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Subject: i'm a mess


Author:
heartbroken
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Date Posted: 14:33:07 08/21/07 Tue

I'm a mess! I had my abortion Friday and I am going crazy. I have 2 children, 2 and 4 and we didn't plan on having a third. My husband was supposed to get a vasectomy and took his sweet old time. Needless to say he did not want this baby. I felt so alone, scared and pressured. I feel like I rushed into it and made a haste decision that I will regret for the rest of my life. I know it's fresh but I feel like I'm dying inside. I wish I could go back to last Thursday! I didn't cry all weekend but I yesterday I had a breakdown and now I can't stop crying.

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: i'm a mess


Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 02:18:54 08/22/07 Wed

Hi. I get so angry when men do this to women! Especially their wives! What CAN they be thinking?

Don't be afraid to let your husband know how upset you are. TELL him. Let yourself cry in front of him, if that's what you feel like doing.

If your husband was unwilling to accept this new little one like this, he needs help! And the first step is to let him know exactly how you feel!

You should also get some counseling. The best place is at a crisis pregnancy agency. You can find a list of local ones here, or you can choose online counseling:

www.pregnancycenters.org

We will be here anytime you need to talk.

I hope and pray that you will heal both emotionally and spiritually.

Hugs,
Pat


[> Subject: Re: i'm a mess


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 08:56:51 08/22/07 Wed

Dear Heartbroken,

I am so sorry for your loss. It's a good thing you were finally able to cry and start grieving. Too many times we don't give ourselves the permission to do that, and it's an essential element in the healing process. You will go through many emotions in connection with this. You may find yourself feeling angry, sad, lonely and others. Please visit here:

http://home.att.net/~velvet-hammer/grief.html#Symptoms

It may help you to journal the feelings - this would be a personal journal - for your eyes only - and I suggest once you get to feeling better, you destroy it. It's a theraputic exercise, not a book for others to read.

It's really critical that you keep seeking out help in the matter, as getting stuck in the cycle can damage relationships with your loved ones, even the children you are raising now.

Please consider contacting the local pregnancy center and ask about "Post-abortion" counseling. Here's a site to go to to look that up:


http://www.optionline.org/hadabortion.html

Finally, a *very* good site to visit is this one:

http://www.safehavenministries.com/

They have many message boards and a lot more activity at them than this one.

Please know I will pray for you and that you find peace and healing in the midst of this.

Hang in there, you are not alone, and you are loved.

Kris

[> Subject: Re: i'm a mess


Author:
Joan
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Date Posted: 23:06:00 09/10/07 Mon

Dear Heartbroken,

Your sense of loss is real and so is your broken heart.
But there is hope for healing. Please do not encourage
your husband to have a vascectomy. Being closed to the possibility of new life in your family will only compound the problem. We were never meant to stop our fertility in an artificial way, because life comes from God and our families are meant to
grow in love together, even in our difficult culture. When we choose life, God is always there to help us. If you do an online search, you will find that vascectomies are bad for men both physically and emotionally. Please get help from Rachel's Vineyard, they will help you and your family embark on a new path of truth, love and profound healing.
God bless you.

Sincerely,
Joan


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