For general purposes only - no specific reason - I think you should go outside and kick yourself in the ass all the way around the block! Well you might as well do it now (kick yourself in the ass) because years from now thats exactly what you will be doing as you WONDER would it have been different if I had the guts to take a chance!! For the moment try and put the lust on the back burner and..... -- THE VENT BOARD

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Subject: For general purposes only - no specific reason - I think you should go outside and kick yourself in the ass all the way around the block! Well you might as well do it now (kick yourself in the ass) because years from now thats exactly what you will be doing as you WONDER would it have been different if I had the guts to take a chance!! For the moment try and put the lust on the back burner and.....

Author:
<:) duck/ed

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Date Posted: Tuesday, April 29 2003, 12:47:50 GMT ( - 8 )
In reply to: James 's message, "Hey" on Tuesday, April 29 2003, 11:12:22 GMT ( - 8 )

see what you can do about establishing a friendship with this young man. Get to know him and see if you truly do have things in common - find out if you can spend an evening in or go out and enjoy each others company -

You had the perfect opportunity when he returned your coat -

You were playing cards somewhere and he was there - yet it was he who took the time and made an effort to return your coat - that should tell you someting! SCHMUCK!! (not trying to make you feel bad by calling you names - just motivate you!!) WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T YOU INVITE HIM IN FOR A ..(what do you call it over there??) CUPPA ????

Sounds to me like he is proabably as nervous about the whole thing as you - One of you is going to have to break the ice.

At the moment James you are infatuated with this guy, you are definitely attracted to him and lust is showing - Your not in Love with him yet because you don't know him well enough nor have you spend any real time with him - from the sounds of things though that is a definite possibility. Well guess what guy, your no different then the rest of us and when two people get emotionally involved they become vulnerable - with Love comes trust and hence vulnerability and yes you may be hurt or this guy might be the guy you end up spending the rest of your life with -

If your unwilling to take a chance YOU WILL NEVER KNOW - and that is not going to change next year - or in your 20's or 30's - in order to find that person your going to have to take chances and perhaps it won't work out and you may be hurt but if you are so fearful of that potential pain, or go into it expecting rejection then just avoid all the emotional entanglements and accept the fact that you are going to be a very lonely individual -- oh bye the way thats a pretty painful way to live too - therefore if you look at it like that what have you got to loose?

The next time you see him and can talk to him alone - invite him out to a movie or whatever - if he agrees great and if he brushes you off - well at least you know - and you move on - if he accepts you don't have to hide the fact that your nervous - can even tell him it might break the ice as he admits the same - play it by ear and BE YOU

Hope it works out and hope you don't end up kicking yourself in the ass 10 years from now wondering if it would have been different if you had the balls to SEE IF THAT CLICK WAS THERE!!

One more thing James -

There is not another individual anywhere on this planet that you can
FORCE to Love you - NOT ONE!

Conversely there is not another individual on earth that can
FORCE you to Love them - NOT ONE

BECAUSE LOVE - REAL LOVE - IS MAGICAL, MYSTICAL and SPIRITUAL

and

IT HAPPENS WHEN IT HAPPENS!!

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Replies:

[> [> Subject: how did you get to be so right? :p

Author:
James
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Date Posted: Tuesday, April 29 2003, 14:52:33 GMT ( - 8 )

ok i'm working on stuff...a film sounds good..it's just...

maybe we should have a bit of (month old) history here...the first time I introduced myself to him, I actually stutterred - stutterred! I literally had what I was going to say to him in my head, but the moment I saw him when he opened his door and we made eye contact, it just all went. I was just standing there, and he was like "hello?" - I just couldn't speak. Then a time after that I ran into him and found myself holding my breath - it's pretty hard to invite someone to a film in a single breath! But he doesn't seem to be especially ignoring me - we were making quite a lot of eye contact the other night. I think he realises I'm interested in him. He's sooooooooo cute!

I really appreciate your advice - it's pretty hard here, cos I'm only sorta kinda out to a couple (ie. 2) of friends - and I think they thought it was a joke...also, they're mutual friends of Russell (His name!) so basically I don't have anyone to talk to about this - it's harder to get up the courage to ask someone out without people supporting you... and it might kind of come as a shock to some people. I guess I don't want to make myself a laughing stock, but hey you gotta stake some to win some as you might say over there!

But i think you just tipped the balance - I'm definitely going to give it a try and ask him out - like you say, otherwise I'll never know. And what's he got to lose, anyway? OK, I'm psyching myself up now...I'll see when I see him next, but otherwise, maybe ask him this weekend... ooooooooo.....I'm excited now...

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[> [> [> Subject: Answer to that question - BEEN THERE DONE THAT! about asking him out,,,

Author:
<:) frazzled pink duck
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Date Posted: Tuesday, April 29 2003, 19:24:25 GMT ( - 8 )

stop dwelling on it - stop thinking about it - stop psyching yourself up over it

JUST FUCKING DO IT

From the sounds of it you have already sent him sufficient signals as to your infatuation - so you've probably given yourself away just a bit - so

either he knows your very interested and is wondering why you never say anything

or

he things your very strange and perhaps a blithering idiot

geez now you tell me that the only guys you are out too are also his mutual friends - you don't think they've told him -
get over yourself guaranteed they have -

You may think you are only out to 2 friends but from the way you been acting every time Russel is about - won't be long til the entire campus knows!

If not a movie then the next time you see him just ask him if he would like to go to ----- for a cup of that stuff you call tea or for a what do you call it a pint at the local pub whatever - or leave your jacket where he is apt to find it again (boy did you blow that one bigtime - perfect opportunity to invite him in for a cup of tea and me (meaning you)

GOOD LUCK JAMES

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[> [> [> [> Subject: I can't believe he hasn't noticed your awkwardness.

Author:
Trevor/TJ
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Date Posted: Wednesday, April 30 2003, 22:14:00 GMT ( - 8 )

And yet, he played cards with you, asked you over to get your coat (not dropped it by your room) so he isn't avoiding you. And with all those glances etc it really sounds like he is "receptive" to you making the first move. Just my uninformed opinion, but like duck said, doing something doesn't necessarily have to be "a date" - but will give you a chance to get to know him better and vice versa. Maybe he'll even "not avoid you even more" if you know what I mean! If it turns out he isn't your perfect soulmate, it might still be great to have a new friend you can be yourself around, maybe do some group things with, etc. Good luck.

Quack - Hi Ed - haven't been here in ages! Politics scares me off, but plenty there to legitimately whine about these days!

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