Re: My long streak without a spanking is over -- Spanking & Discipline Chat

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Subject: Re: My long streak without a spanking is over

Author:
Debbie
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Date Posted: 18:11:58 04/30/25 Wed
In reply to: Denice to Debbie 's message, "Re: My long streak without a spanking is over" on 19:17:19 04/28/25 Mon

Wow! Denice, that's a lot to unpack, lol. But I appreciate the time it must have taken for such an in-depth response. I'm going to try to address one topic at a time.

First, the severity of the spanking. You are not the first, and I'm sure you won't be the last, to think that at least some of the spankings I've received haven’t been hard enough. No, sorry, that's not what you said. You were basically making the point that many people wouldn't think it was a "real" spanking without lots of tears and a frantic "spanky dance" afterwards. There were a couple other moms who used to post on here, Emma and Cindy, and while they were generally very nice and supportive, they both thought that my spankings should be harder.

I think it's a difficult thing to quantify, and it depends a great deal on the temperament of both parent and child. My mom and I were on a bit of a learning curve when she went back to spanking, instead of other punishments like grounding, when I was 14. Do you know the whole story about how I actually suggested it? It's been about a year and a half, so I don't know how long you have been following my posts. I'm not going to rehash it all, but if you missed the beginning, and want to know more details let me know. Anyway, when that first happened, my mom had to adjust from giving a spanking to a 9 year old to a teenager. She started lighter, almost kind of a symbolic punishment, but quickly ramped things up to something much more genuine. To my best recollection, this last spanking was the first in well over a year that didn't end in tears. I was honestly surprised that it was relatively "lighter." Now, some people might think it wasn't enough. That's totally fine, they are entitled to their opinions. But, as someone who was on the receiving end of the spanking in question, I can tell you that I did feel sufficiently punished, lol.

I've given some thought about why my mom went slightly easier on me, and, this is just an educated guess, but I think she felt she shared a little responsibility in escalating the situation. I actually don't agree with that. Even if she did jump to conclusions about whether I had lied, that doesn't excuse my temper tantrum. I could have explained myself without shouting and slamming doors. I don't resent the fact things ended with a spanking. I pretty much brought that on myself. Sigh. In the end, it was enough for both of us to deal with it and move on, and as you said, that's really the important part.

Leaving aside this specific situation, I just feel like if a parent is going to use spanking, then they should figure out what works for their kid, and spank the minimum amount needed to bring about the desired change in behavior. I am admittedly biased, lol, but if every standard spanking ends in hysterical crying and the kid thinking they are going to die from a broken butt, what will the parent do when the kid REALLY messes up? I feel like there has to be some kind of sliding scale.

Ok, moving on to the question of whether I think my mom enjoys any aspect of spanking me. My gut reaction was, no, of course not! But I did as you asked and took some time to consider what you were saying. I think you explained it very well. Starting with the easiest stuff, yes, I'm sure she enjoys cuddling and comforting me after a spanking. If it happens on the couch in the living room, then I almost always wind up lying down with my head in her lap, and she gently rubs my back and strokes my hair. I'm sure both of us find that closeness to be very soothing and reassuring. I suppose that this recent time when she left her hand resting on my bottom as we talked some more could possibly fall in that same category. Though I don't know if it was on purpose, or if she just realized she wanted to say a few extra things once I was already over her lap.

I kind of doubt that she was waiting for an excuse to spank me. She has said more than once that she'd be happy if she never had to spank me again. Plus, there was the situation where I took our teasing banter in the kitchen too far. She gave me a clear warning, with a few swats of that spoon. But, if she had wanted to give me a proper spanking, that would have been the ideal opportunity. She didn't, because she knew I crossed the line accidentally, but it would have been reasonable to put me over her knee. I wouldn't have thought that it was unfair if she had done it, and I appreciated that I just got the warning instead.

I don't really think she enjoys spanking me. Maybe enjoy is just a little too strong of a word. It could well be that she feels some satisfaction about disciplining me when I need it. That wouldn't surprise me, and I certainly wouldn't hold that against her. She makes sure not to spank me when she is really angry, but I can imagine that it would be satisfying to see me take a spanking when I've really earned it.

As for regular once or twice a month spankings, I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. I can't see myself asking for that. I've seen the topic of maintenence spankings come up on here more than once, and I just don't really understand how a kid wouldn't be resentful if they are being punished when they haven't done anything wrong. And while an after- spanking cuddle is really comforting, that is hardly the only time we have that kind of closeness. So, I don't think our relationship will suffer when I finally grow too old for spankings. (Hopefully sooner than later, ha!)

Thank you for such a thoughtful note, and I tried to give the same consideration in my response. If I missed answering any of your questions, just let me know.

