Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 16:33:31 07/23/07 Mon
I am so sorry! Obviously the man you slept with was using you, no question about it. I wouldn't trust him, either. He took advantage of you. He is as much to blame as you are. I do recommend you have nothing further to do with him (at least outside of work, where you probably have to have contact with him, but see what you can do there as well). Let him know how upset you are that he used you. It's OK to be angry with him for now.
The important thing right now is that you make note of the fact that the situation involves more than just you making the decision. You were also defrauded. The abortion clinic had a duty to tell you what was really involved, while you still had a choice. Whatever you do, do not blame yourself for the way you were deceived.
That said, I agree that you have a problem, and I do want to assure you that emotional healing is possible, and so is forgiveness with God. You have sincerely repented, and that is what is necessary.
I don't know where you stand on religion, but I will just tell you some things that may help, and I hope they do. We are given a conscience by God, and God loves us so much He died for us. He already died for what you have done, and He loves you and wants to forgive you. There were some pretty egregious examples of people who did things contrary to God's law. I would like to talk about a couple of them. This is important, because it tells how God will relate to you. The first is King David of Israel, who was an ancestor of Jesus. He lusted after a married woman, and because he wanted her, he sent her husband to the front lines in battle so he would be killed. But God forgave him, and allowed him to become an ancestor of Jesus. Then there was Saul, who went around murdering Christians. The first recorded martyr was Stephen, and Saul presided over his stoning. But God stopped him on the road to Damascus. Jesus appeared to him. And Saul became the Apostle Paul. I owe my faith to him because he preached to my ancestors. The simple fact is that if God would forgive and use these people the way He did, He will forgive you. All you have to do is ask!
Obviously, you will have emotions to deal with, and this can be significant. Forgiving yourself can be very hard. But it is possible, and you can heal emotionally and spiritually.
I can't help you decide how to handle the situation in your home, but obviously, you will need to find the answer to that question.
Here is what I suggest. Go to this web site: www.pregnancycenters.org . They have a list of crisis pregnancy agencies, and you can find one that is in your area. Also, they offer online counseling. The various agencies have programs for women in your situation, and these are mostly run by women who have experienced abortion. So this would be a good thing to try.
PLEASE keep in touch! We love you, and we will be here for you. Whatever you do, don't harm yourself. We don't need another tragedy! I will say a prayer for you.
Hugs,
Pat
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