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Date Posted: 01:33:42 05/28/03 Wed
Author: SYNTARSUS
Subject: Re: Help! I need motivation!
In reply to: Rev Joe 's message, "Re: Help! I need motivation!" on 22:19:14 05/27/03 Tue

Actually, my family isn't all that bad. If I've given you the wrong impression, I hope you'll not take it to far. People tend to get a certain biased picture in their minds based on a tiny amount of information and their imagination tends to run wild with all sorts of ridiculous notions! Don't be like that!

True, they're not very motivated when it comes to home-life, but they DO work hard all day. I have to give them credit for that. Plus, they are generally nice to my friends & my mum will offer to take them many places . . . although sometimes I wish she wouldn't offer, because traveling wears me out & can make me very cranky & irritable!

I just wish they'd spend more time teaching my brother. I wish that they'd go to church with me, too. But mostly, I'm just afraid of what my brother is going to grow up to be. I'm the one who has to teach him about the Bible because my parents won't take him to church or read/ study with him. They're good workers, but I wish they'd be more 'parent-like'. You know what I mean? Such as: sharing the traditions, instilling moral values, showing them the wonders of life (and all of that).

I did get off the computer and I did some of my chores around the house: cleaned the kitchen stove, counters, and sink; did some laundry & 2 loads of dishes; and I made supper. I'm tired, but it's good to feel that I've accmplished some of the things on my loooong list. However, I still can't bring myself to study my ACT!!!!

I guess I'm afraid of failing because I want to get a scholarship, but I'd have to get a high enough score in order to do so. I've tested myself using the ACT practice book quite a few days ago and my scores looked pretty dim. I couldn't even complete answering all the questions in the amount of time allowed to finish it!!!!

I think that I am also afraid of succeeding, because the ACT gets me to thinking that if college is going to be THIS difficult and confusing, how will I ever succeed in the long run when (or rather 'if') I actually get accepted? I also don't know WHY I've chose my major to be a writer (I wrote this on my application & finacial aid forms). Ehat I mean by this is: 'What is the PURPOSE of being a writer (of stories)????' I feel as if I need to find this out, first. I'm also an artist, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to do both. I wonder if I made a mistake by saying that I wanted to be a writer . . .

What am I going to do?

- SYNTARSUS

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