not only that, I have a very strong South African back ground and what these guys say does not go down well and leaves a very foul taste in my mouth. I once suggested that I meet with the one guy who lives in Boksburg, Jhb as I live in Pretoria and unfortunately my offer was not accepted. I wonder why???
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question -- koenig, Tue, 19 Jun 2012, 20:28:14 (NoHost/138.199.73.169)
may i ask
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Sailing -- Jo Pete, Mon, 18 Jun 2012, 10:47:33 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. Terry that 550miles in a day is a momohull record. The roverall record is held by trimaran Groupama 3 which circumnavigated in 48 days. She sailed 28 500 miles at an average speed of 24.7 kts or 593 nm/day average so her best daily run must have been around 800 nm.
Sailing boats have become very high tech and therefore expensive. This has resulted in very small fleets. This years Volvo Ocean race has only 6 boats. The forerunner of the Volvo race was the Whitbread. In the first race in 1973 there were over 40 boats. In this race the Addison brothers ,Tommy & Peter, competed. They were from Umtali. Tommy actually skippered Expo 33 after the French skipper was lost overboard.
Volvo's sponsorship in sailing started with the ISAF World junior championship at Simonstown in 1998. I was mgr/coach of the Zimbabwe team attending that regatta. The team included my younger daughter,Meg, who had won the Open Zim Nationals as a 15 yr old schoolgirl. She came 4th in her class in the regatta from almost 80 countries. Zimbabwe and Austria were the only landlocked countries attending the regatta.
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. -- ., Sun, 17 Jun 2012, 7:24:26 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
actually it was Blue Cranes.. sorrree
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. -- ., Sun, 17 Jun 2012, 1:58:03 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
ha Terry I wished I had read this yesterday, I saw the game this morning, You Right, the Bulls are playing in Green and gold. And they won. But boy, those English sure are persistent.
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I Did My Part -- ray, Sun, 17 Jun 2012, 1:53:58 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
James 12 foot cubed does mean 12 X 12 x 12 if it were not the case you would have heard from the Wanker quicker than it takes to punch qwerty on a key board. And yes of course that is 1728 cubic feet.
The Three Threatened Species of Birds: Eagle, Vulture, Crane
TerryK while I was driving from Petes house, Formerly Known As Bots Pete, from Francistown to Shakawe, I encountered a half a horse lying on the side of the road. A black woman was dragging away a dead vulture away that had been struck by a car while feeding on the carcass, a major source of vult mortality. So I ran up to her, indicated "one moment please" and lifted the wing of the vulture.It was a white-backed.
What the hell did she want to do with the vulture, eat it?
So I dragged the horse about 50 yards away from the road using every single scrumming muscle I had to their outmost. As I left it there it was soon with vultures standing on top of each other three levels and devouring away.
As president of Audubon Society I donated R35,000 to Birdlife at Wakkerstroom to build a Grey Crowned Crane wetland and habitat.
Crowned Eagle? Was not able to do anything about it except tell everybody who want to listen NOT TO USE Biodiesel, because they cut down forests to grow Palm oil trees.
I did my best
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pi r squared.... -- James, Fri, 15 Jun 2012, 21:07:51 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
Terry K. Many thanks for the correction re the cubic footage... What is remarkable is that I have managed to
survive and even prevail with almost no ability in maths whatsoever. Most complicated use I faced was old Pythagoras when calculating the pitch of the roof about to be built on my shed when I knew the corrugated sheets came in 10 feet lengths. (I got it right too). And then there was the time I tried to lag a hot air pipe from the furnace. Pipe was, say, 27 feet long, 2 feet in circumference and the lagging material came in 18" wide
bits 12 feet long. How much lagging did I need? Once I sorted out the difference between pi r squared and 2 pi r,
I was off and running!
Churchill insurance in England charged me 2% more on my motorbike premium because I used a credit card, and the buggers don't take cheques. Seems very mean.
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BEAR PITS -- TerryK, Fri, 15 Jun 2012, 6:24:18 (NoHost/84.255.156.151)
O James, no James, 12 x 12 x 12 = 1728 ft3 !!! At least it did in Gwelo when I studied all these things.
Up early here - it is Friday their day of rest - watching the Volvo Ocean Race on lap top - live coverage coming in of the final dash at the end of leg 8 into Lorient. The coverage that can be provided live from the yachts shows just how good the technology is these days. Check it out - http://www.volvooceanrace.com
Jo Pete - record distance for 24 hours set at over 550 nautical miles. Forget False Bay and Table Bay - you couldn't even do that in Ngamo or Gwenoro Dams - not even on a sailboard !!!
Have a nice day.
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14 cu. ft? -- James, Thu, 14 Jun 2012, 16:40:35 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
Ah, that's right... A 12 cubic fot pit would be quite tiny... I think I meant a 12ft x 12ft x 12ft pit, and that would be 144 cubic feet, right? I had a 10/- bet against myself passing the Scottish Senior Leaving Certificate lower level Maths., but I passed! That was a long time ago, and I don't think my ability at maths has improved a jot since that time.
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12ft3 pit -- Jo Pete, Thu, 14 Jun 2012, 15:22:31 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif1.telkom-ipnet.co.za/198.54.202.250)
Yo BT. TerryK you just might fit a bear and an oke in a 12ft3 pit if you minced them first.
I was a big time hunter,mainly in the Zambesi Valley, until I shot an elephant in the mid 80's.
I still wonder why the hell I did that. No skill involved.
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FYI - RAY -- TerryK, Thu, 14 Jun 2012, 11:57:20 (NoHost/109.63.60.54)
For your eyes only Ray -
http://www.news24.com/SciTech/News/Three-SA-bird-species-under-threat-20120614
..and they are not LBJ's either.
Bulls are playing in green on Saturday !!!
Regards
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12 cubic foot pit... -- James, Wed, 13 Jun 2012, 1:10:27 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
TERRY K: I have vague memories of Port Francis and Terry K.
I am lucky if I can remember what happened last week, never mind in 2004. Don't think I was ever in Port Francis.
Worst 'hunting' I think I know of is gents who hunt down polar bears from a helicopter. Sport?
A chap here ofered to take me bear hunting - black bear, I think - and was miffed when I said I felt he and a bear shouud be dropped into a 12 foot cubed pit and to even things up a bit, he could have a knife...
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THIS @ THAT -- TerryK, Tue, 12 Jun 2012, 17:21:03 (NoHost/84.255.156.230)
James - at some time today it suddenly dawned upon me that I may have corresponded with you back in 2004 when I was in Florida Can't think why I didn't pick up on it again when I spent a year in Fort Frances, NW Ontario. After all you can drive to anywhere in Canada from Fort Frances in no more than four days !!! Anything for a beer - mine was an Alexander Keith.
Enjoyed fishing walleye and bass but couldn't identify with the guys running down moose on their quad bikes before shooting them. About as brave as the other guys from Miami with harpoon guns taking out the aligators on Lake Okeechobee when they were queing up for marshmallows at our magical swamp pub.
Remember - defend your water from the Yanks - they are out to steal it.
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Not a nation, a conspiracy... -- James, Tue, 12 Jun 2012, 16:39:10 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
TEYY K. I keep close tabs on Scotland and generally spend a couple of months in summer there every year. I have heard that the Scots are not a nation - they are a conspiracy, and sure enough I have never relinquished my ties with it even though my main residence has been Canada for decades now.
Wonder what the heck the torch was doing in the Orkneys? (I'm assuming you mean the Olympic Torch).
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. -- Ray, Tue, 12 Jun 2012, 15:35:14 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
TerryK a couple of years back had to clean up the front garden of a house in Las Vegas, trim branches etc. The temperature was 48.
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Searching for -- Dave / David Hall, Tue, 12 Jun 2012, 14:12:18 (NoHost/196.211.29.2)
Searching for Dave / David Hall a red head from 1984.
He'd be between the age of 48 - 54 give or take.
His father was a psychologist in Harare.
He worked at Zemco in Harare Then was working at Barlows Kempton Park.
He had been engaged to Trish (Patricia) Bowling
He has a sister Debbie who had studied in Grahamstown.
Any help would be greatly appreciated
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HOMETOWN -- TerryK, Tue, 12 Jun 2012, 4:31:25 (NoHost/84.255.156.230)
James - for some reason I thought that you were in Scotland - hence the torch query. Perhaps I have been mislead by various postings or an "Och aye" thrown in here and there. Your latest coms posting is starting to sound more like Canada,
Regards.
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Over insured... -- James, Tue, 12 Jun 2012, 0:29:16 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
TERRY K.
I used to have a super FTA (Free To Air) satellite system here - two dishes on the roof pointing at 3 satellites. But that is history now. I'm stuck with a miserable and expensive cable company (Rogers). Sometimes I listen to BBC Radio using the computer, and there are ways of getting BBC TV too. Might be worth asking locally about a satellite dish or dishes.
