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Date Posted: 15:21:54 11/17/02 Sun
Author: morgain
Author Host/IP: modemcable106.54-130-66.mtl.mc.videotron.ca / 66.130.54.106
Subject: General Review & Discussion: SlayereyalS by Mediancat
In reply to: KatLurkin 's message, "General Review & Discussion: SlayereyalS by Mediancat" on 18:07:38 11/12/02 Tue

Well, I think the best example of my overall reaction to the story was that I spent 15 minutes trying to pronounce the title. It was only later that I realized that the title was supposed to be a hint as to the thrust of the story. And it is here that I think the story has its best potential, but its greatest weakness. It was an interesting device that the author tried to use: the evil universe a la Star Trek:TOS with counterparts who are as cruel and violent as “our universe” ones are admirable and courageous. But there was no build-up, and little story, atmosphere, and context construction. And it played out the story too closely to the original one in Star Trek [it even made reference to certain elements like Spock]. I also got quite confused as to who was Buffy1 and who was Buffy2 in the fight scene; more descriptive labels would have been clearer, or different names like Buff, Xan, and Will. Overall, I found myself just skimming the story and not fully engaged in it. Even the ending was not enough to really salvage the story.


From the beginning I was put off. The cold, cruel portrayals of Buffy, Riley, and Willow, even though understandable later, caused me to question the writing, rather than be intrigued by the plot twist. Maybe if the initial scenes were reversed, I could have been hooked, then disconcerted with the repetition of the scene but with the darker twist. I am not a fan of Riley, but this portrayal of the character was offensive in the comments about his intelligence. And for Buffy to suddenly come to the brilliant insight of “alternate Universe” after 1 tiny interaction with Spike was unbelievable to me. Now maybe this foundation was laid in previous stories, but if this was to be a “stand alone” it should have at least a cursory build-up. This reversal theme would have been a wonder opportunity to explore the “darker” nature of the slayer or of power or of souls and their influence or not on behaviour, but unfortunately the writer seemed to lapse into superficial stereotypes. A deeper, more subtle aspect of cruelty might have been more interesting, more along the lines of The Wish, when natural character weakness were amplified. The only interesting characterization I found was the brief appearance of Dru. I would have liked to hear more from her.

There were also problems with the sentence construction, grammar, and some typos. In general, I think this story needs some serious editing and focusing, and would not recommend it until then.

I give it a 69.

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[> Re: General Review & Discussion: SlayereyalS by Mediancat -- KatLurkin, 23:49:13 11/17/02 Sun (pcp02303222pcs.manass01.va.comcast.net/68.52.163.61)

I would say the story has a lot of potential. pieces of the story are great and the idea of evil alternative universe actually kept my attention more then I expectted it to. But the execution is choppy, it feels more like a draft copy then the final project, this work could benifit with some editing and smoothing rough edges, but I think the story would be worth the effort.
71


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