Re: Motherhood ambivalence? -- It's Debateable

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Subject: Re: Motherhood ambivalence?

Author:
Scipio

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Date Posted: 20:47:11 07/08/02 Mon
In reply to: Siannach 's message, "Re: Motherhood ambivalence?" on 14:59:06 07/08/02 Mon

But do you think the problem is more the people who DO have unrealistic, rosy expectations, and then feel unfulfilled or selfish from time to time and have trouble handling that? That's what I got out of the short article I read; that people's expectations sometimes are off kilter.

It doesn't sound like you expected motherhood to be all hearts and flowers, and I think what you feel is normal. Sometimes I think, "I just want to sit and do this for *myself* because I have spent the past 6 years meeting the needs of children, and dammit, I deserve to be selfish sometimes!" I think that's normal. I think it would be a problem if I beat myself up over it and I think it could be a problem if I expected I would never feel this way. KWIM?

It's almost as if these books are saying, "hey, I was promised hearts and flowers and that's not what I'm getting." [feet stomping]

I don't know = I just gave that article a quick read and I haven't read the other links Jen provided so maybe I have no clue. ;=) (also typing in the dark so can't quite get some keystrokes right, LOL)

>I understand everything you've said, but I think that
>its perfectly fine for books to be out there to say a
>person isn't a bad mother because they feel
>unfulfilled or selfish from time to time

But for
>now, I can't help feeling a bit unfulfilled. You
>know? I don't think that makes me seriously deranged
>:-).
>
>>I think people who are "unfulfilled" by motherhood
>>have seriously deranged expectations

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Motherhood ambivalence?	Jen	17:04:28 07/09/02 Tue
Re: Motherhood ambivalence? -- Siannach, 11:56:27 07/10/02 Wed