O dear......................................... -- THE VENT BOARD

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Subject: O dear.........................................
Author: ien	[ Next Thread \| Previous Thread \| Next Message \| Previous Message ] Date Posted: Sunday, May 18 2003, 17:59:49 GMT ( - 8 ) Just that, oh dear..................... [ Next Thread \| Previous Thread \| Next Message \| Previous Message ]

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[> Subject: Well I know your Dutch, yet there is something about that statement which seems sooooo English - not American English I mean British English - as in reserved and aloof - Strange that two simple words and I pictured an English Lady walking into a situation (one of her teenage offspring engaged with members of both sexes in a huge orgy ) and the only crack in her gentrified facade is the slight wavering in her voice as she says "Oh dear,..."

Author:
<:) duck/ed
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Date Posted: Monday, May 19 2003, 12:44:43 GMT ( - 8 )

I have no idea why that picture came to mind - some reason I just picture an English Lady uttering those two words when a crisis is thrust upon her - course it's not a very good example because that situation would be a crisis for the English mother whereas I would expect the Dutch one to shrug her shoulders and discretely remove herself while smiling as she thought back to her own youthful flings.

I have to concede this is beyond the typical imagination even for a duck - but I never denied any of my neurosis and have come to accept and enjoy my insanity - so what the hell

Oh hope it's nothing tooo serious

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[> [> Subject: you have a very warped imagination...i like!

Author:
James
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Date Posted: Monday, May 19 2003, 15:56:49 GMT ( - 8 )

I hope things aren't too bad either, ien.

ps I have made contact with RUssel... but my crush ended as abruptly as it began (about 6/7 months ago). I was walking down some stairs, and he was walking up..he tripped up, got back up and sort of smiled in an embarrassed way..something in my head just clicked, and that was it - end of crush!

I can't describe it - I'm still really attracted to him, but suddenly I feel a lot more self-confident... some of us (plus him) went for a meal the other night, and I didn't make any eye contact. I was able to avoid him completely (part of my plan - I finally feel like I might be getting to grips with his personality - I think he craves attention) and not speak to him at all...the risk paid off - he hung back when we were walking back and walked next to me - waiting for me to say something. So I got chatting, and it was cool.

Y'know, I think a crush actually puts a block between you and who you are attracted to - it's self-defeating. SUddenly it's been taken away, and I can talk to him perfectly normally, and flirt with him as much as I want and not feel nauseous with anxiety or tension. It's cool!

pps sorry to have hijacked your post ien, but then this is a vent board!

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[> [> [> Subject: Cool - thanks for the update!
Author: Trevor/TJ [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: Monday, May 19 2003, 23:22:50 GMT ( - 8 ) [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Thats kewl James - crushes can be overwhelming and often turn out to not reflect what one is truly feeling - sounds like now

Author:
<:) frazzled pink duck
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Date Posted: Tuesday, May 20 2003, 0:03:10 GMT ( - 8 )

you have a chance to find out what potential exists between you two - it may be just lust (hopefully mutual) it may be just friendship or friendship and lust or perhaps there is something truly special - and Love will blossom -

At least now it seems that you will be able to find out with your own self-esteem and confidence at an approrpiate level.

But don't get to involved in the games James. When you do things or start thinking about how you are going to act (I think I'll be aloof and avoid eye contact because he craves attention and if I don't give it to him then he will wonder why and perhaps do the ppursueing to find out) etc etc etc

These are all games that people play - perhaps aptly described as the human mating dance - most are not condusive to developing a meaningful relationship based on Love, mutual respect and trust. Better to be open, honest and if the chance occurs to just kick back with the guy and talk - why not just be honest with what your feeling - perhaps admitting why you were acting the way you were previously and see how he reacts and what he reveals - Sure there is a degree of vulnerability there if you do that it's ultimately part of the equation - The only reason not to do that is because you fear his response will not be what you want it to be - well better now then wasting allot of time on something that can't be - but then again with an honest approach he may just open up and indicate feelings that your hoping are there.

Whatever you do thats up to you - my advice is be open, be honest, and COMMUNICATE - and try to avoid the games - some are so subtle that we don't even realize we are playing them when we are!

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[> Subject: Yes, I'll take one of whatever the duck is smoking and one of whatever the beutiful dutch lady is watching, please.
Author: Trevor/TJ [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: Monday, May 19 2003, 23:19:05 GMT ( - 8 ) [ Post a Reply to This Message ]