Insurance is indeed a rip off. I resent the fact that I HAVE to have car insurance but it not really controlled. As for house insurance - I have no mortgage, so have cancelled it. Most people are over insured. You can insure your house for a million, but if it is burned to the ground, you only get the replacement cost per square foot. And try asking the insurance company what that comes to! We are insuring the land our house stands on, and no one is going to run off with that.
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GWELO RAMBLINGS -- TerryK, Mon, 11 Jun 2012, 19:01:46 (NoHost/84.255.167.254)
Yo Jo Pete - ya well, now up to speed on the F1 scenario. Interesting but somewhat fabricated by the limitations imposed by the tyre situation. Feel for poor old Jenson - had him down to do well this season.
Struggling with the sports coverage situation on regular and even the pub based channels. Missed a GP last time, missed the GP and tennis yesterday and England / France football right now. Can watch an infinite number of Asian orientated cricket and Bollywood channels. Prefer the cricket that goes on in the open spaces between the Miamiesque developments here in Manama - could probably get a game if I volunteered !!! Big difference is the lack of water to make things green so they play in real dust bowls. However, as you well know, all this is the life of an engineer when away "on site". I yearn for the glorious situation that was Hippo Valley and Triangle in the good old days.
Hey - did you ever come across rock piling ??? All the rage here for heavy foundation loads on reclaimed docklands.
Safe my Gwelo Mate
Regards
TerryK
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This&thaT -- Jo Pete, Mon, 11 Jun 2012, 16:05:27 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. No my landmines were near Mukkers in 1976. We hit one then another in the vehicle sent to recover us. Biggest worry was that I couldn't hear the radio so didn't know wether my report of klapping a mine was recieved by anyone.
Terry you will know by now that the GP was won by Macaffa, but very interestingly, Grosjean was 2nd and Perez 3rd. Definitely 2 stars of the future.Great that the teams are now very close.
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THE TORCH -- TerryK, Mon, 11 Jun 2012, 7:03:24 (NoHost/89.148.0.129)
Hi James - sitting here in Bahrain trying to pick up the GP on TV. No luck but have seen the torch being paraded around the Shetlands. All looks quite nice up there - 36C in the evening here and probably over 40 tomorrow - 48 higher up in the Gulf - why do I do this ???(and for Ray - can birds still fly - sometimes planes can't take off ???)
Have sympathy about your insurance problem - the whole industry is a rip off in the UK. We have just swapped from our long term provider and saved nearly 50% !!! Have always renegotiated to match prices in the past but not this time - why cant they give their best price up front ???
Regards to all
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. -- Ray, Sat, 09 Jun 2012, 8:05:24 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
5 star driver sound pretty good to me.
Go Bokke!!
Congratulations to Eben Etzbeth, Juandre Kruger and Marcell Coetzee, wearing the green and gold for the first time.
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No one tells me anything -- James, Fri, 08 Jun 2012, 16:18:58 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
TERRY K. Have no idea where the torch is... No one tells me anything except the damn woman whose car bumper I lightly scraped when parking behind her in a tight spot.
She was out her car before I had completed parking mine.
I'm told that even if I pay for the very slight damage to her bumper, I will drop from a 9 star (perfect) driver to a 5 star driver. I drive a 1984 Tiger-like Panzer (Mercedes 300SD) and could probably have driven across the roof of her car had I wanted!
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David Attenborough -- TerryK, Fri, 08 Jun 2012, 7:39:45 (host86-162-224-148.range86-162.btcentralplus.com/86.162.224.148)
James - you brightened up a damp, dark morning.
Is the torch anywhere near you ???
Regards to all.
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jo pete -- Dave, Thu, 07 Jun 2012, 23:13:59 (host86-171-128-104.range86-171.btcentralplus.com/86.171.128.104)
Hey Jo Pete, I klupped 2 landmines in a day in Mudzi 76/77. Just on an off chance was that your 2 in a day as well?
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Neatly done commercial... -- James, Thu, 07 Jun 2012, 19:06:06 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
___________________________________________________________
Neatly done 2 minute commercial. Will lower the blood pressure...
http://www.youtube.com/embed/auSo1MyWf8g?rel=0
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. -- Rayn, Tue, 05 Jun 2012, 23:23:41 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Some gal by the name of Audie told me about the BT circa 2008,
but this was in Los Angeles.
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Aud Mac -- Jo Pete, Tue, 05 Jun 2012, 11:16:48 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. Just heard the very sad news that one of the founding members of this forum, Aud Mackie, passed away in Harare on 15th May. I met this lady in Byo more than once. RIP Aud.
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My Body -- Jo Pete, Tue, 05 Jun 2012, 10:42:57 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. I have permanent loss of hearing in my right ear. I attribute this to my army service, no supply of ear protection and klapping 2land mines,both on the same day. I was totally deaf for 2 days after this.
Unless the wren is within 10 ft of me I will not see it's beak move. My right eye is completely blind and sight in my left pretty shitty after my accident
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Silver Pendant -- Stephen Conradie, Tue, 05 Jun 2012, 9:51:32 (host86-186-137-200.range86-186.btcentralplus.com/86.186.137.200)
Rhodesia Silver shilling pendant enameled and made in Rhodesia goig for Auction on July 7th and catalogue on line week before. Auction www the-saleroom.com 0r john swan.co.uk
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AIDS conspiracy theories -- Thinking Allowed, Tue, 05 Jun 2012, 6:11:25 (2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2)
Professor Nicoli Nattrass explains why a disproportionate percentage of Black South Africans and African Americans subscribe to conspiracy theories about the origins of AIDS..
AUDIO
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01j5nwl
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High C -- James, Mon, 04 Jun 2012, 22:27:04 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
..........................................................
Sorry about your loss of high frequency sounds, Ray.
I thought I was badly off - buggered my hearing by stupidly using an air compressor and chisel to clean up stones in the old cottage... But I heard that wren perfectly. In fact, a pal died and I have put together a wee memento mori and have included the wee wren singing toward the end of the piece as a kind of delicate note of hope(?)
....................................................
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Oh Boy, Birds my favorite. -- Ray, Mon, 04 Jun 2012, 20:20:22 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
James sadly when I see a wren singing I just see his beak moving and silence. I can hear an owl hooting five miles away better even than our most expert birders here, but I lost high frequency from guns due to my call up for 4'th Infantry, RSA. My low frequency hearing has increased accordingly. The wren you saw singing occurs in the USA also, and it called a Winter Wren, in Scotland it is just called a "Wren". I can even hear a raven's wings flapping when he flies in the sky.
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Singing wren... -- James, Sun, 03 Jun 2012, 19:49:47 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
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RAY: I didn't know that a wren was a songbird until last summer in Scotland when I heard a wonderful song from a wee bird at the top of a dead pine tree near my cottage. Only later, when I looked closely at the camcorder footage I had taken of him (her?) did I see that it was a wren. What an astonishing singer! I think this one nests in a drystane dyke close to the house. In Scots they are called 'cutty quaens' - wee, cut down queens!
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. -- Ray, Sun, 03 Jun 2012, 16:17:11 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Yes Terryk, I was watching the Bulls game at the Cock and Bull in Santa Monica, the quicker they get rid of those little pink shirts and shorts the better. Glad to hear the birds are doing well, I have a little birdhouse attached to the eaves and a pair of House Wrens nested there. More spectacularly a pair of Great Horn Owls nest and breed every year in the eucalyptus overlooking the yard.
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RUGBY -- TerryK, Sun, 03 Jun 2012, 6:24:36 (host86-174-221-63.range86-174.btcentralplus.com/86.174.221.63)
Hi Ray - first reports that I have seen show the Stormers winning 19 - 14 at Loftus. That doesn't happen all that often - beers on you !!! Interested to note that the game was watched by pink clad fans - better get yourself a new pink strip. Also interested to see that Heyneke Meyer has, by my count, picked many more Bulls and Sharks than Stormers for his 30 man squad. That makes me wonder.
Happy to announce that 2 baby Greater Spotted Woodpeckers fledged from their nest in a Scotch Pine at the top of my garden yesterday. They have always been shy in the past but seem to have relaxed a bit this year and joined the regular nesters - Blackbirds, Thrushes, Robins, Blue Tits, Nut Hatches, Wrens and a prolific pair of Wood Pigeons.
Sadly looking wet for the Queen's Jubilee floating pageant on the Thames today.
Regards to all.
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. -- Ray, Sat, 02 Jun 2012, 3:57:47 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Oooooh! now I get it. The usher dosn't want the pastor to find out who said his sermon is boring.
aaaa well!
In 12 hours the Pink Panters will be taking on the Streep Donkies.
