last gifts -- NSYNC Skeedettes

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Date Posted: 19:52:55 07/27/01 Fri
Author: j-skee
Subject: last gifts

I guess it would be nice to let you know that I am now finished opening my presents. I liked the pen and the magnet with the biblical verses on them. The yo-yo was really cute, although I still find even in my old age I still havent quit gotten the yo-yo down to a science. Last was the NSYNC barbie doll. Yep I sure do love that gift an awful lot. What makes it so great is that I love NSYNC and I collect barbie dolls. So what a great combination. I hope that everyone is doing okay. I got some new insight into the Catherine thing. I found out from one of my moms friends that Catherine thinks I am okay with this whole thing. Dottie said that she said "We talked about it and she is okay with this". Dottie told her she was stupid and being a ditz. I told Dottie that the conversation she is talking about she told me she valued my friendship and wasnt going to persue anything. So I dont know how she got the idea that it was okay. I told Dottie that she must be blind to the fact that I am annoyed by it all and Dottie said she probably doesnt even notice. I now think it is time for a talk. She might continue the relationship with him but she needs to know that I don't appreciate what she did and what she is doing. I know I don't need a guy like that. Life is a tough road of lessons that we have to learn from.

I was informed by my mother this evening that she thinks that something is wrong with me. She said that I seem to be coming across angry and iritated quit a lot lately. Heck I could have told her that. I don't know why I am always feeling that way. She also said I need to work on my self esteem. Well what can I say. I am feeling lousy lately and have been having a lot of self doubt about what I have choosen to do with my life and what I am going to choose to do with my life. I have very little motivation. I fear spending my life alone, with mybe a few dogs, cats and ferrets to keep me company. I know that I am a very blessed person who has a wonderful family and wonderful friends. I know God is looking out for me but if I don't help out some he can only do so much. I'm trying to figure out why it is I am so affraid to try things. I guess I get so comfortable in my world the way that it is that I don't want it to be shaken up to much. Maybe if I could carry my sorry butt out of the house to do more things maybe I could meet someone. I really am at that point in my life where I want to start to share my life with someone other than myself.

Okay ya know what enough of me complaining. I don't want to over push this subject on you guys again. It has to get old after a while. Maybe if I get the chance to come and see you guys out there I will see what there is to offer in the way of jobs and maybe I will pack up my car and head west for a year. But we shall see what I feel like doing. I love and miss you guys so much more than you can imagine. I wish we were all together right now. Love you guys.

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