Cure for Elders -- Remedies

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Subject: Cure for Elders

Author:
Jecket L. Porsness

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Date Posted: 13:44:55 12/14/03 Sun

In winter, Take a lot of snow, and make a bunch of snow dibbuns. Dress them in fresh infirmary smocks. Then, sneak out a barrel or five or 19 of October ale and a tray of scones/flans and roll/put them out on the pond. The elders will spend all day retrieving and washing the smocks and retrieving the ale and food(which will be frozen solid) that they will have no time for you, and you can play all day long. Repeat as nessecary. For summer, take all the fruit from a tree in the orchard, put it in a bag with some rocks, and drop it in the pond from your boat. Get a strong slingbeast(a badger, hopefully) to toss another bag from a different tree onto an ornament on the wall. Continue until no trees have fruit. Do this at night so noone sees you. Tell the elders that some crows visited the Abbey and ruined the orchard. They will spend several hours getting Skipper, Logalog, and several squirrels to get the stuff out of the tree. Repeat no more than once a month or two, Elders have good memories.

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