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Funny? -- James, Fri, 01 Jun 2012, 16:09:58 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
RAY: The 'joke' seems more silly than funny... I THINK the joke is that the usher is happy that the pastor's wife doesn't know who he is and he is not going to tell her... Maybe Hank will slap his sides and fall over laughing at that!
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Joke -- Ray, Fri, 01 Jun 2012, 6:20:21 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
James thank you for the nice joke you sent me. But I really don't get it. Can you or anyone else help??
If the pastor was doubling up as the usher the mom would have recognized him no?
The Usher
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row, please," she answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No," he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No," she said.
"Good!" Said the usher.
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. -- ray, Fri, 01 Jun 2012, 5:58:37 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
James!! can you help her...
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. -- ray, Fri, 01 Jun 2012, 5:56:05 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
So they ARE breeding and releasing the bird in the United States Sheeesh....I see there is a population in Florida.. my gawd the next thing I may hear is a Bokmakierie singing in my backyard in Beverly Hills.. \
Bulls!! Saturday morning.. Pienkies... grrrrrrrr
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Ndola -- Maggi, Fri, 01 Jun 2012, 4:20:52 (dsl-202-173-135-149.nsw.westnet.com.au/202.173.135.149)
Just wondering if anyone reading / posting etc has any contacts in Ndola. If we can get things sorted out this side we are wanting to head up into that area with the entire family. Will try Tripadvisor etc but a contact would help. Many thanks.
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STORKS -- TerryK, Thu, 31 May 2012, 22:41:38 (host81-151-115-56.range81-151.btcentralplus.com/81.151.115.56)
Ray - I reckon that we have cracked it. I quote from Wikipedia:
QUOTE
Abdim's Stork
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Abdim's Stork, (Ciconia abdimii) also known as White-bellied Stork, is a black stork with grey legs, red knees and feet, grey bill and white underparts. It has red facial skin in front of eye and blue skin near the bill in breeding season. It is the smallest species of stork (but still a large bird), at 73 cm (29 in) and a weight of just over 1 kg (2.2 lbs). The female lays two to three eggs and is slightly smaller than male.
The Abdim's Stork is distributed to open habitats throughout Eastern Africa, from Ethiopia south to South Africa. Its diet consists mainly of locusts, caterpillars and other large insects, although the birds will also eat small reptiles, amphibians, mice, crabs and eggs.[1]
Among the smallest storks, this species is welcomed and protected by local African belief as a harbinger of rain and good luck. The name commemorates the Turkish Governor of Wadi Halfa in Sudan Bey El-Arnaut Abdim (1780–1827).[1]
Widespread and common throughout its large range, the Abdim's Stork is evaluated as Least Concern on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species. It is the subject of a nationally-coordinated breeding program in the United States; the Population Management Plan for this species is administered by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums.
UNQUOTE
Apologies to the non-twitchers for this rather "Bobesque" post.
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. -- Ray, Thu, 31 May 2012, 16:35:40 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Its going to be an interesting weekend, because if the Bulls lose, they will see the Sharks go ahead of them in the log, unless the Lions achieve the miraculous and beat the Sharks, but that does NOT seem likely with the Shark's Beast carrying around 6' 6" 250 Lb players above his head.
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Pink Panters -- Ray, Thu, 31 May 2012, 15:26:58 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Hi Terryk, they have changed the names of birds quite a bit in the last ten years, there is no White bellied stork anymore, but the most common stork is the Abdim's stork, it does, like most of the other storks have a white belly. Most amazingly I saw one about ten years ago strolling along the shore at the Sepulveda Basin preserve in Los Angeles, how the blazes did it get there, we speculate it was a ship assist (oil tanker from the middle East?) because this is not a zoo bird.
It irritates me to no end that the Bulls are playing in these pink jerseys, where are the real Blue Bulls of days gone by?
Nevertheless the Stormers have had some attrition, and the "Pink Panters" are the favorites to win, and they should go back to the top of the log in the SA conference.
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STORKS -- TerryK, Thu, 31 May 2012, 8:42:26 (host81-151-115-56.range81-151.btcentralplus.com/81.151.115.56)
Hi Ray - no, definately not a White Stork - they are much larger and were only occasional visitors in small groups around Gwelo. I had in mind that they were Egyptian Storks but they are not included in my Roberts (Revised Edition - First Impression 1957 !!!)The White Bellied (no 78)is the best fit for size, appearance, distribution and "A very common gregarious bird recorded in flocks of several hundred".
I have been following the bizarre face eating incident in Miami - thank heavens I avoided anything like that when I was there. I also note that there is a Stormer / Bulls showdown scheduled at Loftus on Saturday - your chance for revenge I think.
Regards to all - gone quiet here again.
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Birds and Swarms -- Ray, Tue, 29 May 2012, 18:06:02 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Hi TerryK all stork species have white bellies, could they have been the large, "White Stork" of Europe which spends the summer in Africa when it is winter in Europe?
Sadly there used to be millions and millions of Pratincoles in Southern Africa when the first settlers arrived. When ever a locust swarm occurred the birds would come by the thousands to devour the locusts, earning them the name of Sprinkaanvoël. We used to call the White Stork this name also. Sadly the chemical companies decided that it would be better to use pesticides to eradicate the locusts because they could not charge the farmer for work done by pratincoles. As a result the pratincole is now a very scarce bird.
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Plump, hairy caterpillars. -- James, Tue, 29 May 2012, 17:22:34 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
TERRY K. No bad mouthing from me... Can't say I ever saw an infestation like the one you describe. I recall watching our garden boy picking something off the trunk of a tree in our garden and popping them in his mouth. Plump, hairy caterpillars. He'd squeeze the guts out, gulp them down and chuck away the skins. He obviously relished them. These lads moved head to tail in a tight line like a rope -looked like a snake moving along the ground or up a tree.
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Baboon spiders -- Jo Pete, Tue, 29 May 2012, 17:13:29 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. TerryK what I clearly remember is that we terrorised the broeks off the girls in our class at Chaplin by hiding baboon spiders in their desks. Max response was from Janet Heathcote
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CONFUSED -- TerryK, Tue, 29 May 2012, 9:27:55 (host86-162-227-65.range86-162.btcentralplus.com/86.162.227.65)
Ya well no fine ek se - I am now massive confused about ants, termites, spiders, moths et al - and about who is leading on points !!!
Nice to see such an active exchange - hasn't happened happened here for a long time.
So, my bit, once upon a time, long, long ago in the major metropolis of Gwelo we had a huge invasion of army worm. They were so thick on the ground that you couldn't walk on the school grounds (CJR) without squashing them. Low and behold huge flocks of white bellied (I think - Ray please confirm) storks arrived and gorged themselves to the point where they couldn't take off when you approached them until they had vomited up part of their load !!!
Opions, corrections and foul mouthing awaited.
Safe my Mates - and - why isn't Jo Pete in on all of this ???
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We are all your friends here Mr. Wanker... -- James, Tue, 29 May 2012, 2:33:21 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
Mr. WANKER from Bozeman... Wrong yet again. Dear chap, you really ought to try and get something right. You corrected me on my use of the term "ants' nest", but I never used the term. Learn to read, old boy. Start with the alphabet -it realy is not too difficult to master; we are sure that you can do it. We are all your friends here and are rooting for you!
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Wee WANKER, you are wrong again... -- James, Tue, 29 May 2012, 2:26:11 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
Wee WANKER, you are wrong again... Time you read a book or a paper or something. Science Friday says:-
"New research finds that one species of moth is capable of actively jamming the sonar used by moth-hunting bats. This biological equivalent of the 'electronic countermeasures' used by the military to jam radar and sonar signals is described in the journal Science..."
Expect that you are enjoying the attention, but please do try a to get something (anything!) right.
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Ground hunting spiders... -- James, Tue, 29 May 2012, 2:18:54 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
RAY: Yes, you are right - as ususal. The spider I called a 'ground hunting spider' is the Baboon Spider (Harpactirinae) - Tarantulas of Africa.
In Africa they are known as Baboon Spiders. Also known by the name "tarantula". Baboon spiders are not the most venomous spiders but they can give a nasty bite and can be very aggressive. Victims will experience severe pain at the bite site, vomit and feel weak and dizzy. Baboon spiders are large and hairy, their body size alone can reach up to 3 inches. There are over 40 species of baboon spiders living in Africa. They live on the ground, build silk burrows and generally wait for their prey to amble by. Female baboon spiders can live up to 25 years and many people choose them as pets which is leading to a decline in their numbers.
Yes, that's the one. Mine was very feisty. It had a rust coloured bum as big as a goosegog.
Is that our resident BT idiot the wee Wanker from the Voss Inn in Bozemna, Montana? Feisty little bugger with a hairy bum nae doot!
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. -- Ray, Tue, 29 May 2012, 0:45:34 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Dear Henry, from the about.com website..
