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Subject: I feel so down


Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 11:00:13 08/18/06 Fri
 I have got major issues cause I cannot seem to let go still. HE can't let go either. or won't. Reality is - he is clean off of meth but stil partying. Says he wil not let me go. He wants me back. Says he is not financially stable yet so he wouldn't be able to come home right now but wants to start seeing me. What am I part time goods? I stood my ground and continue to stand my ground. The drinking and partying is not what I want in my life. If he wants to be with me and the kids, he needs to make some major decisions. Plus he needs counseling or better than that God. HE needs to go to church. He needs to be a real man.
I told him to move on and just let go because we obviously want different things. He doesn't seem to respect my wishes. The hearing is in 4 weeks and I am so sad about that but I am also sad about the divorce part, the whole end of the marriage. It's not what I wanted but it is still happening and he is still acting a fool. He sends me text messages saying I am the only one for him and that he loves me and misses me. The only thing that has changed is that he is working again and his words are nicer. No actions towards me have changed meaning I dont see him working hard to get his family back. He is on leisure time or something. I really wish he would go away or that I could let go somehow. I had to see my dr and be put on depression meds again. I haven't started them cause I keep trying to do it on my own, but I feel like I fell just because he says these oh so wonderful things. He really doesn't know what he is letting go of. How much love me and the kids have for him.
I ask him so many times to please just leave me alone and move on with his life. He doesn't stop. I feel if he meant everything he said - he would stop the partying and become a dad and husband with no excuses and nothing to stop him and he wouldn't look back. He enjoys his life but wants me to be there when he does decide to settle down. I am going through with the divorce and I am letting go of any thought of reconciling with him ever. As much as that hurts and I don't know why it still does, I have to do it. At this point I don't feel like I will ever love anyone again and no one will love me either. That can't be true, but its been a feeling that I cannot let go of.
Any advice??
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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Re: I feel so downSUSAN17:50:20 08/18/06 Fri
Re: I feel so downDebbie S18:13:46 08/18/06 Fri
Re: I feel so downHulalea00:38:08 08/19/06 Sat
Re: I feel so downShari08:02:01 08/19/06 Sat
Re: I feel so downKelly223:53:29 08/22/06 Tue
Re: I feel so downPLEASEHELP17:14:37 08/27/06 Sun

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