Author:
Free Spirit & New Spirit
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Date Posted: 11:54:13 08/07/06 Mon
In reply to:
Heather
's message, "Re: It Ends when you let Go..." on 11:20:31 08/07/06 Mon
Boy I sure remember those manipulations. They still happen at least once per month. My ex only lives about 5 minutes from my place, so I get the 'druken; sometimes druggin' phone call. I just quit trying to 'argue' with him. Sometimes they syrup drips from his mouth he is so nice. but underneath, the bomb is ticking. And sometimes the fury is REALLY BAD. I keep it brief, and keep my cool. He says the most vile things about me. Those dont bother me anymore. Sad but true. Being called a whor* and a slut doesnt even faze me anymore. (used to cut me to the bone). I just tell him ugh huh, your right, now I have to go.. because they are *seeking* a reaction from you. When mine realized that didnt work, he resorted to lower measures. He knew what would hurt. Then it *Laci* is not his child. "he will always love her, but I am a slut, so she cant be his" --nver mind i NEVER cheated or even thought about it during our 5 year relationship. -- But they KNOW what is personal to you. That one used to really ruffle my feathers. Boy I would be worked up when I got off the phone. Then I realized, hey you know what, I am just gonna let it roll, I KNOW she is his, and that's all that matters.
I see him now every other weekend for his visitation. Dont even get me going on that :) and his child support. HA! For me that's a laugh. But for the last 6 months he has maintained a job, a home, pays the lights, buys food, etc.. he is thinner, but not gross. he doesnt have sores, he isnt dirty. The average person would think he is just a country guy. I see the Age, the drug has done to him. He's only 35, and looks 45. His family is *so proud* I am the ONLY ONE who really knows, or shall we say doesnt live in denial. But REALIZE AND KNOW THIS... True Recovery... You dont have to ask. You know. It doesnt last a week, and they seem changed, and the following week, flip a wig, or something insignificant. Of course good/bad days. That's why I say diffrence. Mine can abstain, when necessary. He passes a drug test every week. (they always test on Tuesday). But I still know.
Reminder: Bomb is still ticking away. Underneath, the other lays low... waiting... you may not see it... but its their. A good friend told me the following:
If he hasn't had any recovery ... he is a time bomb just waiting to go off. Dr. Jeckel can be seductively charming, witty and down right fun ... The third wheel is Mr. Hyde .. and though you didn't not see a trace of him that day ... You can bank on the fact that he WAS there ... and will continue to be there unless he is served his eviction notice by your ex via recovery. Until then he waits quietly in the shaddows looking for oppertunities to come out and do his evil .. You don't want to be there when that happens ... and Believe me, it will happen - eventually.
(Thanks Passion)--
Even I have to keep myself in check from time to time. We are human. But more to come on the Court thing! Wow that was fun!
get back with you soon...
me and Laci
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