In Africa they are known as Baboon Spiders, you may be more familiar with the name "tarantula". Baboon spiders are not the most venomous spiders but they can give a nasty bite and can be very aggressive.
Symptoms:
Victims will experience severe pain at the bite site, vomit and feel weak and dizzy, and have a propensity to become disagreeable persons on the internet.
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baboon spiders -- hank, Mon, 28 May 2012, 23:50:06 (host-174-45-87-60.bzm-mt.client.bresnan.net/174.45.87.60)
Aah, doc rock. Lurking behind the old termite mound eh? You can tell yer auld choom that baboon spiders (of bobbejon spinne as jy wil) are no more poisonous than the least venemous of the unnecessarily feared taratulas.
Oh yes, also tell him taht they are termite mounds, not ants' nests.
Tara.
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. -- Ray, Mon, 28 May 2012, 23:40:11 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Wha' aboot bobbejaan spinnekoppe, Hank?
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"very" poisonous ground hunting spiders -- henry, Mon, 28 May 2012, 23:24:19 (host-174-45-87-60.bzm-mt.client.bresnan.net/174.45.87.60)
Please would someone inform the future regent of the newly independent homeland of Scotland that, there are no "very poisonous ground hunting spiders" in Efrika, Souf of the Sahara.
Or singing moths.
Poetic Matabeles.
or the such.
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Fascin ating insects... -- James, Mon, 28 May 2012, 22:14:34 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
Thank you Roger... I have fond memories of ants from my Rhodesian boyhood. I could never resist breaking a wee bit from a white ant tunnel and noticing how quickly it was defended from the inside with the soldier ants with their big brown nippers. I also recall tacking a whole column of Matabeles with a kettle of boiling water. The skunk-like pong they put out and the sizzling noise was impressive.
Insects were a joy - one time, I even had the very poisonous ground hunting spider as a pet - and I can still hear the high-pitched beeping a moth made when I touched it. It had come into the house one night and landed on the curtains. I read later that the beeping was to confuse
the 'radar' used by bats!
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Ant's -- Roger, Sat, 26 May 2012, 8:13:08 (125-238-117-52.jetstream.xtra.co.nz/125.238.117.52)
Hey james,
Loved that link about the ant hill
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The Spear -- Zuma, Fri, 25 May 2012, 5:23:54 (2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/may/24/spear-zuma-portrait-court-apartheid#most-zeitgeist
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Leopard's revenge... -- James, Fri, 25 May 2012, 2:27:52 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
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RAY: Whenever I hear of human idiocy toward animals I play the leopard piece which Jimbo sent aeons ago - the one in the back of the pick up being poked by a stick...
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. -- Ray, Thu, 24 May 2012, 23:09:00 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Poor ants.
Hope we learned something from this.
A wild mountain lion was found wandering around in Santa Monica this week, an urban and shopping center with high rise buildings at least five miles away from the Malibu mountains. While Fish and Game was trying to tranquilize it with darts some trigger happy cop shot it.
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Ant hill. SITE. -- James, Thu, 24 May 2012, 16:05:40 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
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Ant Hill.
This is an amazing video of an ant hole that was filled in with cement and dug up to see what it looked like. Very interesting and video is short.
A few years ago, I mentioned that along with a few chums we carved out an underground gang hut for ourselves - we were schoolboys in N. Rhodesia. Someone on the site here scoffed at the idea staying that ant hills were not big enough. Then a kind BT chap added that he had a neighbour once in NR who made a garage from a defunct ant hill...
Here's something to think about the next time you stick a water hose in an ant hill and try to flush them out. Fascinating!
http://www.dump.com/biggestant/
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True -- Jimbo, Mon, 21 May 2012, 22:12:30 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that;
“When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, best strategy is to dismount " .
However, in government, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6 Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And of course....
13 Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
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The Oldest Joke -- Ray, Mon, 21 May 2012, 18:25:50 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
James here is the oldest recorded joke in the world if the originating website can be believed: Translated from Hieroglyphics 4600 years old : "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go fishing."
Second Oldest Joke from a Greek book, 4 th century AD
“A Merchant was on a sea voyage when a big storm blew up, causing his slaves to weep in terror. ‘Don’t cry,’ he consoled them, 'In my will it says when I die you will all be free.'
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Ageless jokes... -- James, Sun, 20 May 2012, 19:12:21 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
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The longevity of some jokes is amazing, AND they can criss cross the oceans at the speed of light. I told a hoary one to a chum in Glasgow a few years ago:
'Did you hear the one about the Newfie (Newfoundlander)
bobby who had to drag a horse which had fallen dead in the
shafts of the cart all of three blocks until he could find a street name he could spell so he could write out his report?'
My chum said his dad used to tell the same joke (with a Highland policeman) back in the 1930s.
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More Fannies -- ray, Sun, 20 May 2012, 17:13:49 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
This joke told to me many years ago, 1970, in Pretoria by a girlfriend. Yup that's how old it is. A secretary was frustrated because her boss kept on introducing her to colleagues as Miss Fanny. She took him aside and said, my name is Frannie, not Fanny. Please remember that. So the next time her forgetful absent-minded boss was about to introduce her, she whispered, Remember the R!!. He then introduced her as Miss Crunt.
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Fanny Green -- Jimbo, Sun, 20 May 2012, 8:20:11 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
Fanny Green
An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.
'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.'
The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.
'Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months.'
This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Fanny Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.
'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.;
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall,
voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.
The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.
The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Fanny Green?'
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,
'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.
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Appropriate Humor For The BT -- Ray (yooohoo!!!), Wed, 16 May 2012, 3:32:44 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
SENIOR'S TEXTING CODE:
ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker, Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL…CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
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Youn ventriloquist... Joke. -- James, Sun, 13 May 2012, 23:21:46 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and,one night, he's doing a show in a small town in Tasmania.
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blondejokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human
being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general... pathetically all in the name of humour!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
"You stay out of this, mate! I'm talking to that little shit on your lap!"
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lol -- Jimbo, Sun, 13 May 2012, 1:49:22 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•
A Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest, "I'm pregnant."
He asked, "How did this happen, my child?"
She said, "I think it must be the second coming."
The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think it's the second coming?".
She replied, "Because I swallowed the first one........"
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I hear you... -- James, Thu, 10 May 2012, 20:39:19 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
___________________________________________________________
Aye ahint ye. I hear, but dinna undestan'.
___________________________________________________________
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. -- Ray, Thu, 10 May 2012, 3:39:51 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
and drink watery Miller High Life
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. -- Ray, Thu, 10 May 2012, 3:35:42 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
yes its dead.
Going back to my kia where I can listen to Youtube songs on my I-phone with earphones.
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. -- Urgutoo, Thu, 10 May 2012, 3:23:49 (mail137.anonymouse.org/193.200.150.137)
Jeez, this place is dead! So, here's your first
lesson (James, you there?) in Klingon.
;klsa = take me to your kia.
zxcnb/45 = is this your traditional dress?
Lessons to follow on pronunciation! Don't miss
them.
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. -- Ray, Wed, 09 May 2012, 0:04:42 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Hi Pete, the purpose putting old stuff up was just nostalgia, no intention to stir things up.
I see the Blue Bulls have a new name...relating to their defensive capability..
The Pink Panters.
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Clutchplates -- Jo Pete, Mon, 07 May 2012, 17:51:28 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. I seem to remember that Carl oke pissing me off a bit but can't remember why but I do know that he very stupidly didn't realise that his pisser was being pulled. I am from Boksburg and I certainly don't remember refusing to meet him.
Thing is with Clutchplates they have a complete inability to laugh at themselves. JIMBO(TOT)'s bad mouthing Clutchplates is very tongue in cheek as is my bad mouthing moffies. He must piss himself laughing when he gets a response like this.
I remember that the average Rhodie was very disdainful of Clutchplates. I remember the whole movie house in Salisbury collapsing with laughter when a SA traffic cop opened his mouth and spoke with a thick Afrikaans accent in a documentary. We found the Clutchplates bloody amusing people, even in Zimbabwe.
I had the great misfortune of trying to train "SAP" when they were deployed to Rhodesia. What a shower of shit.
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Postings From The Past....... -- Carl Schmidt, Mon, 07 May 2012, 7:37:38 (41-135-198-191.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.135.198.191)
Ray, there are a number of people on this site that knock the South Africans and it appears that this small handfull seem to think that when they sit down the sun sets. Yes I am a Rhodesian now living in South Africa, but not only that, I have a very strong South African back ground and what these guys say does not go down well and leaves a very foul taste in my mouth. I once suggested that I meet with the one guy who lives in Boksburg, Jhb as I live in Pretoria and unfortunately my offer was not accepted. I wonder why???
