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Date Posted: 22:59:25 05/15/01 Tue
Author: Naturally
Subject: Children's Memorial

A Brief departure from my irreverent persona...

At last Monday's School Committee meeting, a proposal to build a memorial to children of the town who have passed away was discussed and its concept approved by the committee. Evidently this idea is being supported by the Rotary Club and several parents who have had the terrible misfortune of losing a son or daughter.

At the outset, my thoughts herein should not be constued in any way to trivialize or gloss over a painful circumstance I could not possibly begin to understand. My only intent is to present some ideas on the subject which are a product of thoughful consideration and sincere empathy for those who seek to build this memorial.

I have no quarrel with the idea of building a memorial to remember children of the community who have died. I think such a project could provide and fortify a sense of shared loss and remembrance. It offers testament to the special place children hold within our town.

The site currently being contemplated would be on the High School grounds, at an area next to the gym. I don't believe this would be an optimal site for such a memrial. My reasons are the following:

When considering the emotional turmoil of adolescence and acknowledging that some of our young people entertain thoughts of suicide, I think we must be careful in providing a school atmosphere that embraces life. Many people, when thinking of suicide, carry with them a sense of wothlessness. At times, the act of suicide is fantasized as a way to garner attention that the person believes they don't receive. Being in an emotionally fragile state one such person may see this memorial as a means to obtain that recognition. To the rational individual, that may seem a bit of a stretch, but those considering suicide are not operating under a rational premise.

My second reason would not likely impact a large number of people but I think it's worth considering. In the event that we have a student or students who are attending classes while undergoing treatment for a life-threatening illness, I think it would be difficult for them to have to pass by a memorial for deceased children on a daily basis.

Finally, and this is purely subjective on my part, while I recognie the value in honoring our children in this manner, I balk at putting it on the school grounds simply because I find it discordant with what my perception of a school atmosphere ought to convey. This is not to say that we ought to forget those who have passed away or keep that circumstance out of view from High School students. I just see a memorial on the grounds as being counter to the carefree innocence our children ought to be able to enjoy. As adults, we can appreciate how brief that is and how fondly we remember that time.

Again, this is in no way meant to diminish the worthiness of the memorial concept or to show disrespect for those who are seeking to build it. Sensitivity is not what I am noted for, so I am taking great pains to underscore my sincere approach to this issue. I'd be interested to hear what others have to say about it.

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