Hugs, Debbie

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Replies:

Subject Author Date

Re: My long streak without a spanking is over Denice to Debbie 20:10:26 04/30/25 Wed

Re: My long streak without a spanking is over -- Debbie To Denice, 19:50:16 05/01/25 Thu

Re: My long streak without a spanking is over -- Pat, 21:53:08 05/01/25 Thu
Re: My long streak without a spanking is over -- Denice to Debbie, 00:30:14 05/02/25 Fri

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>Wow! Denice, that's a lot to unpack, lol. But I >appreciate the time it must have taken for such an >in-depth response. I'm going to try to address one >topic at a time. > >First, the severity of the spanking. You are not the >first, and I'm sure you won't be the last, to think >that at least some of the spankings I've received >haven’t been hard enough. No, sorry, that's not >what you said. You were basically making the point >that many people wouldn't think it was a "real" >spanking without lots of tears and a frantic "spanky >dance" afterwards. There were a couple other moms who >used to post on here, Emma and Cindy, and while they >were generally very nice and supportive, they both >thought that my spankings should be harder. > >I think it's a difficult thing to quantify, and it >depends a great deal on the temperament of both parent >and child. My mom and I were on a bit of a learning >curve when she went back to spanking, instead of other >punishments like grounding, when I was 14. Do you >know the whole story about how I actually suggested >it? It's been about a year and a half, so I don't know >how long you have been following my posts. I'm not >going to rehash it all, but if you missed the >beginning, and want to know more details let me know. > Anyway, when that first happened, my mom had to >adjust from giving a spanking to a 9 year old to a >teenager. She started lighter, almost kind of a >symbolic punishment, but quickly ramped things up to >something much more genuine. To my best recollection, >this last spanking was the first in well over a year >that didn't end in tears. I was honestly surprised >that it was relatively "lighter." Now, some people >might think it wasn't enough. That's totally fine, >they are entitled to their opinions. But, as someone >who was on the receiving end of the spanking in >question, I can tell you that I did feel sufficiently >punished, lol. > >I've given some thought about why my mom went slightly >easier on me, and, this is just an educated guess, but >I think she felt she shared a little responsibility in >escalating the situation. I actually don't agree with >that. Even if she did jump to conclusions about >whether I had lied, that doesn't excuse my temper >tantrum. I could have explained myself without >shouting and slamming doors. I don't resent the fact >things ended with a spanking. I pretty much brought >that on myself. Sigh. In the end, it was enough for >both of us to deal with it and move on, and as you >said, that's really the important part. > >Leaving aside this specific situation, I just feel >like if a parent is going to use spanking, then they >should figure out what works for their kid, and spank >the minimum amount needed to bring about the desired >change in behavior. I am admittedly biased, lol, but >if every standard spanking ends in hysterical crying >and the kid thinking they are going to die from a >broken butt, what will the parent do when the kid >REALLY messes up? I feel like there has to be some >kind of sliding scale. > >Ok, moving on to the question of whether I think my >mom enjoys any aspect of spanking me. My gut reaction >was, no, of course not! But I did as you asked and >took some time to consider what you were saying. I >think you explained it very well. Starting with the >easiest stuff, yes, I'm sure she enjoys cuddling and >comforting me after a spanking. If it happens on the >couch in the living room, then I almost always wind up >lying down with my head in her lap, and she gently >rubs my back and strokes my hair. I'm sure both of us >find that closeness to be very soothing and >reassuring. I suppose that this recent time when she >left her hand resting on my bottom as we talked some >more could possibly fall in that same category. >Though I don't know if it was on purpose, or if she >just realized she wanted to say a few extra things >once I was already over her lap. > >I kind of doubt that she was waiting for an excuse to >spank me. She has said more than once that she'd be >happy if she never had to spank me again. Plus, there >was the situation where I took our teasing banter in >the kitchen too far. She gave me a clear warning, >with a few swats of that spoon. But, if she had wanted >to give me a proper spanking, that would have been the >ideal opportunity. She didn't, because she knew I >crossed the line accidentally, but it would have been >reasonable to put me over her knee. I wouldn't have >thought that it was unfair if she had done it, and I >appreciated that I just got the warning instead. > >I don't really think she enjoys spanking me. Maybe >enjoy is just a little too strong of a word. It could >well be that she feels some satisfaction about >disciplining me when I need it. That wouldn't >surprise me, and I certainly wouldn't hold that >against her. She makes sure not to spank me when she >is really angry, but I can imagine that it would be >satisfying to see me take a spanking when I've really >earned it. > >As for regular once or twice a month spankings, I'm >afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. I can't >see myself asking for that. I've seen the topic of >maintenence spankings come up on here more than once, >and I just don't really understand how a kid wouldn't >be resentful if they are being punished when they >haven't done anything wrong. And while an after- >spanking cuddle is really comforting, that is hardly >the only time we have that kind of closeness. So, I >don't think our relationship will suffer when I >finally grow too old for spankings. (Hopefully sooner >than later, ha!) > >Thank you for such a thoughtful note, and I tried to >give the same consideration in my response. If I >missed answering any of your questions, just let me >know. > >Hugs, Debbie

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