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Postings From The Past....... -- Ray, Sun, 06 May 2012, 5:37:20 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Jimbo, why on earth use these pages for bad mouthing South Africans, when you know plenty of Rhodesians have made South Africa their home and suport South Africa, especially when there are Rhodesian in the site, You seemed to be under the imoression that all Rhodesians should support Australia. Save your anti South African Cricket remarks for the cricket pages We could spend hours debating the intelligence and moral of Australian cricketers as well, but this is not the forum. AS referring to Hansie as the Rock Spider, (God bless his Soul -Ray) I wonder if you are trying to alienate all Rhodies of Afrikaans descent. You are terribly misguided into thinking that your value system is applicable to all Rhodesians. Take your prejudices and go peddle them elsewhere.
Posted on the BT on Monday May 17, 1999,by Francois Du Toit.
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. -- Ray, Sun, 06 May 2012, 5:05:01 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Correction, Piet Hein captured the Spanish Silver Fleet, we use to sing a song about it at school.
Piet Hein, sijn namen bin klein, sijn daden binnen groot,
Hij hebt gewonnen, die silveren vloot!
Aaamenn...
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. -- Ray, Sun, 06 May 2012, 4:51:20 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Piet Hein Donner, huh.
What a name!
Piet Hein defeated the Spanish Armada.
And as to the Donner....
well..
Bliksem daai Mozzies!!
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JIMBO(TOT) -- Jo Pete, Fri, 04 May 2012, 16:18:21 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif1.telkom-ipnet.co.za/198.54.202.250)
Yo BT. Well JIMBO(TOT), got that off your chest, but I agree with your sentiments 100%. I did enjoy the film on Nat Geo the other night about Bin Laden being taken out. Best thing the Yanks have done since they swung Suddenly Insane.
But JIMBO(TOT) you may have to wind your neck in a bit as the Dutch have banned those boom cafes.
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Muslims -- Jimbo, Fri, 04 May 2012, 7:56:32 (NoHost/203.7.175.48)
Go Dutch
Go the Dutch - but why wait until 2013?
The Netherlands , where six per cent of the population is now Muslim, is scrapping multiculturalism: The Dutch government says it will abandon the long-standing model of multiculturalism that has encouraged Muslim immigrants to create a parallel society within the Netherlands .
A new integration bill, which Dutch Interior Minister Piet Hein Donner presented to parliament on June 16, reads: "The government shares the social dissatisfaction over the multicultural society model, and plans to shift priority to the values of the Dutch people. In the new integration system, the values of the Dutch society play a central role. With this change, the government steps away from the model of a multicultural society.
The letter continues: "A more obligatory integration is justified because the government also demands that from its own citizens. It is necessary because otherwise the society gradually grows apart and eventually no one feels at home anymore in the Netherlands ..
The new integration policy will place more demands on immigrants. For example, immigrants will be required to learn the Dutch language, and the government will take a tougher approach to immigrants who ignore Dutch values or disobey Dutch law.
The government will also stop offering special subsidies for Muslim immigrants because, according to Donner; "It is not the government's job to integrate immigrants." (How bloody true).
The government will introduce new legislation that outlaws forced marriages and will also impose tougher measures against Muslim immigrants who lower their chances of employment by the way they dress. More specifically, the government will impose a ban on face-covering, Islamic burqas as of January 1, 2013. Holland has done that whole liberal thing, and realized - maybe too late - that creating a nation of tribes will kill the nation itself.
The future of Australia , the UK and Canada may well be read here. READERS NOTE: Muslim immigrants leave their countries of birth because of civil and political unrest "CREATED BY THE VERY NATURE OF THEIR CULTURE."
Countries like Holland , Canada , the UK and Australia have an established way of life that actually works, so why embrace the unworkable? If Muslims do not wish to accept another culture, the answer is simple; "STAY WHERE YOU ARE!!"
This gives a whole new meaning to the term; 'Dutch Courage' - Unfortunately Australian, UK and Canadian politicians don't have the ... guts to do the same. There's a whole lot of truth here!!!!
ELECTION 2013 IS COMING. A Nation of Sheep, Breeds a Government of Wolves! I'M 100% for PASSING THIS ON!!! Let's Take a Stand!!!
Borders: Closed!
Language: English
Culture: The British Constitution, is the Bill of Rights!
Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare!
NO freebies to: Non-Citizens! We the people are coming!!!
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. -- Ray, Tue, 01 May 2012, 4:15:07 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Ja James dis is 'n "Jagse Hings" (Horny Stallion)
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Die Zebra-merrie. -- James, Sun, 29 Apr 2012, 18:35:36 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
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Die Zebra-merrie.
'n Zebra-merrie in 'n dieretuin het bietjie oud begin raak, toe stuur hulle haar plaas toe vir haar laaste paar jare.
Die zebra is baie opgewonde en hardloop rond soos 'n mal ding.
Sy kyk rond en sien 'n snaakse bruin dier met spene.
"Wat's jy?" vra sy.
"Ek's 'n koei."
"Wat maak jy?"
"Ek maak melk vir die boer."
"Ek sien. Cool."
Sy check so 'n snaakse klein diertjie en skiet uit soontoe.
"Wat's jy?" vra sy weer.
"Ek's 'n hoender."
"Wat maak jy?"
"Ek produseer eiers vir die boer."
"Ek sien."
Net toe sien die zebra hierdie HOT dier wat feitlik net soos sy lyk, behalwe nou vir die strepe. Sy sny 'n lyn soontoe.
"Haai, ek's 'n zebra. Wat's jy?" vra sy.
"Ek's 'n hings," reken hy.
"Wow", sê die zebra. "Wat maak jy?"
"Trek uit daai pajamas, girl, dan wys ek jou!"
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The Official Funniest Joke in the world and two runner ups. -- Ray, Sat, 28 Apr 2012, 15:45:24 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
The winner of thousands of jokes submitted was:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"[3]
The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
While this was the top joke in the UK:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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I'm awake... -- James., Thu, 26 Apr 2012, 1:13:43 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
Well, I'M awake! I bet that Hank is too - sharp as a tack!
And Ray never sleeps.
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Lets get some life in Here -- po[ewq (:(), Wed, 25 Apr 2012, 22:09:23 (mail125.anonymouse.org/193.200.150.125)
Boy, that sure woke this place up!
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Lets get some life in Here -- Ray, Thu, 19 Apr 2012, 7:30:59 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Woman 1: "Has your guy been circumcised?"
Woman 2: "No. He's a complete dick."
Woman1: "Do you ever talk to your man during sex?"
Woman2: "Only if he phones me."
What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?
Nothing. They both think they know everything.
My husband added some spice to our marriage.
He's left home.
Why do women really need men about the house?
Because they still haven't invented a vibrator that can do the dishes, cut the lawn, and paint the house.
How can you tell if a man is lying?
You can see his lips moving.
A woman goes out to buy a gun.
"It's for my husband." she explained to the shop owner.
"But, madam, guns are very personal. They need to be registered to their owner. Why not bring your husband along?" No I cannot, he must not know I'm going to shoot him."
Why don't men get piles?
Because they're perfect a***holes.
Why are married women heavier than single women?
When single women come home they go to see what's in the fridge then go to bed. A married woman comes home, see what's in bed then go to the fridge.
How many men does it take to wallpaper the dining room?
Four if you slice them thinly.
Why are all jokes about women one-liners?
So men can understand them.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
Why do men need sports action replays 30 seconds after the event?
Because they've forgotten what happened.
What does it mean when a man is laying in bed calling a woman's name and gasping for breath?
She's hasn't held the pillow down long enough.
Why did God create man first?
Because he needed a draft before creating the perfect specimen of the species.
What do you give a man who has everything?
Answer 1) Penicillin.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
Did you hear about the husband who bought a tube of lubricating jelly, saying he was really going to satisfy his wife? She smeared it on the bedroom doorknob so he could not leave early.
Should wives put the photographs of their missing husbands on beer cans?
When is the safest time for sex?
When your boyfriend's away on business.
Why are hurricanes usually named after women?
Because they're wet and wild when they come and they take your car and house when they leave.
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. -- Ray, Thu, 12 Apr 2012, 15:20:14 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Terry-K, who knows what would have happened with the World Cup if Heyneke had got the present job 4 years earlier as he probably should have.
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So what is it -- going to take to remove, Thu, 12 Apr 2012, 2:09:27 (www8.flk1.host-h.net/188.40.0.67)
2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2 from this site.
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The troubling truth about Zimbabwe -- Matthew Parris, Thu, 12 Apr 2012, 1:02:25 (2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2)
http://www.spectator.co.uk/columnists/all/7764243/the-troubling-truth-about-zimbabwe.thtml
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BULLS (IN PINK !!!) -- TerryK, Wed, 11 Apr 2012, 19:18:41 (host81-159-19-115.range81-159.btcentralplus.com/81.159.19.115)
Ray - Tukkies Varsity Cup success noted. As the most loyal of Stormers fans I must thank you for releasing Heyneke Meyer and all his merry men to take on the Bokke job. It will not be an easy role for the Bulls to refill.
