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Date Posted: 03:28:23 10/04/01 Thu
Author: darktide
Author Host/IP: ahhk17y6y50ug.bc.hsia.telus.net / 64.180.144.160
Subject: Re: A depressing tale, don't read if you are not into hearing about depression and it's hold on a person
In reply to: Depressed and tired of feeling empty - u-no-hoo 's message, "A depressing tale, don't read if you are not into hearing about depression and it's hold on a person" on 03:47:11 10/03/01 Wed

dear betty-lee,

we DO understand... all too well. we've been toying with these thoughts the last few days and fighting and rejecting them. it is depression's weapon against us, to remove our strength to fight and to make the option of ending it seem like an option... but it isn't...

we haven't met in RL, we don't even get to keep in touch properly, but sassy always keeps us up to date and she sent us over here today.

there are angels around us, and there were several angels with you in the cemetery... especially in the form of that little duck. we've been alone and we know how much it sucks, but it's not forever. we're really sorry that the love you had moved beyond your reach, but you know all things do happen for a reason, and what we've found is that 99% of the time, a little ways down the road, what seemed like hurt and misfortune turned out to be a blessing in disguise. it freed us for the opportunity for something even better, even if it may not be exactly what we thought we wanted in the first place.

i wanted you to know that your going would be a waste and a loss, and would have a negative impact on many people. i'm sorry some jerk has been giving you a hard time. the world seems to have its fair share of jerks, but there are also some wonderful ppl as well... people like those here who are reaching out a hand to you.

having suffered from depression in a milder form since about 13, and then from chronic major depression from about 22, we know all about daily life with the beast. it is a particularly insidious illness because it attacks at your self-esteem and reason and removes the fundamental desire to go on. i know that depression HURTS like hell... anyone who thinks we want to suffer this way has never experienced it.

we don't know about your particular experience with medication, but there are SO many different options now with anti-depressant medication. we've been on some of the older types and experienced the "zombie" feeling, and know that given these as an example you would be reluctant. we've been on so many different types as each one lost its potency or the side effects became unbearable. but we did find/have an old "faithful" in our daily 20mg of prozac which just helps us keep above water. there is CERTAIN to be at least one or more that you will be able to tolerate, and that WILL HELP hon... sometimes docs overprescribe too and it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion if you feel too drugged. don't rule out this line of help because it can make the difference between living and staying perpetually on the edge. ourselves, we will be on medication for life, and will suffer depression to varying extents in life but we have learnt that it is not about us or our weakness but is about a terrible invisible illness named depression.

if you are still feeling suicidal, please call 911 or the local emergency hotline listed in the phone book. there will be lots of trained ppl there (many who have gone through what you are going through) and they are there specifically to help you. please use them, hon...

stay in touch... we're only an e-mail away...

love from your friends,
darktides

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  • Oh my dear friend... you have brought so much love and joy to so many here and have blessed our lives with your shining light, we love you ... please check your e-mail...*BIG HUG* (NT) -- Char, 04:59:06 10/04/01 Thu
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