Subject: Re: How to move forward. Have so much resentment |
Author: Pat
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Date Posted: 06:26:14 05/05/08 Mon
In reply to:
Kris
's message, "How to move forward. Have so much resentment" on 00:08:43 05/05/08 Mon
Hi, Kris,
Your sorrow overwhelms me. I just feel a wash of heaviness, so I know what you must be going through.
First of all, why are you still with this loser? He made you harm your baby, and took away from you something incredibly precious. That is abusive. If I had been involved with him, I would have kicked him out and never looked back. I did it for lot smaller offenses. He has no respect for you; he just wants you to pleasure him. It's a shame you gave up that other relationship to be with this guy. Not only can he manipulate you like he did, but he has a daughter by another woman. Why play second fiddle to him? Dump him already!
You are bonded to him because you had sex with him, so it won't be easy. But the situation with him isn't going anywhere except into more sorrow.
I am really sorry about how things turned out. You should have been able to keep and enjoy your baby. The kind of depression you are experiencing is common, but can be very devastating and can completely derail your life. You really need to get some help. Seriously.
Go to this web site and look for an agency in your area. They can help you with counseling and other services. Most of the help comes from women who have experienced abortion, and have healed emotionally and spiritually.
www.pregnancycenters.org
Most importantly, please seek God's forgiveness. He will give it abundantly if you are truly sorry and turn from this type of situation. I will give you a couple of examples. David, king of Israel, committed a grave sin when he coveted Bathsheba, and sent her husband to the front lines of battle so he would be killed. But God forgave him, said he was a man after His own heart, and placed him as an ancestor of Jesus. Saul murdered Christians. He was responsible for the stoning of Stephen, the first Christian martyr. But God appeared to Saul on the way to Damascus, and forgave him and turned him into the Apostle Paul. I owe my own faith to Paul because he preached to my ancestors. If God will forgive those two sinners, He will forgive you.
In order to receive God's forgiveness, you must also turn from the situation you're in, and give up the sexual activity that got you where you are. And once having received it, you must then forgive yourself. This will be hard. You have a right to be angry at what was done to you. So allow yourself to express your anger, and then forgive them. Forgiveness is not an emotion, it's a decision. It is the decision to accept the hurt that they have done to you and not strike back. You won't forget. But you can release your outrage, and with Stephen, the martyr, say, "God, do not lay this sin to their charge." I am sure that Stephen's prayer is one of the things that moved God to rescue Paul from the pit. After that, take God at His word that He forgives you and forgive yourself. Again, this will be really hard. But tell God you can't even WANT to forgive yourself, so He is going to have to help you. And He will. I have prayed this way a number of times, and He always has. He loves you so much that Jesus died for your sins, including your abortion. Accept this free gift. Jesus said, "It is finished!" He completed your forgiveness and your salvation. All you have to do is accept it. I will be praying for you.
Hugs,
Pat
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