Hopefully the Bokke will now deliver to their true potential and the management exchanges with the press will be a lot less embarrasing.
Regards to all.
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. -- Ray, Tue, 10 Apr 2012, 22:52:07 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Yeah!
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Rugby -- Jo Pete, Tue, 10 Apr 2012, 17:40:30 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo EBT. Ray about the only rugby cup that's going there in the foreseeable future
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TUKS, OF NIKS !!!! -- Ray, Mon, 09 Apr 2012, 22:52:50 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Would have given an eye tooth, yes still have all 4 of them but not much else, to have been at at my Alma-mater this night, Tuks 29 Maties 21,
THE VARSITY CUP MOVES TO PRETORIA!!
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Sailing -- Jo Pete, Fri, 06 Apr 2012, 15:51:10 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif1.telkom-ipnet.co.za/198.54.202.250)
Yo BT. Actually Terry the first time I stepped on a sailing boat was at Gwenora about 1966. Later I started sailing in earnest in Durban. When I returned to Rhodesia I joined the Chrome Sailing club on Gwenora as I was building an adjacent dam,Gwenora. I had a very close association with sailing until my accident in 2009. I had a racing 25'keelboat on Vaal Dam. In Zim I was very involved in sailing,amongst other things being National Junior coach for many years. In the 80's we had a regatta at Gwenora ever Easter and our Nationals at Kyle or Kariba ever Gooks & Spooks.
I am closely following the Volvo Ocean Race but I am a bit disappointed with the number of retirements on this leg.
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VOLVO OCEAN RACE -- TerryK, Fri, 06 Apr 2012, 12:05:32 (host109-145-55-122.range109-145.btcentralplus.com/109.145.55.122)
Yo Jo Pete -
Refer your "lighty" days as Sailor Pete on Ngama Dam. Check nicely the following website covering the Volvo Ocean Race. The address should give you an interactive tracker where you can use the scale and time sliders to follow the yachts all the way from NZ. Super tactics in the last few hours with Telephonica threatening to sail over the top of Puma. Telephonica had been 400Km behind after sheltering for repairs off Cape Horn.
Saw them all in Cape Town last December and went on board Abu Dahbi (retired from this leg)
http://www.volvooceanrace.com/en/racetracker/rdc.html
All very MotoGP-ish at the moment.
Safe my Mate
Happy Easter to the Rest of You
TerryK
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Chit Chat between Jimbo and Pete.. -- Ray, Thu, 05 Apr 2012, 4:44:53 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
> 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight. The seat was next to a black man. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat." After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. So the attendant gestured to the black man and said, "Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain wants to respect all of his passengers comforts. "
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BT -- Jay, Wed, 04 Apr 2012, 23:54:16 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
> A blonde was on holiday, driving through Darwin.
> She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but
> was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
> After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of
> one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go
> out and catch my own crocodile, so I can get a pair of shoes for free".
>
> The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and
> give it a try"!
>
> The blonde headed out toward the river, determined to catch a crocodile!
>
>
> Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the
> side of the bank where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep
> in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
>
>
> Just then, he spots a huge 3 metre croc swimming rapidly toward her. With
> lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the
> slimy banks of the river. Lying nearby were 3 more of the dead creatures,
> all lying on their backs.
>
>
>
> The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.
> The blonde struggled and flipped the Croc onto its back. Rolling her eyes
> heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out........
>
>
>
> " SH*T, SH*T, SH*T, THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"
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. -- Ray, Wed, 04 Apr 2012, 7:56:13 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Velly Goot, Terry K, but I prefer them Great Tits...
I was cheering for the "Blue Bulls"apparently the wrong team..
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Joke -- Jo Pete, Tue, 03 Apr 2012, 17:30:32 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. Danie, same oke, I'm telling you!
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joke -- danie, Mon, 02 Apr 2012, 21:08:06 (host-174-45-87-60.bzm-mt.client.bresnan.net/174.45.87.60)
The same oke?
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Joke -- Jo Pete, Mon, 02 Apr 2012, 9:43:40 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif0.telkom-ipnet.co.za/196.25.255.250)
Yo BT. Oke is on his way to work. Wife phones and tells him the windows are frozen so he tells her pour some hot water. A while later he phones back to find out how she is getting on. No fine ,but the computer is f*&ked.
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SUPER RUGBY -- TerryK, Sun, 01 Apr 2012, 9:56:46 (host86-173-110-189.range86-173.btcentralplus.com/86.173.110.189)
Morning Ray - I see that the Stormers edged it with a late penalty. Great attendance and the new colours looked quite striking if not particularly "Bullesque".
Ongoing brilliant spring here in Kent - so good I cranked up my old BMW bike to join the queues in the petrol tanker driver strike farce. Blue Tits nesting in my "Gentlemens' Retreat".
Regards to all - some good jokes posted,
TerryK
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Rugby -- Doug, Sun, 01 Apr 2012, 2:21:08 (c-50-138-149-227.hsd1.vt.comcast.net/50.138.149.227)
Try this for rugby
http://www.vipbox.tv/
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Ant Brooks -- Jay, Sat, 31 Mar 2012, 17:58:01 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
Bob is the resident BT secondhand newsman, if you cannot afford up to date releases.
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rugby -- Ant Brooks, Sat, 31 Mar 2012, 17:06:06 (adsl-108-129-6-11.aby.bellsouth.net/108.129.6.11)
Howzit ekse, Back after a long hiatus.
I see the quality folk(Jo Pete, Ray etc) are still here.
The quick rugby question. Can you recommend any sites(preferably free) to watch rugby? We do not have cable or satellite. My clutch-plate mate is trying to move back to the Former-Racist-Regime so my rugby watching may become limited. He tells me that he will be returning to a boere-volk nirvana completely unaffected by the ANC.
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Sharks -- Sharkie, Sat, 31 Mar 2012, 11:25:08 (NoHost/192.148.117.101)
Yeahhhhh the sharks
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:-) -- Jay, Sat, 31 Mar 2012, 4:37:38 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
Skinny little white Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says:
'7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'
The little white Irishman faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says,
'What's wrong with you, little fellow?'
In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'
The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you
the answers to the questions everyone always asks me................... I'm 7
feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3
pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.'
The little white Irishman says:
'Turner Brown'?!....Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around"!
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Joke -- Jo Pete, Fri, 30 Mar 2012, 16:32:56 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif1.telkom-ipnet.co.za/198.54.202.250)
Yo BT. Man on his way to work gets a call from his wife. Sweetie the windows are frozen. What should I do? Pour hot water over them. A few minutes later he phones back to see how she is getting on. I'm fine but the computer is f*&ked
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BT -- Jay, Fri, 30 Mar 2012, 3:48:18 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
Remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking BA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"BA?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of BA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a £5 million remodelling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I bet you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who the F**k did your hair?"
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BT -- Jay, Fri, 30 Mar 2012, 3:27:12 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
Three Holy Men and a Bear
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan .
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
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Joke. -- James., Fri, 30 Mar 2012, 2:58:19 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
___________________________________________________________
A Newfie had two red ears, and so went to the doctor.
The doctor asked the Newfie what happened to the ears?
'Well, I was ironing me shirt and the phone rang . . . and instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up me iron and . . .stuck it to me ear.'
"Oh Dear!" The doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But . . . that doesn't explain the other red ear. What happened to your other ear?"
'Lord tunderin' Jesus, the son-of-a-bitch called back.'
___________________________________________________________
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Joke -- Jo Pete, Thu, 29 Mar 2012, 17:07:21 (wblv-ip-pcache-8-vif1.telkom-ipnet.co.za/198.54.202.250)
Yo BT. A blonde takes a snappy little black number to the laundry. As she leaves the shop assisstant says "Come again."
the blonde replies"No toothpaste you nosey bitch."
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. -- ray, Thu, 29 Mar 2012, 15:23:02 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
1.One lucky season ticketholder will win a free make-over during half time of each match.
2 Fans will no longer be allowed to braai before kick-off, instead fondue stations will be available for snacks.
3 The beer stations will no longer sell beer, but a variety of fruity drinks will be available.
4 The dancing gills will be replaced by a French Poodle Parade.
5 The man of the match will not receive a trophy, but rather a subscription to House and Home magazine.
6 The yellow card area will will not be referred to as the sin bin, but will from now on be known as the temper tantrum tank.
7 The stadium will change from the Bull ring to the Fairy Garden
8 Liefling will still be the unofficial song...
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. -- Ray, Thu, 29 Mar 2012, 6:43:05 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Right now I have the Fashion police on the line,they are emergency beeping Joan Rivers!!
