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Date Posted: 02:46:09 03/14/05 Mon
Author: S'peer (Scarth, Lilith)
Subject: I've not been very hopeful so far...(Changed it a bit...)
In reply to: Halzay(Elizabeth) 's message, "I'm drunk and I'm feeling down...(Finally found a song for her!)" on 20:51:04 03/13/05 Sun

Keep every moment under control; Always in charge, playing a role…

When Halzay began to cry like that, it was all S’peer could do not to flee. If only she wouldn’t be so scared of him still! It was not a nice thought to know that she might have been scared of him all this time. All the time! Ever since he had…no, S’peer, stop it. But it was so hard not to keep thinking about how much he regretted the whole thing. If he could have changed it, he would have. But then…and the irony almost made him smile…Salzay wouldn’t be here. Like what mother used to say: “When one bad thing happens, a good thing will too”.

S’peer, Elizabeth says you are scaring her rider.

Scarth was at a loss. He had always wanted to go after Elizabeth, but after that first time…he had the feeling that he never would again. Gently he reached out to her with his thoughts.

Elizabeth, please tell your rider not to be scared. Please. S’peer will not hurt her. He has spend the last four years feeling guilty, and the first two of those… He broke off. …Let us say that I do not wish to remember them. Please…Lizzie. You know I can’t lie. Tell her S’peer is no threat…

Great. Now he was scaring her. S’peer ran a hand through his black hair n a nervous habit, looking away from Halzay for a moment. “Scarth says I’m scaring you.” He sighed. “I don’t mean to. I…I would never hurt you again. I promise – I swear – I won’t touch you. Please believe me!”

Lilith – listening, as ever, for anything going on in her Weyr – was instantly alerted by Elizabeth’s call for help. With her distinct authority she settled into Elizabeth’s consciousness, her tone of voice as gentle as ever. It was lucky she was so gentle – if Lilith had been born anything like her rider, it would have been a painful occurrence…

Elizabeth, I am Lilith, retired queen of this Weyr. From Scarth’s distress, and the history of your two riders, I am guessing that they have just met again or the first time in…four years? What did you need my help with, my dear?

True to his promise to keep himself physically away from the green rider, S’peer seated himself far enough away from her on the opposite bench that Halzay wouldn’t feel threatened. His mouth felt so dry…what should he say? Should he be blunt? There were so many questions…

“I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I did – Shells, I haven’t forgiven myself yet. I’ve wanted to apologise to you for all this time…” He took a breath, closing his eyes for a moment. “I was evil. I won’t make excuses for myself. So…could we start again? I’d never, ever hurt you…or anyone else. Ever. And right now I just want between to swallow me up. But we need to get all of this straight…Salzay, and everything.”

Smile and shrug your shoulders, make believe it's fine. Come up with an answer, or a witty line…

((I love Lilith too! She has a solution to every situation, you know…it’s quite unsettling at times.
And woot! I found some lyrics for S’peer too!))

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