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. -- Ray, Thu, 29 Mar 2012, 0:39:18 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Holy Cow,
somebody made rugby jerseys for the BLUE Bulls, supposedly the color of Jacarandas.
The jerseys turned out pink!
So the Bulletjies will look PRETTY IN PINK on saturday.
Aoooorrghhhh!!
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HANK'LL FIX IT... -- James, Wed, 28 Mar 2012, 19:35:15 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
__________________________________________________________
RAY: Sounds dreadful. I think I will wait for Hank to try
it out first! He's probably capable of ass-essing it.
__________________________________________________________
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. -- Ray, Tue, 27 Mar 2012, 23:21:00 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
James get a Rape-ex remover, a rubber dildo type thing, you stick it in and yank the thing out.
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Got it... -- James, Mon, 26 Mar 2012, 22:42:55 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
_________________________________________________________
Thanks Ray - got it. You are a fund of knowledge! The word (Dopper) makes perfect sense now.
Boy, that Rape gadget sounds deadly! But how are we males supposed to protect ourselves?
_________________________________________________________
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BT -- Jay, Sun, 25 Mar 2012, 11:16:37 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
357 magnum is one of the better anti rape device's.
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. -- R, Sun, 25 Mar 2012, 8:28:34 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
She better remember to remove it before hubby comes home.
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. -- Ray, Sun, 25 Mar 2012, 8:24:45 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
James the Afrikaans word for baptize is doop, its got a difficult vowel sound to explain but you come close if you say do-up. I think it is from this word that the name Dopper is derived, it easier to say than dooper. Doppers I think go for full immersion, not just a wet finger on the forehead like more conventional churches.
Rape-aXe, "Dont Leave Home Without It"
An anti-rape female condom using a different design was invented by Sonnet Ehlers, a South African woman. Ehlers was motivated to create it while working as a blood technician with the South African Blood Transfusion Service, during which time she met many rape victims. Ehler mentioned that she was inspired to create RAPEX (later renamed to Rape-aXe) when a patient who had been raped stated, "If only I had teeth down there,"[3] suggesting the myth of the vagina dentata. Initially called RapeX, the name was changed in 2006 upon discovering that RAPEX is also an EU warning system against dangerous goods on the market.
The Rape-aXe is a latex sheath embedded with shafts of sharp, inward-facing barbs that would be worn by a woman in her vagina like a female condom. If an attacker were to attempt vaginal rape, his penis would enter the latex sheath and be snagged by the barbs, causing the attacker excruciating pain during withdrawal and giving the victim time to escape. The condom would remain attached to the attacker's body when he withdrew and could only be removed surgically,[4] which would alert hospital staff and police. Like most condoms, Rape-aXe also usually prevents pregnancy and the transmission of HIV and sexually transmitted Infections.
Rape-aXe was unveiled on August 31, 2005 in South Africa. Although media coverage at the time implied that mass production was due to begin in April 2007,[5] the device has never been marketed to the public and it remains unclear whether the product will ever be available for purchase.
Criticism
Critics have objected to Ehlers' invention as "vengeful, horrible, and disgusting" and oppose its planned sale in drugstores.[6][7]
It is like we are going back to the days where women were forced to wear chastity belts. It is a terrifying thought that women are being made to adapt to rape by wearing these devices ... Women would have to wear this every minute of their lives on the off-chance that they would be raped.
—Lisa Vetten (Centre for the Study of Violence and Reconciliation, South Africa)
This is a medieval instrument, based on male-hating notions and fundamentally misunderstands the nature of rape and violence against women in this society.
—Charlene Smith[7]
Ehler responded to criticism in the FAQ section of her website: "As with everything in life there will be negative attitudes and I can't be responsible for people who refuse to educate men and feel the device is medieval," and responds by calling the Rape-aXe "a medieval device for a medieval deed."
Other critics fear that use of the device could possibly enrage an attacker and further jeopardize the victim.[8] Ehlers responded: "Sadly, many women have been killed over time, as nobody can guarantee the outcome of any rape. However, the huge plus-factor is that the discomfort and pain is such that the rapist would be disabled temporarily, giving you time to get away and get help."
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Mt pa was 'n Dopper... -- James, Sun, 25 Mar 2012, 3:42:24 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
______________________________________________________
RAY: Came across a piece of Boeremusiek called 'My pa was 'n Dopper'. I know what a Dopper is, but wondered if you knew how they came to be known as Doppers.
________________________________________________________
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. -- ray, Fri, 23 Mar 2012, 6:04:48 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
he he
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Ray -- jay (Try This for size), Fri, 23 Mar 2012, 0:34:50 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.
I have kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.
A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory.
I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.
I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.
KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names.
I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
In Memoriam
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in.
And then the trouble started.
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
I am having an out-of-money experience.
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
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. -- Ray, Thu, 22 Mar 2012, 15:18:44 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Well the Jay maybe this one is more adult? You may have to think about it a while...
Girl 1: Oh I am doomed! That's my husband coming with my lover!
Girl 2: Oh no, the same thing is happening to me.
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Tim Horgan -Kariba & Hunting Lodge -- Tim Horgan, Thu, 22 Mar 2012, 12:29:01 (NoHost/94.116.111.137)
Hi All,
Just catching up with posts here and noted a few comments- thanks Libra for the kind words!
I am based in London but still work outside the UK from time to time.
Would be delighted to meet anyone coming through London. (Next week I will be in Paris (Tues- Thurs).
email:
timhorgan@usa.net
mobile
0786 788 7243
Would love to hear from you.
Kindest regards,
Tim
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Bob -- Jay, Thu, 22 Mar 2012, 1:37:26 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
Apologies Bob for having a shot at you this time, when in fact Ray's I.S.P. is tagged for that incredibly weak joke.
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Bob -- Jay, Thu, 22 Mar 2012, 1:29:14 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
Very weak joke, bordering on infantile, but have to say it is an improvement on old news and the rest of the crap you blog on.
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. -- ., Wed, 21 Mar 2012, 7:05:47 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
The Hunting Accident. A fellow was hunting when a gust of wind blew the gun over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.
"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to remove all of the buckshot."
"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."
"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"
"Not exactly," answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."
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Mugarbage -- Jay, Tue, 20 Mar 2012, 1:40:49 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
As long as Bob and troop have Chinese backing, they are as safe as houses.
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WELCOME TO MUGABE RUINS -- BARRY (OF REAL INTEREST TO RHODIES), Mon, 19 Mar 2012, 23:40:28 (d58-106-161-153.sbr800.nsw.optusnet.com.au/58.106.161.153)
Loath thou I am to be labled a REPOSTER this should be of interest to real Rhodesians
1) Will Mugabe's party be torn apart by Wikileaks
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-15446108
2)Audio slideshow: Zimbabwe at 30
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/8623385.stm
3 BBC ZIMBABWE REPORT
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-17437324
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. -- Bob, Mon, 19 Mar 2012, 15:17:30 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Rhinos will be wiped out from South Africa's wildlife parks by 2015 if poaching continues at its current rate, a campaigner fighting to save the beasts has warned.
And corruption among officials is contributing to the ongoing slaughter, said veterinary nurse Karen Trendler.
In a career spanning almost two decades, 50-year-old Trendler has raised 200 baby rhino orphans at a wildlife sanctuary in Pretoria, earning the nickname "Mama Rhino."
She is planning to open a special treatment centre for them, warning that the situation has become critical.
Poachers nabbed 448 rhinos last year, and in the first three months of this year the toll stood at 109 -- in other words, a kill-rate of more than one a day.
While the poachers target the adult rhinos for their horns, baby rhinos often die too, unable to survive alone.
The sharp increase in poaching has raised concerns among experts that the animals could disappear from the wild within the next four years, Trendler said.
"You hate to sound alarmist, you hate to even consider that it could happen. But if the poaching continues at the current rate we could eventually see rhino go extinct.
"There are predictions that by 2015 we could have no rhino."
The problem has been exacerbated by the fact that some people working in wildlife conservation and animal welfare have been implicated in the lucrative poaching industry, Trendler said.
"There are some incredibly good guys in the business who are doing amazing things and who would give their lives for those rhino.
"But unfortunately we do have an element of corruption. There have already been prosecutions and arrests, where government officials are complicit."
The booming market for rhino horn and increasingly sophisticated poaching methods help explain the devastating death-rate, Trendler said.
"There is a growing economy in Asia, so there is more disposable income to pay for Chinese traditional medicine.
"There is easier accessibility, poachers have better technology, so using cell phones and GPS they can move the horn that much quicker through the process.
"On top of that there's the sinister part of it where it's actually being stockpiled against extinction.
"So they just take up as much as they can get and it's held in stockpile for the time when the numbers drop and the value of the horn goes up," Trendler said.
Some private owners are even pushing to have the trade in rhino horns legalised, arguing that prohibition has done nothing to stop poaching, something that Trendler vehemently opposes.
She is busy building a rhino orphanage at a golf and leisure resort near Mokopane in Limpopo, in the north of the country.
Presented as South Africa's first non-commercial and non-tourist rhino orphanage, it will have an intensive care unit with incubators, drips and surveillance cameras.
A small team of carers will look after the baby rhinos, and human contact will be kept to a minimum because the aim is to release them back into the wild.
Once they are strong enough to leave the unit, they will be introduced to their "surrogate parents," a pair of adult rhinos who live in the resort's game park, Trendler said.
"We've had phenomenal success in the past with rhino who are naturally very nurturing or who have a lovely nature who'll take on calves and become a friend or a companion," she said. "Given the characteristics of the two rhino that are here, we believe they are probably going to form bonds with the calves."
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. -- Ray, Mon, 19 Mar 2012, 14:59:45 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Terry is has been noticed,Pretoria and JHB too that extensive landscaping and tree plantings has caused bushveld species that never occured there before to move in, the Grey Lourie or Kwêvoël being the prime example. Believe it or not, its call is also available as a ringtone, as is also the loud and descending trill of the Woodland Kingfsher.
See
graham-wildguides.blogspot.com/2007/08/birdlife-ringtones.html
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TWITCHERS -- TerryK, Sun, 18 Mar 2012, 5:17:48 (NoHost/84.255.156.31)
Jenz, Ray - interesting tweets (pun).
It is my understanding that the southern limit of hadedahs back in the 50/60's was in the Eastern Cape around about Grahamstown. Since then they have "migrated" further south with apparently one big leap associated with a feeding crisis (fire / drought)perhaps in the 70's. A pair were nesting just outside Forries when I was there earlier this year.
Currently building a new sugar refinery on reclaimed land in the north east of Bahrain near Manama. Still a bit of a desert with only a scattering of seagulls, cormorants and the odd dove. However Bahrain lies on one of the eastern migration routes out of Africa and subject to time of year and weather (wind out of Saudi) quite a number of bird species take arest while passing through. Fantastic tracking project featured on migrating Ospreys on BBC Autumn Watch last year.
By the way, as an ex Ikey and Rondebosch / Newlands dweller I am naturally a Stormers man. However have enjoyed the odd success but more numerous disappointments at Loftus !!!
Regards to all,
TerryK
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Hoe gaan dit met die Vos Inn, Hank? -- James., Sun, 18 Mar 2012, 1:05:05 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
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Aha! Scripshit is Hank the Wanker; I might have guessed.
Yo Hank, hoe gaan dit met die Vos Inn in Bozeman, Montana?
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. -- Ray, Sat, 17 Mar 2012, 18:30:58 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Hiiiii Jenz!
Stormers are getting a little uppity I see lately.
Well the Blue Bulls willput the in their place, just a pity they took a nap when the Blues were playing.
Yes I love those flying ant emergences, I have seen as much as a dozen species of birds coming for the party.
When I was a kid Hadedah's were shot on sight. This has stopped and the Haar Haar's have been able to reclaim their old haunts. Their call is available as a ringtone and makes a good ringtone, by the way, the only problem is when there are lots of real Hadedahs around.
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Bob's -- Domaine, Sat, 17 Mar 2012, 11:43:37 (www8.flk1.host-h.net/188.40.0.67)
IP address: 115.70.220.2
Location of this IP address: Sydney in New South Wales
!!Surrey Hills
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Swallows and martins -- Jenz, Sat, 17 Mar 2012, 11:10:18 (41-133-106-247.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.133.106.247)
Hello Ray, and again to TerryK
Thought you might like to know what a treat I had a couple mornings ago... about 30-odd swallows and martins swooping down over a neighbour's lawn, after ? flying ants.The spectacle went on for over half an hour.
TerryK. Amazed to hear about the hadedas in Newlands. They seem now to be a lot more of a common sight than when I first moved to CT about 10 yrs back. We often have a noisy flypast here in Goodwood.
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R60, Terry K and Jo Pete -- Jenz, Sat, 17 Mar 2012, 11:04:11 (41-133-106-247.dsl.mweb.co.za/41.133.106.247)
The R 60 was certainly not a quick bike... but the speed of that mass ride was forcibly kept to around 40kph, and both the bike and I had objections to that!.... I think we must have had half the Sby bike cops out to "control" us all! haha how scared they were that we would rip up the town!
TerryK... it could well have been Steve McQueen... it is hurting my head trying to remember so long ago! LOL
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. -- Ray, Sat, 17 Mar 2012, 6:08:31 (NoHost/64.134.65.62)
Scripsi is Hank, James.
Dont you know the rodents are starting to come out of their holes at this time of year?
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Bob's -- site, Sat, 17 Mar 2012, 5:26:51 (www8.flk1.host-h.net/188.40.0.67)
2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2
Site is untraceable.
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. -- Ray, Sat, 17 Mar 2012, 5:26:18 (NoHost/64.134.65.62)
Baie goed, James jy is meesal reg. Jou naam is Afrikaans is Jamie uitgespreek Yaa- mi soos in Jamie Uys.
Jy woon nou in die noordelike halfrondte, en ja dis reg hulle kan gaan kak in die mielies. En as jy sulke goed kan se, dan is jy defnitief 'n Ereboer. En se vir hulle jy het nie 'n kort Skotserokkie nodig nie, die een tot jou kniee is voldoende.
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Ja, ek woon NOU in die noorderbreedte,,, -- James, Fri, 16 Mar 2012, 20:05:37 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
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Jay: Ja, ek woon NOU in die noorderbreedte, maar ek is
'n ere-Boer,so gann kaak in die milies!
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James -- Jay, Fri, 16 Mar 2012, 16:14:53 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
James you are not from the Southern Hemisphere, Summarizing you are not 1.9M + and well hung, Hank must laugh at your pathetic jealousy, it is not our problem that they do not manufacture Kilts that short.
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Are you sure that... -- James, Fri, 16 Mar 2012, 3:44:57 (CPE687f74dfc59e-CM00252e2694a6.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com/174.119.162.111)
Yo Scripsie... Lapdog James hier. Was ist dann los?
What's all the whining about? Are you quite sure you are not related to weasely little Hank the Wanker?
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Ray -- Jay, Fri, 16 Mar 2012, 2:17:58 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
Ray in all fairness Bob is no benchmark to gauge anything by, even semi literate computer users are aware if you are seeking information Google it. The point being it is his intention to destroy this site with spam, fact being hardly anybody posts because they have been driven away by a clown with a seriously warped sense of humor to put it politely.
I do not agree posting crap on this site for the sake of filling empty spaces to keep it alive, it is the sort of behavior one can expect from a Mugarbage supporter.
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Misfits -- scripsi, Thu, 15 Mar 2012, 22:50:42 (mail125.anonymouse.org/193.200.150.125)
This site was abandoned by 99% of its members
because of the misfit, self-aggrandizer so-called
Yahoo Ray, also tagged as Doc Hollywood, and his
adoring lapdog James.
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. -- Ray, Thu, 15 Mar 2012, 15:03:42 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
Jay, in the late 90's we had much worse than Bob on the BT, pages of invective posted regularly by all kinds of misfits.
Compared to that Bob is relatively benign.
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Ray -- Jay, Thu, 15 Mar 2012, 1:55:30 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
It appears the forum administrator has abandoned this site due to lack of interest, cannot say I blame him / her. It would be better to shut this site down, than to let some outsider humiliate Southern Africans on their own site.
Ray I do not share your opinion with regards to letting Bob insult our intelligence for the sake of filling spaces, I would say I am talking on behalf of the overwhelming majority.
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. -- ray, Wed, 14 Mar 2012, 17:42:07 (NoHost/69.199.125.229)
OK Jay it is something that has to be tolerated on all open unmoderated sites, some pin brain power hungry moderator would be much worse than Bob.
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Ray -- Jay, Wed, 14 Mar 2012, 0:09:09 (CPE-120-146-228-47.static.wa.bigpond.net.au/120.146.228.47)
This site is dead as a result of arse wipe Bob. Who wants to contribute to a spammers forum?
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Secret SAS squadron sent to spy in Africa -- SMH, Tue, 13 Mar 2012, 4:43:51 (2.220.70.115.static.exetel.com.au/115.70.220.2)
A secret squadron of Australian SAS soldiers has been operating at large in Africa, performing work normally done by spies, in an unannounced and possibly dangerous expansion of Australia's foreign military engagement.
The deployment of the SAS's 4 Squadron - the existence of which has never been publicly confirmed - has put the special forces unit at the outer reaches of Australian and international law.
The Age has confirmed that troopers from the squadron have mounted dozens of secret operations over the past year in African nations including Zimbabwe, Nigeria and Kenya.
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/secret-sas-squadron-sent-to-spy-in-africa-20120312-1uwjs.html
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